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Are you sure that you do not have a mental health condition? 30 years old living with your sister and being jealous over her baby? You need psychiatric help, this hatred you feel is abnormal.
I was thinking the same thing. At first I thought she needed counseling. Now I feel a psychiatric evaluation is more like it.
If it was just a matter of the fact that she won't get out and support herself because "OMG I have my dream car, and I'd rather sponge off someone else so I can keep it than be a responsible adult," then I'd say counseling.
However, a person has to be truly sick to feel such intense hatred for an innocent child - simply because he didn't gestate in her sister's womb.
[quote=LBSer;4109378] i know that if it is my sister's biological child.. i definitely would not feel this way and would even spoil that child myself. it is the fact that he was adopted. that is my main issue. QUOTE]
Now that is just pathetic. Put yourself in his shoes -- if you are able to be even a tiny bit empathetic. If your biological parents could not, for some reason, keep you and you were adopted: would you feel bad if someone hated you because you were adopted? It is NOT the fault of the child. Are you mature enough to understand that? I am so thankful that people like you with your archaic attitude are rare. My wonderful adopted children do not need to be exposed to such ridiculous hatred.
anyway, i know that if it is my sister's biological child.. i definitely would not feel this way and would even spoil that child myself. it is the fact that he was adopted. that is my main issue. anyway, it is not like i am mistreating him. i just don't like him. and i feel the sacrifices my sister is giving him is not worth it. i am just worried that if this adopted 10 yr old boy would grow up and mistreat her or be ungrateful my heart will break for her. but what someone said is right. it is her choice. nothing i can do about it. and what a few said is very right, I NEED A LIFE. and i am trying.
You don't think the sacrifices your sister makes to this child are worth it!?! What the h*ll does that mean? It's not worth it to make this child feel safe and loved because it costs your sister time and money? Why would you assume this child would grow up and hate your sister? That's the only mother he knows. Here's my fear; at some point you're going to lash out at this child out of anger over something he does and you're going to say something that can really damage him permanently. Does your sister realize she's raising 2 kids?
anyway, i know that if it is my sister's biological child.. i definitely would not feel this way and would even spoil that child myself. it is the fact that he was adopted. that is my main issue..
Why is the fact that your sister's son is adopted an issue for you? That seems odd.
He is a child - he did not choose to loose his parents. He did not choose to be adopted.
Your sister now has a child. Whether he is biological or not makes absolutely no difference. She is a Mother. You are an aunt.
When people say that you are damaging him by your very presence, they are right. Do you think he isn't aware that his aunt ignores him all the time? Is it not enough that he has lost his parents? Now he gets to be rejected by you as well?
You are damaging not only him, but also yourself and your relationship with your sister by exibiting this very unappealing behavior.
Therapy does sound like it may be the most appropriate option, but you either need to make an effort to be an aunt to your nephew, or you need to move out. Like now.
Ok just so you know I was completely cracking up reading this. I am going to move on from saying I thought I had issues; you’re a moocher and grow up. I am guessing you are getting a lot of that. So you are the youngest (the baby) and your sister is technically your mother and probably a close friend. Is your sister married? I hope you do not speak the way you have to us to them. Even if you don’t and those thoughts are in your head at some point the feelings will show. Have you and your sister ever talked about this? Especially when the new baby arrived. If not that may be one of your issues. It’s a little late now but your anger is probably growing. So you have to deal with it. Maybe you just need to get it out. I would advise to choose your words carefully. Expanding your vocabulary and learning how to recognize and express yourself in a positive manner will help. You may also feel the need to apologize for thinking such things. I know there are some things that I have hated that I thought and I really disliked myself and the person that pushed me into thinking such evil thoughts. Unfortunately your thoughts are brought on by an innocent child that replaced you and that looks up to you or will one day. I have told my friends the same thing about their kids “mooching”. However, I choose different words. Children are very smart. They pick up quick and they read adults very well. They know exactly what they can get away with and how to play people on each other. He may be picking up the “mooching” from his Uncle. The boy is reaching the age that he needs to learn responsibility. Maybe you two can learn it together. If you think he is “mooching” then help your sister out. Come up with a way for him to earn money or start a neighborhood business and help him. Maybe match his money for that new X-Box. (I hate those things) You two can bond with out even talking that much and your sister will really appreciate it. So everyone wins.
Either way if you aren’t a pain, help with the bills can afford a nicer life or college fund. If I had put up with your butt this long and I had a son that needs to go to college I would make you pay for it and 400.00 a month isn’t much. I don’t know all your arrangements (groceries, lights, ect) so I won’t assume. There are some productive ways to discuss issues with your sister but I am just going off what little bit you wrote and I don’t want to assume you are as shallow as you sound. I am hoping that you are just trying to get across that you feel like as a** for think such things.
Of course you can always get out but that isn't going to completely fix your issues.
I apologize. I thought when you said earlier would it help if I said I where a woman, you where just implying. My bad but you still get the point.
Last edited by pooky35759; 06-15-2008 at 12:29 PM..
LBSer: Listen here. I am an adopted child. I take umbrage at your attitude toward adoptees. I was fortunate in that there were no worthless losers in my adoptive family who treated me like I was crap. At least none I was ever aware of. All my relatives rejoiced when my parents got me because they were happy for them. All my relatives love me and have always been a blessing in my life.
How DARE you adopt (pardon the pun) such a sub-human attitude towards another human being. You are no better than a white supremacist who hates blacks because of the color of their skin. You say you're concerned that this child will grow up to treat your sister like crap? BS. What type of fools do you take us for? A biological child can do the same thing and I've seen it over and over again.
I'm beginning to believe that you are trolling this forum because while I know there are subterranean retards like you out there, I think most of them are too humiliated to show their ugly faces to polite society.
If you truly are what you say you are then get out of the house. You have no right or business being there.
Oh, and when you grow up...IF you grow up, start another thread. It will be interesting to see what becomes of you.
Last edited by johnycakes; 07-25-2008 at 01:13 PM..
Reason: removed elements of ad hominem attack
I'm beginning to believe that you are trolling this forum because while I know there are subterranean retards like you out there, I think most of them are too humiliated to show their ugly faces to polite society.
I kinda think it's a troll too.... it's just too unbelievable!!!
my goodness. such hostility. honestly though maybe if you would stop obssesing on the word "troll". i will take your insults seriously. maybe you're the ones needing to expand your vocabulary other than trolls. some posters help me see the light. coz they give me serious analysis of my "dilemma" rather than focus on the trolling insults. i know to choose the best advice given by non troll posters anyway. and i started the thread coz it is not healthy for me. the son(notice the deleted adopted term) of my sis is enjoying my sister's generosity while i try my best to live my life without the hate which i honestly don't want to feel. simple things like he can't even clean his own room even if my sis tells him to **** me off. that's why i said i am worried about how he will treat her esp on his teenage years.
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