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Oh. You mean the freedom to die on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own waste. As you pointed out, the neighbor is often gone for a week at a time. That ought to be just about enough time to expire from dehydration.
Clearly no one should do anything to prevent that.
You have more faith in the government than I do. This isn’t my role, I’m too far removed. I have made her next of kin aware of my concerns as well as providing extensive pictures of the inside of her apartment. This is a family affair as I see it. My main concern is for my friend, the neighbor, and he not end up having to decide the fate of her pet when the time comes. I can’t image a kennel would take it without up front payment and he’s in no position to do that.
Oh. You mean the freedom to die on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own waste. As you pointed out, the neighbor is often gone for a week at a time. That ought to be just about enough time to expire from dehydration.
Clearly no one should do anything to prevent that.
You would be surprised - yes - the freedom to do what they want to do. And if that means she doesn't want anyone but one certain person to come see her and that certain person is not available - too bad so sad.
Social worker told us we could not force my mother to do anything she didn't want to do since she was in her right mind. They will not even tie them in bed so they won't get out and fall.
Either you stay by their side 24/7, they put them on a low bed or place padded mats all around.
So we stayed with her. Later they had the mats until she was stable.
A human being still has rights.
My brother was having a terrible episode at the house. Called EMS - he wouldn't go with them. And they said they couldn't force him to go. After about an HOUR he finally went.
Oh. You mean the freedom to die on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own waste. As you pointed out, the neighbor is often gone for a week at a time. That ought to be just about enough time to expire from dehydration.
Clearly no one should do anything to prevent that.
Ditto.
Regarding pet animals of people who live alone. I believe that if the ambulance workers realize that there is an unsupervised pet, they call the police and/or animal control to remove the animal to the pound. At least that is what happened in my old city.
However, the ambulance workers told me that they are concentrating on the wellbeing of the human person and unless the pet is very, very obvious to them (such as barking or laying by the injured person) they will not look for an animal so pets are often just left in the house or yard when they leave.
Last edited by germaine2626; 12-29-2019 at 02:41 PM..
You have more faith in the government than I do. This isn’t my role, I’m too far removed. I have made her next of kin aware of my concerns as well as providing extensive pictures of the inside of her apartment. This is a family affair as I see it. My main concern is for my friend, the neighbor, and he not end up having to decide the fate of her pet when the time comes. I can’t image a kennel would take it without up front payment and he’s in no position to do that.
The government won't take her away. She is still okay in the head. You and I might not think so - but she would probably pass the tests they give her. They can't force her to go to a home.
Check with local animal rescue places.
There might even be a place with free boarding for these type of situations. I have a friend that does this. She is into animal rescue and one thing she is building is a place for animals that get caught up in domestic abuse situations. The abuse victim has a place to go but can't take their pets. She will provide a place for them.
Call your local Adult Protective Services. They will come out and do an assessment on her. If they feel she is competent to live alone, there is nothing more they will do. Everything is kept confidential of course.
Last edited by organic_donna; 12-29-2019 at 02:21 PM..
Reason: Spelling
The government won't take her away. She is still okay in the head. You and I might not think so - but she would probably pass the tests they give her. They can't force her to go to a home.
Check with local animal rescue places.
There might even be a place with free boarding for these type of situations. I have a friend that does this. She is into animal rescue and one thing she is building is a place for animals that get caught up in domestic abuse situations. The abuse victim has a place to go but can't take their pets. She will provide a place for them.
Look on facebook for rescue groups in the area.
Good idea. Thank you. I just sent an email to a local animal rescue laying out the situation and asking them for advice.
Regarding pet animals of people who live alone. I believe that if the ambulance workers realize that there is an unsupervised pet, they call the police and/or animal control to remove the animal to the pound. At least that is what happened in my old city.
However, the ambulance workers told me that they are concentrating on wellbeing of the person and unless the pet is very, very obvious to them (such as barking or laying by the injured person) they will not look for an animal so pets are often just left in the house or yard when they leave.
I am intrigued by the idea that a former neighbor who has not seen or spoken to this woman in quite some time -- as well as another forum poster who is even further removed than that -- is somehow utterly certain she doesn't have dementia.
I doubt this would pass the smell test in the Caregiving Forum.
This is tangentially related to the “growing old all alone” thread. I think I may have mentioned an old neighbor and her situation here a couple of times before. She lives in my current city but I moved away and then back but now live on the opposite side of town. (A 30 minute drive). She has never been able to completely care for herself due to mobility issues and she imposes on her neighbors for help. When I was her neighbor I helped occasionally and didn’t feel too put out about it. She leans heavily on another neighbor and would give him a little cash for his efforts but apparently a very small amount of cash as he occasionally complains to me about how much he has to do for so little and how she reacts (like he is being unreasonable when he brings up the subject). He is not her friend but can’t say no to her out of pity. I’ve known him for longer than her and the things he does for her everyday far exceed what one should expect from a neighbor So...
I’m minding my own business Friday morning when he calls me in a panic. She is in medical distress, unable to get up off her toilet (she has fallen at least 7 times and each time has to get the fire department to get her off the floor but never had an issue getting up from the toilet) She doesn’t want 911 called, she’s asking him to call me. I rush over and when I get there she is being brought out and put in an ambulance and whisked away to the emergency room. My friend is interacting with the first responders, giving the name and number of her only living relative that lives 1000 miles away and is dealing with her own mother’s end of life issues. So now the ambulance is gone and he has her dog, a 14 year old that isn’t particularly difficult to deal with but now the dog has slept in his apartment for the last 2 nights. He does not like this dog and one of the tasks he has adopted for himself for the almost 3 years she has lived there is to pick up and dispose of this dog’s poop. All she does is stand at het door and let the dog poop knowing this one neighbor will pick it up and dispose of it. I’m certain when she gets home, whenever that is (she is in for observation and they have kept her and extra day so far) she won’t be offering any compensation for the dog’s boarding.
If the neighbor wasn’t such a decent person and willing to step forward in her time of need (and he travels out of town every couple of months for a week) what do first responders do with pets when they remove a pet owner like I have described for an uncertain period of time?
I spoke to her niece for the first time and told her I didn’t think this woman could care for herself and that she was living in filth. She asked for pictures and I sent them to her. I hadn’t been in her place in 8 months and it is very depressing. (A local woman she is now estranged from got her placed in and assisted living place but after a couple of weeks and before they could close out her apartment she returned to it and has been doing the best she can with the help of her neighbors) She is 81 and was hospitalized for high bp 239/189 and high sugar 435.
Depending on the individual, they would do nothing about the dog or have animal control pick him or her up.
The government won't take her away. She is still okay in the head. You and I might not think so - but she would probably pass the tests they give her. They can't force her to go to a home.
Check with local animal rescue places.
There might even be a place with free boarding for these type of situations. I have a friend that does this. She is into animal rescue and one thing she is building is a place for animals that get caught up in domestic abuse situations. The abuse victim has a place to go but can't take their pets. She will provide a place for them.
Look on facebook for rescue groups in the area.
Good idea. Free fostering.
OP, is the woman poor? Can she afford to pay fairly for help?
A woman here utilizes the maintenance guy. She pays him, so there are no hard feelings of being asked for favors all the time.
First of all fluffy when I worked in Wisconsin you could not force a adult to do anything. I have seen people live in filth and not really be able to care for themselves. It was worth it to some people and I never understood it. Now that I am older I do understand. Living in a facility would be hell.
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