Why do White (and now Hispanic) security tend to overact when a Black person simply raises their voice (Part 2) (high school, Austin)
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I was perceived as threatening. I wasn't loud or saying threatening things. The tone of my voice was a bit assertive. I did look upset too. I just didn't know what about my mannerisms was "threatening" or "belligerent". From my perspective, I wasn't particularly friendly, but I was also in a rush too. To me, threatening is making threats, yelling, pounding the fist on the desk. At the time, I had a hard time understanding why. It did leave me scared because I felt like I have to constantly put on a "fake smile" or act "extra sweet". I will let you know my way of doing things. If I am nice and sweet, it comes from the heart, it is something within me. If I am in a bad mood, I don't pretend that everything is all "cheery". Sometimes I'm quiet as a mouse and try not to make eye contact with people.
A very honest and thoughtful comment. You are trying to see things from another's point of view. Very mature and that's where mutual understanding come from. People listening to each other and having enough respect to reach out for common understanding and growth. I really appreciate you.
A very honest and thoughtful comment. You are trying to see things from another's point of view. Very mature and that's where mutual understanding come from. People listening to each other and having enough respect to reach out for common understanding and growth. I really appreciate you.
I'm trying, but it is rather difficult. My big question is would someone have reacted the same way if I wasn't male or Black? What I'm looking for is to be treated the same as everyone else.
Why trying to understand from the other person's point of view, I can't help but feel a sense of fear sometimes. Sometimes I'm just not in a good mood and I feel like I have to fake it sometimes.
I'm trying, but it is rather difficult. My big question is would someone have reacted the same way if I wasn't male or Black? What I'm looking for is to be treated the same as everyone else.
Why trying to understand from the other person's point of view, I can't help but feel a sense of fear sometimes. Sometimes I'm just not in a good mood and I feel like I have to fake it sometimes.
I am white, but very large, have long hair and a beard. I am also a long-time youth baseball coach. Because of my appearance, I have to work extra hard to be viewed as 'normal'. First impressions are tough. I have a subtle calm demeanor which belies my rough appearance.
I am white, but very large, have long hair and a beard. I am also a long-time youth baseball coach. Because of my appearance, I have to work extra hard to be viewed as 'normal'. First impressions are tough. I have a subtle calm demeanor which belies my rough appearance.
I am not trying to take away from what you are saying. With this in mind, this is my take on it.
You have long hair and a beard. You may not want to cut if off, and by no means am I trying to tell you that you should. I am just saying that long hair and a beard can be changed. My race/skin color can't be changed.
I wrote this thread just a couple weeks ago. Long story short, I was yelling at my boyfriend in a nightclub and next thing I know some security guy grabs me by my arm, pulls me away...and then starts literally shoving me towards the exit and then threatens me with an arrest and "You're gonna go to jail". All because I simply repeated (to my boyfriend), "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DISRESPECT ME IN THIS CLUB!" I was trying to bring up a real issue some areas in this country is facing.
Really? Well I'll be damned
I was all the way out in Albuquerque, NM and happened to glance at the NY times at this article about police in Miami, my hometown. I bet in each case, the guy (the suspect) probably did nothing wrong except not say, "yes sir" to each of the interrogating and the cops over-reacted.
Having spent time in your Miami I'm not surprised by your lack of self awareness in the area of self deportment. You just don't get it. Your family and friends don't get it. The people of Overtown don't get it. Try this. Become a people watcher. Notice what actions result in being thrown to the floor. What did that person do before he was escorted out. How were they different from those not bothered by security. One other thing. If you resemble a group of people with a well earned reputation for trouble you would be wise to adopt a lower level of aggression when dealing with security/police. You know where being yourself gets you.
I'm trying, but it is rather difficult. My big question is would someone have reacted the same way if I wasn't male or Black? What I'm looking for is to be treated the same as everyone else.
Why trying to understand from the other person's point of view, I can't help but feel a sense of fear sometimes. Sometimes I'm just not in a good mood and I feel like I have to fake it sometimes.
Well, if you tailor the above question slightly to read "My big question is would THAT PERSON have reacted the same way if I wasn't male or Black?" Sadly, the answer is likely "no".
I applaud you for being conscientious and aware of how you may be perceived by other people. The sorry fact is that you will find irrational people everywhere and in every color.
