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So... when you all go out to the movie theatre, is your family one of those groups of black people making loud comments and talking with each other while the movie is playing? Is that the reason for all the chaos at the tables of black families when I go to my favorite cheap Chinese restaurant?
But like om77falcons, I was raised to be quiet and respectful to others while in public. And loud boisterous groups of people are a turnoff to me unless it's a holiday or sports event. Not every occasion calls for being loud.
But your post is why I see that some clashes within our society are more due to culture and less to skin colour. Your family being loud is just how your is and how you like to be. But take a lot of loud boisterous families that happen to be black and in an area where the white and Asian families are more quiet and well behaved, and a racial stereotype is born.
When my family is out in public in a restaurant, we tailor our voices accordingly. If it's a louder venue where there are TVs going, folks are talking and it's a boisterous atmosphere, then we elevate our voices accordingly to be heard. If we're in a quiet establishment, we do the same. I live in an all-Black neighborhood and have never been to an establishment where the folks were so loud that it intruded on my enjoyment of dinner. If that happened, I'm sure the manager would either ask these folks to quiet down or they would have to leave. Again, I've never witnessed this, so I can't comment. BTW, I have no problem with folks laughing a bit loud every once in a while. Where do you people live where there are groups of Black people talking so loudly that their entire conversations can be heard? Are they being obnoxiously loud or are you just nosey?
BTW, interesting that you consider white and Asian families more quiet and "well behaved". Some of the rowdiest folks you'll find is White folks partying it up at Happy Hour.
Oh, and if you base all Black people on your experience with some, that's YOUR hang-up, not mine.
You crack me up. You are in public and think it is cool to be loud and boisterous. I don't enjoy sitting at a table having dinner and barely able to have a conversation due to a loud group sitting nearby. You do realize what being in "public" means as far as being somewhat deferential to others.
And as far as "the loud blacks in movie theaters" stereotype, it is true. I have friends of every persuasion and we all agree about this. It is annoying as hell as we were taught from a very early age not to speak in a movie theater, or at least speak softly. I recall quite a few arguments in theaters between whites and blacks over this.
I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. What sort of establishment allows diners to be so loud to the point where their conversations dampen other diners' enjoyment? Also, being in public is a two-way street. Just as others should use their "inside" voices when dining, diners should also realize that there will be others out enjoying a meal and that can sometimes include folks getting a bit happy and boisterous.
Re: blacks in movie theatres. LOL. Well, again, I live in the Metro DC area and the only time I have trouble hearing what's going on in a movie is if it's a comedy (with folks laughing too long and I don't hear the next punchline). This is usually from the younger crowd and it happens with audiences of all races..this is an age thing more than anything else. By and large, the whole movie thing is EXTREMELY exaggerated. I'd venture that you could not count on one hand the amount of times "the loud Blacks" talked throughout a movie. Sorry, I just don't buy it. BTW, I find the young White kids who are giggling, putting their feet up on the seats and whispering to each other about how cute such-and-such is to be extremely irritating as well. I guess by your definition "the obnoxious whites in movie theatres" is also true.
I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. What sort of establishment allows diners to be so loud to the point where their conversations dampen other diners' enjoyment? Also, being in public is a two-way street. Just as others should use their "inside" voices when dining, diners should also realize that there will be others out enjoying a meal and that can sometimes include folks getting a bit happy and boisterous.
Re: blacks in movie theatres. LOL. Well, again, I live in the Metro DC area and the only time I have trouble hearing what's going on in a movie is if it's a comedy (with folks laughing too long and I don't hear the next punchline). This is usually from the younger crowd and it happens with audiences of all races..this is an age thing more than anything else. By and large, the whole movie thing is EXTREMELY exaggerated. I'd venture that you could not count on one hand the amount of times "the loud Blacks" talked throughout a movie. Sorry, I just don't buy it. BTW, I find the young White kids who are giggling, putting their feet up on the seats and whispering to each other about how cute such-and-such is to be extremely irritating as well. I guess by your definition "the obnoxious whites in movie theatres" is also true.
I never thought of it this way. I have been to an establishment that was primarily Black(most of the staff was African-American). It was the Cheesecake Factory in Atlanta. Alot of African-Americans and no rude or loud behavior to speak of. I live in the suburbs, so some of my experiences are different. In fact, I see more loudness and rude behavior in sports bars. I have never seen loud behavior in movie theatres. Maybe it's because I have only been to the movie theatre maybe 3 or 4 times in my life.
Actually, when I think about it, alot of the loud, rude behavior that is described to be in these places, I don't see it. Maybe it depends on where I hang out. Majority of the loud behavior I see on a daily basis is at school. I rarely see it in public unless it's at clubs or sports bars.
I never thought of it this way. I have been to an establishment that was primarily Black(most of the staff was African-American). It was the Cheesecake Factory in Atlanta. Alot of African-Americans and no rude or loud behavior to speak of. I live in the suburbs, so some of my experiences are different. In fact, I see more loudness and rude behavior in sports bars. I have never seen loud behavior in movie theatres. Maybe it's because I have only been to the movie theatre maybe 3 or 4 times in my life.
Actually, when I think about it, alot of the loud, rude behavior that is described to be in these places, I don't see it. Maybe it depends on where I hang out. Majority of the loud behavior I see on a daily basis is at school. I rarely see it in public unless it's at clubs or sports bars.
