Should I Care Or Shouldn't (interested, perfect, people, school)
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Has anyone noticed this guy hasn't commented in over a month? We've been had, people. Some pimply teenager thought it would be fun to get us all up in arms.
I am just going out on a limb here - but you are being judged by what you are writing about yourself. We are perfect strangers - but you came here and posted about your life and asked us for our opinions and now you're getting crazy because you don't like what others have to say. It sounds like you need to grow up.
And - learn some grammer.
oh sure i will. if you learn your OWN grammAr! how funny some people think they are grammAr nazis when they themselves dont know how to spell the VERY word itself. oh well... love the bears... since when did YOU become my English teacher by the way...? and i say to you: get a life.
You really do have an anger problem - maybe you should not be asking total strangers for advice. And - I spelled it wrong on purpose - I was wrong - you can spell - you just can't type. I guess having a life means being on the internet talking to strangers on a Friday night. I'll not respond to you again - you really are a nasty person. I hope that you get away from your poor sister and her son fast.
good riddance. i always dont get why people get nasty at you in the first place and when you treat them nastily back all of a sudden you have an anger problem.. oookaayy.
There's a difference between misspelling and grammar, LBS.
That is what I was thinking and was going to post, however, as I continued reading, I see you have already posted such. Therefore, I'll just quote you on this.
LBS - It's quite obvious you have an anger problem. It has come across loud and clear since the beginning, by and through, your own words and admissions as to how you view your nephew. That's right, I said your nephew. Despite the fact that he is adopted, therefore, fails to have your family's blood running through his veins, he is your nephew.
How someone can have so much animonsity and utter contempt for a small child, for no other reason than the fact that he is adopted and not a blood child of their sister's, is beyond me. I have stayed away from this thread since my initial posting on it because quite frankly, it disgusts me that someone can feel that way about a child.
I hope and pray that you personally never experience that sort of unmerited attitude from anyone. No human being deserves it, even you. However, having said that, I will once again suggest that you do everyone a favor, including yourself and work towards accomplishing what you need to accomplish in order to move out. The sooner the better as every day that you stay in that house, you are in effect hurting that little boys psyche.
In your thread topic the question you posed was "Should I care or Shouldn't". The simple answer is that you "should" care. You "should" care about your sister, about your nephew, and about being a source of assistance and encouragement to them both. However, the problem is not in whether or not you should care, the problem lies in the fact that you are not able to see past yourself and this anger, jealousy, resentment, or whatever else it maybe to see the harm that you are causing and the hurt you are inflicting upon your nephew and your sister.
Therefore, while you should care, you simply "won't" care, at least not about anything or anybody but yourself and what serves you. Many people have pointed out many good and logical things to you throughout this thread, but you "won't" see any of it because you are too busy being stuck in your hatred. I do suggest you seek counseling, though I know you probably won't.
whats with the word troll in this forum? anyway, i know that if it is my sister's biological child.. i definitely would not feel this way and would even spoil that child myself. it is the fact that he was adopted. that is my main issue. anyway, it is not like i am mistreating him. i just don't like him. and i feel the sacrifices my sister is giving him is not worth it. i am just worried that if this adopted 10 yr old boy would grow up and mistreat her or be ungrateful my heart will break for her. but what someone said is right. it is her choice. nothing i can do about it. and what a few said is very right, I NEED A LIFE. and i am trying.
Back to the topic..
I highly doubt that you would treat the biological child in a loving way. You most likely will view that child as competition for your sister's attention and affection, and grow resentful as well. The fact that this child is adopted is an attempt at self-validation. You need to seek counseling (at the minimum) to sort out your childhood issues and dependnce (financial and emotional) on your sister.
While you may not be physically or verbally abusing the child, your presence is already harming him. As others have stated, you're a toxic existence to this child. Ever have to spend time with someone and you just know they don't like you? There's no overt action, but it's subtle hostility or general coldness, lack of warmth that shows. Most likely the child has already picked up on this (especially at 10 years of age) and already knows that you don't like him, and can't figure out why. You may think you're hiding it, but these things are fairly easily detectable. This is emotionally damaging to the child. Hence, you need to move out immediately. Not in 2 years when you pay off the car, but now, as in within the month.
You yourself are doing just what you are afraid the child will do: grow up and be ungrateful and mistreat (by taking advantage of) your sister. She took care of you in place of your parents and endured the sacrifices. And yet instead of growing up to be an independent, self-sufficient adult, here you are at age 30 mooching off your sister and taking advantage of her and now tainting her family with your hatred. You are the one who is spoiled with misaligned priorities. You cling on to a MINI that you can't afford (get counseling on why you put so much importance on a car while you're at it) and would rather mooch on and hurt your sister and her family than do what's best for you and your sister (what a slap in the face to your sister, i'd say that's ingratitude & mistreatment). You need to develop independence, and the only way to do that is to move out, now. You're used to being doted on, and it's past time you stand on your own.
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