The bottom line is we fear what we don't understand. My bet is that the person at the payroll office who called the cops doesn't have much experience with black folks. That is, however, no excuse for the overreaction. At the end of the day, it sounds like you are trying to be the best "you" possible. That's all anyone can expect or hope for. Be satisfied with that and shake off the people who don't get it as best you can.
Having spent time in your Miami I'm not surprised by your lack of self awareness in the area of self deportment. You just don't get it. Your family and friends don't get it. The people of Overtown don't get it. Try this. Become a people watcher. Notice what actions result in being thrown to the floor. What did that person do before he was escorted out. How were they different from those not bothered by security. One other thing. If you resemble a group of people with a well earned reputation for trouble you would be wise to adopt a lower level of aggression when dealing with security/police. You know where being yourself gets you.
It seems to me what you are arguing is that sometimes being treated differently based on looking like the persons who often cause trouble is okay.
I beg to differ. And this is why. I know there are those who will say "life isn't fair, get used to it". Part of me is trying to look at it from the other person's point of view. However, it is still hard for me NOT to take it personal. I take it personal because it is happening to me, an individual who isn't a criminal. It will still be hard for me to accept any kind of unfairness, especially when being in this nation is suppose to be about equality and fairness to ALL.
Well, if you tailor the above question slightly to read "My big question is would THAT PERSON have reacted the same way if I wasn't male or Black?" Sadly, the answer is likely "no".
I applaud you for being conscientious and aware of how you may be perceived by other people. The sorry fact is that you will find irrational people everywhere and in every color.
The bottom line is we fear what we don't understand. My bet is that the person at the payroll office who called the cops doesn't have much experience with black folks. That is, however, no excuse for the overreaction. At the end of the day, it sounds like you are trying to be the best "you" possible. That's all anyone can expect or hope for. Be satisfied with that and shake off the people who don't get it as best you can.
I suspect that it could be the case.
Thank you. I am trying. The more I try though, the more afraid I get. It is almost like walking in eggshells in the current society.
I think it might have been an experience with Black men. The was a Black woman there. She wasn't the one who got the police though. She wasn't the first person to see me. It was a White woman who saw me. And I am trying to shake it off and be the best me possible. I am just learning I have to be more vigilant of things.
Thank you. I am trying. The more I try though, the more afraid I get. It is almost like walking in eggshells in the current society.
I think it might have been an experience with Black men. The was a Black woman there. She wasn't the one who got the police though. She wasn't the first person to see me. It was a White woman who saw me. And I am trying to shake it off and be the best me possible. I am just learning I have to be more vigilant of things.
I understand that the "walking on eggshells" bit gets exhausting after a while. The frustration comes from knowing that you shouldn't have to do it. It sucks, but what can ya do?
Stay up. You only have control over how YOU feel and act.
I wrote this thread just a couple weeks ago. Long story short, I was yelling at my boyfriend in a nightclub and next thing I know some security guy grabs me by my arm, pulls me away...and then starts literally shoving me towards the exit and then threatens me with an arrest and "You're gonna go to jail". All because I simply repeated (to my boyfriend), "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DISRESPECT ME IN THIS CLUB!" I was trying to bring up a real issue some areas in this country is facing.
Really? Well I'll be damned
Security is there to make sure trouble is kept to a minimum in order to keep all patrons safe. Who is to say someone is not carrying a weapon?
When someone starts shouting in a club, they have to assess what is happening and the potential to escalate. If someone engages in a shouting match and decides to continue, despite being warned against it, ejection from the premises is not unreasonable.
Being black, white, yellow, brown or purple doesn't get you a free pass to act like a buffoon.
For your reading pleasure:
News:Shots Fired At Club in Florida (http://24hourhiphop.com/hip+hop+News/Shots+Fired+At+Club+in+Florida/1420/ - broken link)
"According to South Florida's CBS 4 News, after Trina arrived at the SynnCity nightclub at around 1 a.m., a fight broke out and a shot was fired. While security guards were removing several people involved in the melee, additional shots were fired outside. Two security guards were shot, as well as five male club goers, ranging in age from 18 to 37."
News:Friend of Fabolous Stabbed To Death (http://24hourhiphop.com/hip+hop+News/Friend+of+Fabolous+Stabbed+To+Death/1974/ - broken link)
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