Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
<unpopular opinion> Yet another case of an elderly person deluding themselves by thinking they're living "independently," when in fact it's taking 2 other people to enable their folly. Look, I get that no one wants to admit their frailty and give up independence, but if you can't even take your own dog to pee, you're not independent. If you can't get your own food & personal items, like adult diapers, without help, you're not independent. If you can't keep up your own home, you're not independent. You are dependent upon other people to enable your daily life. I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to admit that. Once that is acknowledged, it can be addressed in the best possible way, depending upon needs and resources. Otherwise, it's just delusion. The whole "independence at all costs" attitude is nuts. </unpopular opinion>
Living alone in your own home is NOT the same thing as being independent.
This would certainly be an option but one I’m unwilling to take. And I suspect everyone that’s helping and enabling is unwilling to take also. Even the apartment complex is turning a blind eye. The niece now knows more than she did. Hopefully she will step forward and do the right thing as she sees it for her family. When she “broke herself out of the assisted living facility” they called some agency that sent out a social worker to assess her abilities. That was two years ago and they deemed her fit.
It is time to re-evaluate your acquaintance’s situation by elder care of the state.
You mention her HBP and high glucose: looks like she is not even taking medications.
The dog most likely would end up in a shelter.
You could do just 1 last favor and locate a no-kill shelter in that area for the dog.
The time is up for her so called “independent” living - she is depending on a kindness of strangers..far too long
It is time to re-evaluate your acquaintance’s situation by elder care of the state.
You mention her HBP and high glucose: looks like she is not even taking medications.
The dog most likely would end up in a shelter.
You could do just 1 last favor and locate a no-kill shelter in that area for the dog.
The time is up for her so called “independent” living - she is depending on a kindness of strangers..far too long
I think putting a 14 year old dog in a shelter suddenly is cruel. It is far kinder, IMO, to go ahead and have him euthanized at a vet's office, cradled in someone's loving arms. He is near the end of his life, anyway, and no doubt has some medical issues. I can't imagine the trauma the poor dog would go through at a shelter. Any shelter. Even the best of them are horrible environments. They'll share cages, most likely, may get attacked, or sit alone in a cage almost 24X7, getting fed whtever the place can afford. He will wonder where his mom is. And he will wait for mom, who will not come.
The second best option would be a rescue organization. They are more loving and hands on.
But if I were in control, I'd personally take him to a vet (preferably one he's been to before) to be euthanized, after giving him some great treats. And I would hold him as he peacefully fades away. (That's if I couldn't take him myself. If he were a small dog, I might even do that. But at my age I can't handle larger dogs.)
<unpopular opinion> Yet another case of an elderly person deluding themselves by thinking they're living "independently," when in fact it's taking 2 other people to enable their folly. Look, I get that no one wants to admit their frailty and give up independence, but if you can't even take your own dog to pee, you're not independent. If you can't get your own food & personal items, like adult diapers, without help, you're not independent. If you can't keep up your own home, you're not independent. You are dependent upon other people to enable your daily life. I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to admit that. Once that is acknowledged, it can be addressed in the best possible way, depending upon needs and resources. Otherwise, it's just delusion. The whole "independence at all costs" attitude is nuts. </unpopular opinion>
Living alone in your own home is NOT the same thing as being independent.
Not quite true. The vast majority of homeowners are dependent on others, they are called, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, the electric co, oil co, the internet/cable provider, the town DPW, water dept, sewer dept etc etc etc. Landscapers to mow lawns, plow driveways. Then we have many many pet owners who are dependent on dog walkers, doggy play groups, mobile veterinarians, deliveries by UPS, Amazon, etc for pet food, kitty litter and other pet supplies. Then we have many grocery stores who are now doing home delivery or drive through pickup for ordering goceries online or by phone. Ditto for pharmacies. And you know what- many, MANY, of those people who are using all those services are not elderly. Far from it. SO.. get off your high horse( and even livestock owners have reg deliverys of grain, hay, shavings, vets, and farriers etc and most have people working for them cleaning stalls, fencing, feeding etc etc) and stop with the nonsense. Almost NO ONE is independent in this society.
Now if you want to take about the “elderly” in todays world, not only are all those services I listed above available, but many towns have volunteers who will help out. Veterinarians will tell you how to train a small dog to a litter box like a cat, there are MDs that make house calls, police and elderly services do wellness checks, etc etc etc. oh yes lots of times discounts on property taxes, more leeway in paying bills esp energy, oil, gas, electric, depending on the state,.
Instead of criticizing, instead be helpful and think outside the box for a change! Geesh!
I think putting a 14 year old dog in a shelter suddenly is cruel. It is far kinder, IMO, to go ahead and have him euthanized at a vet's office, cradled in someone's loving arms. He is near the end of his life, anyway, and no doubt has some medical issues. I can't imagine the trauma the poor dog would go through at a shelter. Any shelter. Even the best of them are horrible environments. They'll share cages, most likely, may get attacked, or sit alone in a cage almost 24X7, getting fed whtever the place can afford. He will wonder where his mom is. And he will wait for mom, who will not come.
The second best option would be a rescue organization. They are more loving and hands on.
But if I were in control, I'd personally take him to a vet (preferably one he's been to before) to be euthanized, after giving him some great treats. And I would hold him as he peacefully fades away. (That's if I couldn't take him myself. If he were a small dog, I might even do that. But at my age I can't handle larger dogs.)
Sorry, you might be right- depending on a quality of local shelters.
I based my recommendation for shelter based on what is around me- literally-designed and built like the best houses- with heated floors- huge windows and individual enclosures, not cages. Volunteers and staff taking them on walks in a wooded areas...
