How to deal with a pregnant teen (baby, pregnancy, parent)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
JMHO, but I wouldn't deny the father the chance to see his daughter born if that's what he wants to do. It is his child too. In some things BOTH sides need to put aside their differences for the sake of a child. That particular moment is bigger than both of them, and it will never come again.
JMHO, but I wouldn't deny the father the chance to see his daughter born if that's what he wants to do. It is his child too. In some things BOTH sides need to put aside their differences for the sake of a child. That particular moment is bigger than both of them, and it will never come again.
Childbirth is just about the most vulnerable moment possible for a woman - in pain, naked, legs splayed apart. I can completely understand a woman's desire to only have present supportive people whom SHE wants with her at that time, and this kid has really been an unsupportive jerk. Seeing the actual moment of birth of a baby is not the essence of fatherhood. He can meet the baby in the nursery when the baby is being examined and given her first bath. It's her choice. She should NOT feel that she has to have him in the room for the delivery, even if she told him he could be there. She can change her mind right up to the last minute. It's HER choice.
JMHO, but I wouldn't deny the father the chance to see his daughter born if that's what he wants to do. It is his child too. In some things BOTH sides need to put aside their differences for the sake of a child. That particular moment is bigger than both of them, and it will never come again.
He already is going to be there.
I do think it's unreasonable that in case there's a C-sec (in this case, it's likely to either be a last resort or emergency) that the father can still demand to be there against the mother's wish; it's already going to be a frayed situation by that point, he doesn't need to add into it.
Of course you're excited! And well you should be. This is your first grandchild. Silver lining of this is that you get tons of access to the baby. Any day now she'll be here.
Who does your daughter plan to have with her during the labor to help her? My husband was a great help to me, although I squeezed the poor guy's hands so hard that he winced. If I couldn't have had my husband, I would have wanted my mother. In fact, now that I think of it, my mother was there in the room when I delivered my first. I don't think that your daughter is going to want the FOB there while she's laboring - to say it mildly, I don't think she would find his presence comforting.
Epidurals are great. Highly recommended.
I was high risk since it happened right after my accident. From week 26 on I had non stress tests every week and u/s every two. I also consulted with the neonatologist and anesthesiologist beforehand. I was induced at 38 weeks because I failed a NST twice in a row. I was expecting to go home but they kept me and induced. (Didnt listen to my mom and pack a bag beforehand, I assumed I'd go to 40+ weeks).
I was given cervidel to soften my cervix Sunday night. Pitocin was started Monday morning at 7 AM. I got the epidural at 9 AM because of the spine damage I already had, they didn't want to risk anything. Basically I ended up with a 50 hour labor and gave birth Tuesday two min before Wednesday. I was stuck at 4 CM forever. They did every trick in the book. Including a balloon catheter inserted into my cervix and weighted down with an IV saline bag. Tuesday around 3 PM they were talking about a c section if things didnt progress further but when they checked at 6 PM I had finally gotten to 6 CM. From there it went pretty fast.
When she was born she was blue and had an apgar of 3. No crying, no anything. The cord was so tightly wrapped around her neck it cut off her oxygen supply. While pushing they kept telling me to "tAke a break" but I didn't. Call it a mothers intuition but I felt I needed to get her out and fast. God only knows what would have happened if I took that break. They called a code and every doctor and nurse crowded the room. I had no idea what was going on. Scary is not even close to describing it. She was rescusitated and taken to the NICU where she stayed for six days. She developed jaundice too, but luckily there was no permenant damage from the oxygen deprivation. I cried my eyes out because my aunt (very pushy, gossipy woman) showed up saying she was family and got to see her and hold her before me. That hurt me so much.
Every labor is different and I hope all goes well. The best advice afterwards I got was to try and let it go. She was healthy and that's all I could ask for. Another piece of advice, a nurse showed me then "water bottle trick". I tore pretty bad and going to the bathroom stung and it hurt to wipe. So she showed me how to get a squirt bottle, fill with warm water, and use that after going. It felt like heaven lol it also kept my stitches clean and not infected.
A word about people in the room. The same aunt showed up during my labor. I didn't want anyone other than my mom and my daughters father. The limit was two people anyway. She snuck in and was saying how she had beer in the car and just making a scene. The nurse looked at me and I gave her a "look" and she kicked her out and did the dirty work for me.
