Should I Care Or Shouldn't (how to, love, young, family)
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THIS HATRED I FEEL is not healthy. i need your opinions please:
my sister adopted an infant. she adopted that boy infant from the day it was born. i am the youngest of our family. she is the eldest. she has been like a mother and father to me although we were not orphans. our parents was just too busy with work making sure they feed all their 9 kids i guess. i am now in my 30s and living with her and this kid. i admit i don't like the way she is spoiling her adopted. i feel indifferent with this kid becoz i know he is adopted. and felt he does not have the right to be spoiled like the way she is spoiling him. what makes it hard is i see it and it makes me hate this boy more and more. this actually is the main reason why i wanna move out ASAP. and i intend to as soon as i pay my car in full so that would be 2 more years misery to me. as much as i wanna move out, i cant financially. and if i dont succeed i would just hate this spoiled adopted boy more and more becoz instead of me living with my sis he is the one mooching my sis and i honestly feel he does not have the right to. i need you to wake me up.. and possible realize why i have to feel this way. i dont like this hatred i feel. i really don't.
You are very jealous of sharing your sister that has always looked out for you and done everything for you. Now you have to let her love someone else and do for someone else. As hard as it is; you need to let this go and embrace your nephew. You will find a new and wonderful love for him. I would recommend strongly you see a therapist before these feelings get even worse than they already are.
Yes, seek some counseling. How can you say a baby is mooching.
Being 30, you should be on your own and if you ask me - you're mooching off your sister, not the child.
Rather than retype, I'll just quote.
It's your sister's choice if she wants to spoil HER baby (she chose him he is hers), her husband, or anyone else she wants to spoil. A 30 year old should not be jealous of a baby regardless of biology. This is what your sister chose. Honor her by honorig that.
thanks for your replies. you are both right on. i dont think i need counseling though. yes i am jealous. and by the way the boy is now 10 yrs old. and just recently my sis woke me up early coz she says her spoiled adopted boy has to be driven to his swimming lessons.. i protest, and she told me that if i dont drive him that i better pack up my bags and leave. it is not the only time she told me that whenever i protest about her spoiled adopted boy and needless to say im very very hurt. i feel that i am her OWN flesh and blood and yet she chose her adopted over me.
I agree with Torn, why are you still mooching off your sister? If you really want to move then get rid of that probably expensive car and buy one you can afford along with rent. I bet you are not paying her rent, are you?
And as mentioned before, get some help.
You're jealous of the attention a young son is getting from his adoptive Mom?!?
This is acceptable behavior from another baby, a toddler, a kid, and the family dog. But you're 30ish...GROW UP.
You need to evaluate your priorities which will assist you in determining how to achieve your goals. I appears to me that you've been taken care of by your sister - kudos to her. Unfortunately, it also appears that you've been hampered by her care, i.e. you've been spoiled and never learned, or was never forced to learn, how to be your own person. It is time for you to become independent.
It also appears to me like you're frustrated with some 'failings' in your life and the son is magnifying that frustration. You need to get out of there before you do something or say something that can cause real damage. Do not take your anger out on him...!
Last edited by MIKEETC; 06-14-2008 at 07:23 PM..
Reason: realized the kid is 10
the others who replied wow i cant believe how you decipher all those things.. and they are all right esp mikeetc's. for the record though, i pay $400 every month.
THIS HATRED I FEEL is not healthy. i need your opinions please:
my sister adopted an infant. she adopted that boy infant from the day it was born. i am the youngest of our family. she is the eldest. she has been like a mother and father to me although we were not orphans. our parents was just too busy with work making sure they feed all their 9 kids i guess. i am now in my 30s and living with her and this kid. i admit i don't like the way she is spoiling her adopted. i feel indifferent with this kid becoz i know he is adopted. and felt he does not have the right to be spoiled like the way she is spoiling him. what makes it hard is i see it and it makes me hate this boy more and more. this actually is the main reason why i wanna move out ASAP. and i intend to as soon as i pay my car in full so that would be 2 more years misery to me. as much as i wanna move out, i cant financially. and if i dont succeed i would just hate this spoiled adopted boy more and more becoz instead of me living with my sis he is the one mooching my sis and i honestly feel he does not have the right to. i need you to wake me up.. and possible realize why i have to feel this way. i dont like this hatred i feel. i really don't.
How old are you, 12? Only a very young kid would be this self absorbed and selfish.
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