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To the 2 people above who said my parents should have stood up to these people.
Spot on.
My husband is still hurt to this day because THEY DID NOT defend or say anything in our defense.
Again, I was thankful they took us in. I still am. But they didn't have the right to let these outsiders do this to us.
Well maybe at some point in time you and your husband should tell your parents (nicely) how you feel about this.
How hurt you both were that they let outsiders dictate or give opinions on issues that did not concern these people.
You can also tell your parents(and I guarantee this) that if your parents ever need any help(as they get older and sicker) these people won't be around, but your daugther and SIL will.
I see myself sort of falling into this category due to having no place of my own and having to live over at my stepdads house until that comes about.
As far as switching jobs and taking classes is concerned, my current job of driving trucks makes that beyond tough.
If you're called in for a face-to-face interview, or a particular class you're trying to take requires on-campus time of some type, then that's hard to get to if the thing is being held down in San Bernardino and you're stuck in Washington some place waiting on a load.
In addition to there not being a whole lot of good jobs out there, there's also those of us who are stuck in jobs we're growing tired of due to circumstances like the above.
Keep on truckin' and pluggin', but for how long?
Different cultures have different traditions about adults living with their parents.
Thanks Patrick for saying that. I'm hispanic so that is the norm in a traditional hispanic household but I'm seeing a trend towards moving away from that for females not to leave home until they are married.
I think if you are employed, you need to be on your own. Can't afford a place of your own? That's what roommates are for.
At some point you need to grow up and be an adult. Adults live in their own house, have their own bills, and make their own way. You don't do that if you're in your mid/late 20's, 30's, or 40's and still living with your parents.
That is a pretty ignorant statement considering most cultures don't prescribe to the nuclear family unit. I plan on living back home with my mother and helping her pay bills and help her put my younger brothers through college. My extra 48-50k as a nurse will help her greatly. My mom also wouldn't mind me staying and watching her grandchildren for me if I pay for the vast majority of bills. It is a win win situation for all involved.
I also have Asian friends. In many Asian cultures, children take care of their parents when they grow old and three or more generations live under the same roof. Elders are respected and children are boosted as much as possible to help out withthe family in return.
That is a pretty ignorant statement considering most cultures don't prescribe to the nuclear family unit. I plan on living back home with my mother and helping her pay bills and help her put my younger brothers through college. My extra 48-50k as a nurse will help her greatly. My mom also wouldn't mind me staying and watching her grandchildren for me if I pay for the vast majority of bills. It is a win win situation for all involved.
I also have Asian friends. In many Asian cultures, children take care of their parents when they grow old and three or more generations live under the same roof. Elders are respected and children are boosted as much as possible to help out withthe family in return.
It is the same with Middle Eastern culture, too. The US has one of the only cultures in the entire world where it is frowned upon to live with your parents beyond a certain age, usually around your mid-20s.
I think if they want a good financial future, it makes much more sense to move home for a year & live rent free so they can A) Have a 20% house down payment B) pay off their student loans C) save their salary so they'll have $ in case they lose your job.
It's way too common to get laid off, lose your house due to value losses on people that didn't own enough equity in their homes, & to have so much school dept that you'll never have any retirement savings. I think it would do some good for these kids to have a head start in a world that is worse than every before. People don't just run off and get married at 18 anymore and your parents are too poor to pay all your bills if any of that happens--it's all on you. A year or two at home could be a big difference in the rest of your life. IMO. However, the kids that move home, run out and buy brand new cars or the latest gadgets and don't DO anything useful for their future with their money--that's freeloading IMO.
My younger brother has never left my mom house and looks like he has no intention to since he bought a car and has never once said anything about getting his own place.
I think if you are employed, you need to be on your own. Can't afford a place of your own? That's what roommates are for.
At some point you need to grow up and be an adult. Adults live in their own house, have their own bills, and make their own way. You don't do that if you're in your mid/late 20's, 30's, or 40's and still living with your parents.
Says who you? In some cultures people live with their extended families forever. In some cultures children live with their parents until thy are married.
I agree there does seem to be kind of a coddling and babying of the younger generations in the US however people hav brought up great points in terms of staying at home a little longer allows kids to build up a nest egg and maybe buy a place instead of living with three friends in a two bedroom. Also some parents and kids may enjoy the arrangment some moms may like cooking, kids may not mind the company of their parents or lack of freedom.
If it's working for both parties who's to say there's an issue with it as long as the kids aren't total mooches and contribute to the household and it doesn't rise to the level of mooching or being totally dependent on the parnts.
A few generations ago a kid could graduate high school and get a job in a factory or other setting where you could actually support yourself, buy a home, buy a car, have a family. Now days even with a degree many people with degrees in accounting and other non blowoff degrees are still making $10-$12 an hour or doing temp work. It's a different scenario than in the past
Says who you? In some cultures people live with their extended families forever. In some cultures children live with their parents until thy are married.
I agree there does seem to be kind of a coddling and babying of the younger generations in the US however people hav brought up great points in terms of staying at home a little longer allows kids to build up a nest egg and maybe buy a place instead of living with three friends in a two bedroom. Also some parents and kids may enjoy the arrangment some moms may like cooking, kids may not mind the company of their parents or lack of freedom.
If it's working for both parties who's to say there's an issue with it as long as the kids aren't total mooches and contribute to the household and it doesn't rise to the level of mooching or being totally dependent on the parnts.
A few generations ago a kid could graduate high school and get a job in a factory or other setting where you could actually support yourself, buy a home, buy a car, have a family. Now days even with a degree many people with degrees in accounting and other non blowoff degrees are still making $10-$12 an hour or doing temp work. It's a different scenario than in the past
The only issue of living with your parents as an adult is you have NO PRIVACY.
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) how you feel about this.
