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Just curious..why would loud people make you aggressive? Especially if the loudness is from them having fun; are you an only child?
No, I have a brother. I don't know, but when people in my vicinity talk loud my mind automatically switches to alert mode. It may also have to do with the fact that where I come from people pretty much only talk loud when they are drunk I avoid drunk people, too, probably for the same reason.
Because usually the problem escalates to someone getting killed and no club owner wants any part of that to ruin business.
What is this thing with blacks and "respect/disrespect"??? You don't get respect, you EARN it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChocLot
I'm Black and I don't demand respect....your statement is inaccurate. Please don't stereotype all based on some.
Choclot - I agree with kevinm. In the majority of blacks that I have encountered, and mostly black women, they do seem to have an obsession with being respected. It seems to be very important that they are shown deference in public. Anytime time that their actions or opinions are questioned, they take it as a sign of disrespect. And maybe if they are a single mother/baby momma, if they can't get the father of their children to marry them, then they feel the need to make sure that everyone else is showing respect to them, despite their unmarried status.
And not only is this something that I have witnessed in person countless times in my lifetime, but also with black women in the media. And Star Jones and Dionne Warwick fit this stereotype perfectly episode after episode on Celebrity Apprentice.
And consider that whole fiasco with Professor Gates was set off by the professor overreacting to the police checking up on a 911 call of a possible breakin to his house. And I noticed that Gates never apologized for his poor behaviour.
Now, I accept that you don't fit the stereotype of the angry black person demanding respect. And I know a few black women and men who don't. But you are very much in the minority not the majority, and based on my (and others) personal observations.
Maybe they exaggerate now because blacks have been treated like animals in the past
Dionne Warwick, I always have to think of horses when I see her, oops, that was not very respectful, sorry
Unless you can post footage of the incident, it's hard to take sides in this matter. And since YOU have decided that this is a race issue, or maybe a black woman problem, I will say that the majority of times that I have seen black women get agitated and mad, they are particularly aggressive in their body language. Not only do they raise keep raising their voice level (as if by sheer loudness they can make their opinion right and the other side wrong), but they raise their forefinger and stick in in their opponent's face and then do the neck thing.
But based on your personal experiences, I really don't see how you can make your situation a race issue. But have you been in situations where you were fighting with your boyfriend and black security guards ignored the situation and looked the other way? If they did, then I would say that those black security guards were not doing their job. And if you fight with your boyfriend a lot in public, then stop doing that.
I believe that ANY woman or man of any race that is fighting in public in an emotional fashion with a loud voice and wild physical gestures is going to be restrained and removed by security personnel. Other people who aren't involved in the disagreement just don't want to see this sort of thing, let alone in a nightclub where they are trying to have a good time.
Why couldn't you wait to fight with your boyfriend in private? Were you also trying to embarrass him? Did you need witnesses around in case he got mad back and tried to hit you? Were you trying to send a message to other women that he was your boyfriend and your personal property? Whatever the reasons, don't fight in public and you won't have any issues with security guards.
FYI the OP is a man who has posted this same topic previously about chasing some guy around a club who didn't want to be with him. What does that have to do with Black women?
Choclot - I agree with kevinm. In the majority of blacks that I have encountered, and mostly black women, they do seem to have an obsession with being respected. It seems to be very important that they are shown deference in public. Anytime time that their actions or opinions are questioned, they take it as a sign of disrespect. And maybe if they are a single mother/baby momma, if they can't get the father of their children to marry them, then they feel the need to make sure that everyone else is showing respect to them, despite their unmarried status.
And not only is this something that I have witnessed in person countless times in my lifetime, but also with black women in the media. And Star Jones and Dionne Warwick fit this stereotype perfectly episode after episode on Celebrity Apprentice.
And consider that whole fiasco with Professor Gates was set off by the professor overreacting to the police checking up on a 911 call of a possible breakin to his house. And I noticed that Gates never apologized for his poor behaviour.
Now, I accept that you don't fit the stereotype of the angry black person demanding respect. And I know a few black women and men who don't. But you are very much in the minority not the majority, and based on my (and others) personal observations.
Stereotypes are a two-way street.
As an Asian woman, how would you feel if everyone assumed that all Asian women were either a shrill dragon lady or an oversexed GI-chasing geisha girl without even knowing anything about you.
Because usually the problem escalates to someone getting killed and no club owner wants any part of that to ruin business.
What is this thing with blacks and "respect/disrespect"??? You don't get respect, you EARN it.
Again, I believe that the OP's experience regarding this incident was not racial in nature but is all about hurt pride when his date/boyfriend basically dumped him for another man at the club. (I wish that his previous thread about this hadn't been deleted because he outlined what happened in much greater detail). The fact that his lover/date/boyfriend was not Black probably just added to the dynamics but it was clearly a case where the OP should have just walked away and accepted that this guy just didn't want to be with him.
And as far as "Blacks" and "demanding respect", it boils down to being treated as 2nd class citizens regardless of one's personal behavior. It becomes exhausting to have to encounter people who are disrespectful to you not because what you personally have done but because of how they perceive you will be. Its like a faithfully married guy whose wife accuses him of cheating every single day of his life no matter what he says or does she continues to brand him as a "cheater".
Has this created chips on the shoulder? For some, of course. Most Black people (even billionaire Oprah Winfrey) have encountered "overt racist incidents" but its so imporant to not allow that bitterness to seed and consume.
As an Asian woman, how would you feel if everyone assumed that all Asian women were either a shrill dragon lady or an oversexed GI-chasing geisha girl without even knowing anything about you.
She picks and chooses when she is Asian; haven't you read the drivel she posts on here degrading the men and women of her own (alleged) race?
If one demographic represents 80% of the population and 99% of your customers who would you figure you'd have the most iussues with?
You make a good point but over a period of 15 years I've dealt with enough white and black customers to form some (pretty accurate IMO) opinions but like I said, there are always exceptions.
One thing I will say is that the worst bar patron is without a doubt the white trailer park Emienem wannabe. I won't use the more common word used to describe these types but they are the worst. Almost without exception they are right in the middle of any fight or ruckus. It might not be fair but if a white kid in a sideways straight billed hat with saggy jeans, an Ed Hardy Tee that talked like "wassup sheeeeeeet man ehy son bleeeeeeeeeve dat" came into a bar I worked at and he so much as looked at someone wrong I was tossing him.
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I avoid drunk people, too, probably for the same reason.