Still not an easy change for a doggy but it could even be adopted by an older person...
Not quite true. The vast majority of homeowners are dependent on others, they are called, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, the electric co, oil co, the internet/cable provider, the town DPW, water dept, sewer dept etc etc etc. Landscapers to mow lawns, plow driveways. Then we have many many pet owners who are dependent on dog walkers, doggy play groups, mobile veterinarians, deliveries by UPS, Amazon, etc for pet food, kitty litter and other pet supplies. Then we have many grocery stores who are now doing home delivery or drive through pickup for ordering goceries online or by phone. Ditto for pharmacies. And you know what- many, MANY, of those people who are using all those services are not elderly. Far from it. SO.. get off your high horse( and even livestock owners have reg deliverys of grain, hay, shavings, vets, and farriers etc and most have people working for them cleaning stalls, fencing, feeding etc etc) and stop with the nonsense. Almost NO ONE is independent in this society.
Now if you want to take about the “elderly” in todays world, not only are all those services I listed above available, but many towns have volunteers who will help out. Veterinarians will tell you how to train a small dog to a litter box like a cat, there are MDs that make house calls, police and elderly services do wellness checks, etc etc etc. oh yes lots of times discounts on property taxes, more leeway in paying bills esp energy, oil, gas, electric, depending on the state,.
Instead of criticizing, instead be helpful and think outside the box for a change! Geesh!
What is the name for a tradesperson the elderly could hire to help them off the toilet? Or off the floor? On a moment’s notice?
Not quite true. The vast majority of homeowners are dependent on others, they are called, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, the electric co, oil co, the internet/cable provider, the town DPW, water dept, sewer dept etc etc etc. Landscapers to mow lawns, plow driveways. Then we have many many pet owners who are dependent on dog walkers, doggy play groups, mobile veterinarians, deliveries by UPS, Amazon, etc for pet food, kitty litter and other pet supplies. Then we have many grocery stores who are now doing home delivery or drive through pickup for ordering goceries online or by phone. Ditto for pharmacies. And you know what- many, MANY, of those people who are using all those services are not elderly. Far from it. SO.. get off your high horse( and even livestock owners have reg deliverys of grain, hay, shavings, vets, and farriers etc and most have people working for them cleaning stalls, fencing, feeding etc etc) and stop with the nonsense. Almost NO ONE is independent in this society.
Now if you want to take about the “elderly” in todays world, not only are all those services I listed above available, but many towns have volunteers who will help out. Veterinarians will tell you how to train a small dog to a litter box like a cat, there are MDs that make house calls, police and elderly services do wellness checks, etc etc etc. oh yes lots of times discounts on property taxes, more leeway in paying bills esp energy, oil, gas, electric, depending on the state,.
Instead of criticizing, instead be helpful and think outside the box for a change! Geesh!
Well there ya go, running off to illogical conclusions. You know full well that I'm not talking about plumbing, building, working on the farm, or filling the propane tank. I'm talking about EVERY DAY tasks that most people handle independently. And it isn't nonsense. Clearly I touched a nerve. In the case of the lady in the OP, literally picking up stuff off the floor and taking her dog out to poop and cleaning up her own home. Getting up off the toilet seems to be a pretty important part of independence. And having everything delivered is great, but OP said she also needs help just getting stuff ordered and delivered. She also apparently has trouble managing her health (high BP and diabetes?). Does she need someone to help with her medication too?
On the Caregiving subforum, we see this all the time. Somebody's mom/dad/grandma insists on maintaining their independence and staying at home, but dealing with daily life takes a family member willing to devote a load of time to them or church members or neighbors or caregivers. There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't pretend that the person is living "independently."
<unpopular opinion> Yet another case of an elderly person deluding themselves by thinking they're living "independently," when in fact it's taking 2 other people to enable their folly. Look, I get that no one wants to admit their frailty and give up independence, but if you can't even take your own dog to pee, you're not independent. If you can't get your own food & personal items, like adult diapers, without help, you're not independent. If you can't keep up your own home, you're not independent. You are dependent upon other people to enable your daily life. I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to admit that. Once that is acknowledged, it can be addressed in the best possible way, depending upon needs and resources. Otherwise, it's just delusion. The whole "independence at all costs" attitude is nuts. </unpopular opinion>
Living alone in your own home is NOT the same thing as being independent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaternum
Well there ya go, running off to illogical conclusions. You know full well that I'm not talking about plumbing, building, working on the farm, or filling the propane tank. I'm talking about EVERY DAY tasks that most people handle independently. And it isn't nonsense. Clearly I touched a nerve. In the case of the lady in the OP, literally picking up stuff off the floor and taking her dog out to poop and cleaning up her own home. Getting up off the toilet seems to be a pretty important part of independence. And having everything delivered is great, but OP said she also needs help just getting stuff ordered and delivered. She also apparently has trouble managing her health (high BP and diabetes?). Does she need someone to help with her medication too?
On the Caregiving subforum, we see this all the time. Somebody's mom/dad/grandma insists on maintaining their independence and staying at home, but dealing with daily life takes a family member willing to devote a load of time to them or church members or neighbors or caregivers. There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't pretend that the person is living "independently."
I think your posts are very well-stated, excellent, and make good sense.
What is the name for a tradesperson the elderly could hire to help them off the toilet? Or off the floor? On a moment’s notice?
Wait a sec, I'll look it up. I've got the Yellow Pages right here.
<thumb><thumb><thumb>Here it is: "Hoyer Lifts R Us" When You Spawl, Give Us a Call!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
