Living Alone With Pet When an Emergency Happens (55, attractive, cancer)
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Just my opinion. Call the niece again and tell her she needs to call social services. You can be helpful by researching the organizations available in your area and giving her the phone numbers. She may not be aware that there are services available that can help (without her having to make the trip to your area).
Sounds like this ex-neighbor of yours wouldn't be able to "break out" of an assisted living facility anymore... if all she can do is walk to the next door neighbor's front door.
I just spoke to her in the hospital and she said she had spoken with the niece and the niece apparently gave her 3 major reasons why she can’t help her with anything, mother with Alzheimers, developmentally challenged daughter being evicted from living situation and claims she broke her foot a week ago.
She had help breaking out last time and still has that guys number. She may not have money to afford another jail break.
She doesn’t really know her status or how long she will be there and claims she hasn’t seen the doctor today. After hearing all that and how feeble she sounded I’ve decided to rat her out. They only have an on call social worker on Sunday and two attempts to get in touch failed so I will be calling tomorrow to share my concerns. Thanks for all your suggestions.
I am also older and I still do not understand this ridiculous stubbornness. Perhaps you have never seen one of the nicer assisted living facilities.
Added: You have your own little apartment. You have your meals prepared and served to you. They clean your place, they have activities so you can maintain some kind of social life, they do your laundry, they have groups come in to entertain. What's not to like?
Do you mean independent living? My grandmother LOVED that. She HATED a temporary stay in the ALF part. You can't go to the dining room, she couldn't be with her friends. They keep you all together to keep a closer eye on you.
Anyway, I understand your point either way but she couldn't afford a nice one. I fear places like that deeply. It's where I will end up I know because I have no kids or anyone who will be around to care, and I won't be able to afford a nice one either.
I will hold onto my condo with a fierceness. I have a maintenance man I can pay to keep things up. If he doesn't move. I will utilize SERVICES through Medicare and other routes I've looked into for other people rather than unduly impose on neighbors.
I closely guard my money to be independent God willing I can do it until I drop dead. Both my grandmothers were independent until they died. I lack their grit, but perhaps I will be lucky. My mother needed very little help and didn't have to go into LTC either.
I am also older and I still do not understand this ridiculous stubbornness. Perhaps you have never seen one of the nicer assisted living facilities.
Added: You have your own little apartment. You have your meals prepared and served to you. They clean your place, they have activities so you can maintain some kind of social life, they do your laundry, they have groups come in to entertain. What's not to like?
You mean the nicer assisted living facilities that cost $5000-$7000 per month, which many/most people can't afford?
Perhaps you have never seen one of the cheap assisted living/nursing facilities? The ones where they scrape the bottom of the bargain barrel to hire their employees, if they hire enough of them, can't afford renovations, etc.?
I just spoke to her in the hospital and she said she had spoken with the niece and the niece apparently gave her 3 major reasons why she can’t help her with anything, mother with Alzheimers, developmentally challenged daughter being evicted from living situation and claims she broke her foot a week ago.
She had help breaking out last time and still has that guys number. She may not have money to afford another jail break.
She doesn’t really know her status or how long she will be there and claims she hasn’t seen the doctor today. After hearing all that and how feeble she sounded I’ve decided to rat her out. They only have an on call social worker on Sunday and two attempts to get in touch failed so I will be calling tomorrow to share my concerns. Thanks for all your suggestions.
This poor woman has no money so she was probably in a dump. My mom spent 2 weeks rehabbing in a decent nursing home after a operation and 13 weeks in the hospital. Even though clean, etc it left a lot to be desired. They wouldn’t follow her dietary needs and my sister had to bring her food. She decided to never go in one. She went through 3 serious bouts of cancer from 78-89 before dying. I lived across the country and used all my vacation and sick leave to help as needed. My siblings lived a hour away and 6 hours away. They retired during the third bout that lasted 2 1/2 years. Sometimes one would stay with her for a month. She had meals on wheels, someone to clean and managed. A week before she died she fell and didn’t have her medical alert on. She laid for 24 hours until her sister went over. She had peed herself. She spent a week in the hospice facility she had picked out. She wasn’t safe but lived how she wanted. I intend to do the same.
This poor woman has no money so she was probably in a dump. My mom spent 2 weeks rehabbing in a decent nursing home after a operation and 13 weeks in the hospital. Even though clean, etc it left a lot to be desired. They wouldn’t follow her dietary needs and my sister had to bring her food. She decided to never go in one. She went through 3 serious bouts of cancer from 78-89 before dying. I lived across the country and used all my vacation and sick leave to help as needed. My siblings lived a hour away and 6 hours away. They retired during the third bout that lasted 2 1/2 years. Sometimes one would stay with her for a month. She had meals on wheels, someone to clean and managed. A week before she died she fell and didn’t have her medical alert on. She laid for 24 hours until her sister went over. She had peed herself. She spent a week in the hospice facility she had picked out. She wasn’t safe but lived how she wanted. I intend to do the same.
Me too although I do fear just lying in the bathroom or wherever.
She’s not currently in jail now. The jail break referred to her voluntarily leaving the facility she was in that also took in the dog. Hopefully she can find something like that again. She never wanted to be in this city but ended up here through serendipity. All of her efforts for the whole time I have known her have been directed towards getting a government subsidized senior apartment in California, where she spent most of her life. That was a frequent topic for updating when I spoke to her was what place she was at on a waiting list. She made it to the top of one place but couldn’t qualify for reasons I don’t know and now she believes she is at number 4 at another place and told the other neighbor she hopes to be gone by the end of January. I think it is all wishful thinking on her part, the town she will be living in is 2 hours from this niece that never once came to visit in the 3 years she was here and she still won’t be able to take care of herself very well.
This poor woman has no money so she was probably in a dump. My mom spent 2 weeks rehabbing in a decent nursing home after a operation and 13 weeks in the hospital. Even though clean, etc it left a lot to be desired. They wouldn’t follow her dietary needs and my sister had to bring her food. She decided to never go in one. She went through 3 serious bouts of cancer from 78-89 before dying. I lived across the country and used all my vacation and sick leave to help as needed. My siblings lived a hour away and 6 hours away. They retired during the third bout that lasted 2 1/2 years. Sometimes one would stay with her for a month. She had meals on wheels, someone to clean and managed. A week before she died she fell and didn’t have her medical alert on. She laid for 24 hours until her sister went over. She had peed herself. She spent a week in the hospice facility she had picked out. She wasn’t safe but lived how she wanted. I intend to do the same.
Mentioning a 'peeing oneself' incident as if it is something out of the ordinary for an older woman or somehow horrifying struck me in the scenario above. You must not realize how very common it is to pee oneself as an older woman.
Read up on 'lack of bladder control' or 'bladder incontinence' at WebMD.com or MayoClinic.org, if you have never run into this malady before, pertaining to women in their 60's and older. The pelvic floor drops and causes lack of bladder control for a good number of women. Others have it due to past pregnancies.
I realize your Mom 'peed herself' because she had a fall for 24 hours, not a daily lack of bladder control - but it's still a topic worth knowing about sometime. But the fact that you mentioned it in the way you did illustrates.
(I realize men have their own problems with this - speaking about it because it was mentioned as being so horrifying or demeaning for a woman, when actually it's quite common)
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