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why do they have to help out? Why do they have to pay for their mistake?
Where did I say anything about "they have to help out?". I said they have the option of asking them. Boy, am I glad this forum has a facepalm option.
Who knows? I'm sure some of the relatives are very happy to find out that their niece/nephew/relative has just had a baby, and want to be a part of the child's life, and would be more than willing to help out in some way (whether it be financially, or otherwise). Who knows? Maybe they can even adopt the baby until the parents can get on their feet.
I'm just making sure the OP is aware of that option.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMichele
Keep dreaming. Being pregnant is NOT an extreme emergency.
No, but it is a special circumstance. Is there a chance that one of the professors might not give in? Sure, but it's highly unlikely. What's she supposed to do? Have the baby in the classroom?
Thats really not the case though. Its been a topic for pub policy research for many years. Factors include the income level of the siblings, age, race, education etc.
Especially the first article; it's a vicious cycle that manifests itself which is why its a hot research topic (how to intervene in these younger siblings lives). Oldest teen gets pregnant, mom spends lots of time trying to "normalize" the situation by offering babysitting, money, housing etc. Younger sibling may see but doesn't comprehend the challenges of raising children but is cognizant of additional attention (negative or positive) and proceeds as such.
There are many factors --- a middle class family that doesn't accept the welfare lifestyle will certainly be different than those single mother households that view having children young and out of wedlock as normal.
There is a difference if you notice in those who might suggest having the daughter quit school, never even give marriage a thought, go down to the welfare office and plan to never have to work for a living for the rest of her life versus those who would encourage her to marry the father so they can both provide support and care for their child and emphasize the need for them both to work and even try to stay in school so they can earn enough to have a decent life.
I'm not against marriage for that reason. It's one of the best ways for a father to stay very involved with his child, without welfare handouts it's MUCH harder for a single young mother to raise a child than it is for a married young mother to raise a child.
I would never suggest letting the mother stay in your home if she's not going to be working and paying her own bills. My first choice would be marriage and both parents be responsible. The living at home would only be to help get them on their feet, not to keep them from getting on their feet, mainly so they can finish their education and work fewer hours so they can get it done and get into better jobs faster -- but they'd have to show me their plan.
But sure if kids see their own mother on food stamps and in government housing, and see their older siblings get pregnant to get on food stamps and in government housing, they will get the idea that this is normal and fine and that the way to get the government goodies is to simply have a baby. That is true.
Teenage relationships rarely last a lifetime. She and the baby daddy are bound to be over very soon at least statistically speaking, then what do they have to do?
But that can be said at almost any age. No matter when you have children, you don't know if you are going to be with the father for the rest of the child's life. I have a friend who is in his late 20s and him and his (ex)wife decided to have a child soon after they got married. The child isn't even a year old yet and they've already filled for divorce. I had another friend who got pregnant when she was 26, and that marriage was over by the time the baby was born.
I found her an apartment literally right next to her job. Ironically, she was the receptionist for the local Catholic diocese. You'd think she'd be looked down on because she was an unwed mother - but the exact opposite thing happened! Those nuns and priests and laypeople couldn't do enough for her - they spoiled her ROTTEN. I never saw so much petting on one person!
That's fortunate for her. My sister lost her job with her church as a preschool teacher for fear she would be a bad influence. She still attends that church! It's bizarre.
That's fortunate for her. My sister lost her job with her church as a preschool teacher for fear she would be a bad influence. She still attends that church! It's bizarre.
That's fortunate for her. My sister lost her job with her church as a preschool teacher for fear she would be a bad influence. She still attends that church! It's bizarre.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
Our diocese really rallied around my daughter - but then, they also have a very active ministry for unwed mothers as well as for low income families. So it was a terrific experience. When she went into labor, those nuns and priests and the office staff were standing by the phone on high alert! They showered her with love and food and little presents. It was very touching.
And when word got out in the diocese that she was a young, unwed mother, the adoption offers started pouring in. I actually became alarmed, because for a little while, she was seriously considering giving the baby up for adoption, which I would have supported but it would have absolutely broken my heart.
That's fortunate for her. My sister lost her job with her church as a preschool teacher for fear she would be a bad influence. She still attends that church! It's bizarre.
I am speaking with them after dinner. I will let you know how it goes.
Please keep fingers crossed for me that I find they want to be responsible for this baby.
My fingers are crossed. I hope it goes well. You're in my thoughts.
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