Childbirth is just about the most vulnerable moment possible for a woman - in pain, naked, legs splayed apart. I can completely understand a woman's desire to only have present supportive people whom SHE wants with her at that time, and this kid has really been an unsupportive jerk. Seeing the actual moment of birth of a baby is not the essence of fatherhood. He can meet the baby in the nursery when the baby is being examined and given her first bath. It's her choice. She should NOT feel that she has to have him in the room for the delivery, even if she told him he could be there. She can change her mind right up to the last minute. It's HER choice.
I didn't say it wasn't her choice.
I've had a baby. I understand the process. It doesn't change the fact that it's his child being born too. I wouldn't hold a kid's immaturity against him when it comes to such a momentous occasion. And you don't know what effect it could have on him, it could be a profoundly positive experience that could bond him to the child as he should be. Which is potentially bebeficial to the CHILD. The baby had two parents.
This is where putting the child's interests over yours really starts to be a matter of reality.
She does want him there just not if it's a c section. She said she wouldn't have him there if she were having any other surgery so not in the room if she's being cut open. She's going to be afraid she said and only wants me there. Her choice and hopefully it doesn't happen that way and both of them can be happy.
We just lost my father in law not even three months ago and today is his birthday. It would be good if she came today but not before around 6:00. Lol!! I had to bring my other two for SATs this morning 45 minutes and have to go back for them and then they have the quarter finals county softball game immediately after for their high school. That's another 45 minutes past where they're taking the test.
Both of them forgot calculators at school and had to try and find people to borrow from at 6:30 this morning!! Wake people up and have them put the calculator outside for us to run around and pick up. Unreal! That's how my day began. I make a ritual of taking my kids to breakfast the morning of SATs and sending them off like that. Homemade pancakes it was though today. No time for the diner whilst needing to hunt down calculators. I'm exhausted already!!!
Hopefully the baby just hangs in there through the daylight hours today and then she's free to arrive whenever she's like
I guess I don't understand why the type of birth would determine if the father is in the room or not. I've had 2 c-sections. It is still the birth of his child.
She does want him there just not if it's a c section. She said she wouldn't have him there if she were having any other surgery so not in the room if she's being cut open. She's going to be afraid she said and only wants me there. Her choice and hopefully it doesn't happen that way and both of them can be happy.
We just lost my father in law not even three months ago and today is his birthday. It would be good if she came today but not before around 6:00. Lol!! I had to bring my other two for SATs this morning 45 minutes and have to go back for them and then they have the quarter finals county softball game immediately after for their high school. That's another 45 minutes past where they're taking the test.
Both of them forgot calculators at school and had to try and find people to borrow from at 6:30 this morning!! Wake people up and have them put the calculator outside for us to run around and pick up. Unreal! That's how my day began. I make a ritual of taking my kids to breakfast the morning of SATs and sending them off like that. Homemade pancakes it was though today. No time for the diner whilst needing to hunt down calculators. I'm exhausted already!!!
Hopefully the baby just hangs in there through the daylight hours today and then she's free to arrive whenever she's like
Wow! What a hectic day! Good luck to you and your entire family.
I will add my two cents on C-sections. I can't compare them to a traditional labor and delivery as both of my children were delivered by C-sections. My first delivery was an emergency and there was not time for my husband to be present. He was present for our second child and it went well. He stood by the head of the bed, held my hand and could not see the actual surgery due to a large drape of linens going perhaps two or two and half feet above the bed blocking his view.
He could see the doctor lifting the baby up and hear it's first cry. He was able to hold the baby first as I still needed to be strapped down to the bed (to keep me still and unmoving during the C-section).
Whatever your daughter decides to do is her business. But, she shouldn't think of a C-section (if she has one) as having major surgery with a audience it really is just another way to have a baby. It is also possible that the hospital may have a limit to how many extra people can be in the room during a C-section which may be a factor of who is included.
Again, good luck to your daughter, her baby and everyone else in your family.
I know we're talking about scheduled c-section, but emergency c-sections are different, at least it was for me. Nobody was allowed in the operating room for my emergency c-section. If the OP's daughter is induced, an emergency c-section is possible because there's an increased chance of fetal distress with induced labor. That's why I needed one.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