You are correct. These people claiming to be surrounded by loud Blacks at restaurants, movies, churches, funerals, weddings, baptisms, etc, etc are either lying or grossly exaggerating. Interesting how White people have more experience with this, when I grew up and still live in an area where Blacks are the majority.
Like you said, the loudness is most often coming from the younger set. It's an age thing, not a race thing.
You are correct. These people claiming to be surrounded by loud Blacks at restaurants, movies, churches, funerals, weddings, baptisms, etc, etc are either lying or grossly exaggerating. Interesting how White people have more experience with this, when I grew up and still live in an area where Blacks are the majority.
Like you said, the loudness is most often coming from the younger set. It's an age thing, not a race thing.
I didn't grow up where African-Americans made up the majority, but I have been to places where most of the people there were African-Americans. When I was at church as a teenager, loud, obnoxious behavior was the stark exception. It is comical, and yet, sad, that some people make comments about Black people acting loud and rude in places such as movie theatres. My thing is this, if such things are happening, then they aren't happening where we often go. I am not saying it doesn't happen. I am saying that wherever it is, I haven't been there to see it.
And age is a factor. The loudest and rudest persons I tend to see are around the ages of 18-25(my age range basically). And this crosses all races and ethnic groups.
You are correct. These people claiming to be surrounded by loud Blacks at restaurants, movies, churches, funerals, weddings, baptisms, etc, etc are either lying or grossly exaggerating. Interesting how White people have more experience with this, when I grew up and still live in an area where Blacks are the majority.
That is interesting, isn't it? Like you I've been black my whole life and my family is extremely loud but we're also cognizant of place and time and we govern ourselves accordingly.
That is interesting, isn't it? Like you I've been black my whole life and my family is extremely loud but we're also cognizant of place and time and we govern ourselves accordingly.
I have had some time to think about some of my own incidents over the past week. I think I mentioned the payroll incident. I will admit, sometimes my own mannerisms can give people the wrong impression. I rarely smile. However, sometimes it depends on my mood. If I'm rushed, I can come off as rude or brash. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just on a mission, and sometimes I get tunnel vision and can see nothing else but that. If I'm in a bad mood, or if I am upset, I do find it rather difficult to hold it in.
Looking at this from the perspective of some office workers, this can come off as rude, abrasive, but I never expected to be described as "belligerent". I guess some people take rude and abrasive as belligerent. To some office workers, being rushed and visibly frustrated can be perceived as rude and unfriendly. Rude and unfriendly is seen as belligerent.
Looking at it from MY perspective, sometimes I don't see myself as belligerent because I am not yelling, threatening people or saying belligerent things. I am just frustrated, assertive, and sometimes demanding.
Maybe the office workers were scared by my demeanor. I just wondered why would someone need to call the police if I'm not breaking any laws or being loud or violent.
I have had some time to think about some of my own incidents over the past week. I think I mentioned the payroll incident. I will admit, sometimes my own mannerisms can give people the wrong impression. I rarely smile. However, sometimes it depends on my mood. If I'm rushed, I can come off as rude or brash. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just on a mission, and sometimes I get tunnel vision and can see nothing else but that. If I'm in a bad mood, or if I am upset, I do find it rather difficult to hold it in.
Looking at this from the perspective of some office workers, this can come off as rude, abrasive, but I never expected to be described as "belligerent". I guess some people take rude and abrasive as belligerent. To some office workers, being rushed and visibly frustrated can be perceived as rude and unfriendly. Rude and unfriendly is seen as belligerent.
Looking at it from MY perspective, sometimes I don't see myself as belligerent because I am not yelling, threatening people or saying belligerent things. I am just frustrated, assertive, and sometimes demanding.
Maybe the office workers were scared by my demeanor. I just wondered why would someone need to call the police if I'm not breaking any laws or being loud or violent.
I worked in an office environment many years. Because everyone is cramped and cramed together, people tend to talk in deferential terms, and loudness is kept to a minimum, to keep the peace.
Personal space is limited, and most just try to stay on an even keel. You may not be aware of how you are affecting others. You are probably percieved as a threat, by your mannerisms and manual gesticulations. Now-a-days people are probably balancing 4-5 things at a time, and you are appearing as a threat.
I worked in an office environment many years. Because everyone is cramped and cramed together, people tend to talk in deferential terms, and loudness is kept to a minimum, to keep the peace.
Personal space is limited, and most just try to stay on an even keel. You may not be aware of how you are affecting others. You are probably percieved as a threat, by your mannerisms and manual gesticulations. Now-a-days people are probably balancing 4-5 things at a time, and you are appearing as a threat.
I was perceived as threatening. I wasn't loud or saying threatening things. The tone of my voice was a bit assertive. I did look upset too. I just didn't know what about my mannerisms was "threatening" or "belligerent". From my perspective, I wasn't particularly friendly, but I was also in a rush too. To me, threatening is making threats, yelling, pounding the fist on the desk. At the time, I had a hard time understanding why. It did leave me scared because I felt like I have to constantly put on a "fake smile" or act "extra sweet". I will let you know my way of doing things. If I am nice and sweet, it comes from the heart, it is something within me. If I am in a bad mood, I don't pretend that everything is all "cheery". Sometimes I'm quiet as a mouse and try not to make eye contact with people.
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Some of the rowdiest folks you'll find is White folks partying it up at Happy Hour. 
