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Here is a tried and true test if you are marriage material. Do you care if your spouse gets the better deal or not? I don't. I hope my wife does get the better of it. Overshoot because the odds are you are aiming too low.
I filed for divorce. It wasn't "automatically" granted. In fact, it was not granted at all, because she didn't show for the hearing and the judge would not make a ruling without her being present.
No kids involved, so no problems there.
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Originally Posted by Avienne
Were you in Florida at the time? What a lousy way of handling things.
In Virginia, my wasband didn't have to be present. I just had to have a witness state that she'd been to my residence and had seen no evidence of him living there.
Thats really odd, when I divorced my first husband here in Fl, he never responded, and never showed....the judge had no problem with it.
My best friend also just got divorced, same scenario, same result.
Maybe its a county thing?
I've been married twice. The first time for twenty years, and my exwife had one affair after another that I didn't even know about until they were over with. She filed and I lost almost everything, except the love of my four children. I took a chance on a woman once again after being single for 13 years. I did it because of love and trust. All I can say is know your woman before you marry her, don't marry the wrong kind of woman (you can not change her to suit yourself). Then take care of her and do the little things that matter, things that keep a smile on her face. She will never get tired of hearing those three little words "I Love You". Yes, I agree, you can't look in a ladies eyes and tell if she will or if she won't "take you to the cleaners", but you don't have to be in a hurry, take your time, look into her heart. Find out something about her parents and how she was raised. Does she make you feel good about yourself? If she doesn't, think twice...
I've been married twice. The first time for twenty years, and my exwife had one affair after another that I didn't even know about until they were over with. She filed and I lost almost everything, except the love of my four children. I took a chance on a woman once again after being single for 13 years. I did it because of love and trust. All I can say is know your woman before you marry her, don't marry the wrong kind of woman (you can not change her to suit yourself). Then take care of her and do the little things that matter, things that keep a smile on her face. She will never get tired of hearing those three little words "I Love You". Yes, I agree, you can't look in a ladies eyes and tell if she will or if she won't "take you to the cleaners", but you don't have to be in a hurry, take your time, look into her heart. Find out something about her parents and how she was raised. Does she make you feel good about yourself? If she doesn't, think twice...
you cant tell by behavior they can mask it pretty good.
however some jump the gun-- i had one asking me lots of questions about divorce proceedings b4 i popped the question!!!
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Originally Posted by Redisca Also, I'm tired of dispelling the myths about the "50% failure rate".
I'll help you out. When one considers the unhappy campers who cannot afford to split up, the "failure" rate is actually over 75%. So there, you are correct.
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Originally Posted by Redisca Also, I'm tired of dispelling the myths about the "50% failure rate".
I'll help you out. When one considers the unhappy campers who cannot afford to split up, the "failure" rate is actually over 75%. So there, you are correct.
the internet is crawling with stats on the 50% rate of marriage failure. to call it a myth is a stretch. sort of like the alleged DNA evidence.
However the trophy wife is usually not the problem. Its the trophy husband. The studies I have seen indicate marital problems occur where the man is regarded as more attractive.
That's a great way to frame the problem with marriage 2.0.
Its no longer like marrying like. Certainly this might help lower the divorce rate somewhat but the fact is that most young women are not interested in any man who is just as "good" as they are. They all want far "better" and this makes the competition fierce for those men who meet with their superficial approval. Meanwhile such men have little incentive to to what is necessary to be good husbands and their attitude is why change what works.
For those women who fail in this quest, their prior experience almost ensures that they will be dissatisfied with any man they must "settle" for.
the internet is crawling with stats on the 50% rate of marriage failure. to call it a myth is a stretch. sort of like the alleged DNA evidence.
First marriages end in divorce about 40 percent of the time but the failure rate for subsequent marriages is much higher, so the 50% rate is not far off. However, I don't think that a marriage is necessarily a "success" until divorce ends it. A lot of couples are in "proto-divorce", to coin a term.
Another point to make is that rates of divorce are only an estimate of what the eventual rate will be. These assumptions might change - for the better or worse. The couples married in say 1990 will only stop divorcing in significant numbers during the 2040s.
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