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If my mom had no one she wouldn’t have done anything differently. Her mind was fine until the end and legally you couldn’t force her. I worked in child protection which is very different than elder services. Unless senile or otherwise mentally impaired you can’t do a thing. One of my co-workers wore boots when she went to visit some clients because of the filth. I never worked with the elderly because I didn’t think I could deal with it.
I really don’t know. I only lasted 4 years as a social worker and it was a long time ago. I found it too heartbreaking. I would be surprised if people’s rights have gotten to be less instead of more. The department of aging would know.
Mentioning a 'peeing oneself' incident as if it is something out of the ordinary for an older woman or somehow horrifying struck me in the scenario above. You must not realize how very common it is to pee oneself as an older woman.
Read up on 'lack of bladder control' or 'bladder incontinence' at WebMD.com or MayoClinic.org, if you have never run into this malady before, pertaining to women in their 60's and older. The pelvic floor drops and causes lack of bladder control for a good number of women. Others have it due to past pregnancies.
I realize your Mom 'peed herself' because she had a fall for 24 hours, not a daily lack of bladder control - but it's still a topic worth knowing about sometime. But the fact that you mentioned it in the way you did illustrates.
(I realize men have their own problems with this - speaking about it because it was mentioned as being so horrifying or demeaning for a woman, when actually it's quite common)
Jesus no kidding. I mean..."Depends"?? That's just life after a certain age.
Liep, I got curious and in my state a person has to be willing to accept services from the department of aging. You can google your state. I know plenty of elderly people that don’t need depends.
I just looked at our local aging website and there may be many services available to her. Once a week a nurse comes from some agency to do nurse stuff on her. Last night she did say she was going to talk to him about help accessing services. Right now nobody but the nurse comes to help her do anything. She does have her heart set on getting back to California and sees her time here as temporary so that might be one reason she hasn’t looked hard to see what is available here.
It’s a female dog and is a prissy French breed and named after a perfume! And her future does look grim. I don’t want my friend, good neighbor, to have blood on his hands and have to make a life or death decision for her. I will ask her what she would want done if the worst were to happen. I’ve also emailed an animal rescue shelter to seek their advice and will follow up with them. If she has a plan nobody is aware of it and the dog is spending a third night at good neighbors. Good neighbor did take dog to visit mama in the hospital and it was a surprise and made her very happy!
He needs a ballpark $ amount to spend on Vet care. With the clear understanding she would be paying it back.
It’s a female dog and is a prissy French breed and named after a perfume! And her future does look grim. I don’t want my friend, good neighbor, to have blood on his hands and have to make a life or death decision for her. I will ask her what she would want done if the worst were to happen. I’ve also emailed an animal rescue shelter to seek their advice and will follow up with them. If she has a plan nobody is aware of it and the dog is spending a third night at good neighbors. Good neighbor did take dog to visit mama in the hospital and it was a surprise and made her very happy!
Is it a Papillon? If so, reach out to the Papillon rescues and they might be willing to help out or a member might take over her care on their own. Let me know if you need the name of the rescues. I used to foster for one of them years ago and belong to several Papillon FB groups.
WOW... what a situation & one I might easily be facing with advanced RA. My pets are in my will to be placed in PRIVATE rescue, along with funds for their care. Though I have very little, I will NEVER touch that money for them. I know they will be provided for, along with the assurances from my brother & my best 2 friends to put that plan into play.
In terms of help all around: I wonder if area churches/temples have any volunteer programs for needy seniors (shopping, basic "check-ins", light repairs, etc). My old church used to do this: healthy retirees or teenagers for yard work, etc). Once when I was very sick (basically "poisoned" from infusions of antibiotics), someone from the church found out & a team of teenagers showed up at my home to do a yard clean-up. Didn't even know they were coming!!! Two young married women came in with groceries & did a light clean-up of my kitchen (my counters were messy). I was at first rather mortified, but very grateful.
I told the teens that if I was not allowed to tip them, I was going to send them home - they finally agreed - VERY reluctantly, though.
My point is: some religious organizations look for this type of thing - might be worth investigating for the future if you find neighbors in trouble.
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