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See I just think you're wrong here. At 18 I lived 1000 miles from home (heck I went to school and lived in an apartment by myself in Europe when I was 17 and it was the 90s so not a million years ago) was a straight A college student, had a job, and needed my parents only for occasional advice. My husband was the same. At 18 you can fight and die for our country, own property, get married, you shouldn't need your mommy and daddy around monitoring you.
This seems to be a reoccuring theme tonight.
That is great, and more power to your husband and you, but that experience does not remotely mean all 18yos are or even can be as mature as that. Maturity is a function of individual development, and many, many people do not reach that final stage of development until well beyond 18. My own brother was not mature enough to go off to college at 18, and at least he was mature enough to realize that. There was nothing wrong with him, he just was, in almost all ways, the classic "late bloomer". Parenting him based on his age instead of his individual needs would be doing him a real disservice.
And it is interesting that you bring up the military. They use GPS to keep track of their soldiers, for their own safety, does that mean they are infantilizing them?
See I just think you're wrong here. At 18 I lived 1000 miles from home (heck I went to school and lived in an apartment by myself in Europe when I was 17 and it was the 90s so not a million years ago) was a straight A college student, had a job, and needed my parents only for occasional advice. My husband was the same. At 18 you can fight and die for our country, own property, get married, you shouldn't need your mommy and daddy around monitoring you.
And at age 18, if you're really at all mature, you would be working and paying for your own cell phone service not expecting mommy and daddy still do it. If an adult is truly independent and living on his/her own and paying his/her own way on everything it's a non-issue because the parent can't control the cell phone.
I never did that but my children never had electronics when they were teenagers and I picked them up and dropped them off or stayed with them depending on the situation.
While I do understand and generally agree with the concept of expectations I think many, many parents are completely out of touch with what their children do.
I had a student who is good friends with my child (they met at a summer internship) and I know the student's mother fairly well. She has absolutely no idea of the parties her daughter is going to. Her daughter is a good kid who is not coming home stumbling drunk every night but the mother thinks she is going to parties where there are adults present, where the party is supposed to be at someone's house but is really at a parentless vacation home. The student's mother even found beer in her bedroom and assumed it was left their by a cousin from two summers before.
I agree that there are parents who are totally out of touch with what their kids do. I know quite a few like that.
And at age 18, if you're really at all mature, you would be working and paying for your own cell phone service not expecting mommy and daddy still do it. If an adult is truly independent and living on his/her own and paying his/her own way on everything it's a non-issue because the parent can't control the cell phone.
Whether a person pays for their own cell phone is not what determines whether that person is an adult.
Chiming in really late but if these are the "strings" attached to having a cell phone, so be it. If the kids don't like it, refuse the phone. It's that simple. When the kid leaves the home or works and is able to pay for his own phone (if permitted while still home) then of course this thread is ridiculous. But if kid is at home and no matter what age, the OP is perfectly fine to offer the cellphone with any strings he may attached.
Last edited by momtothree; 11-21-2013 at 06:05 AM..
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