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For the “I want to encourage her to visit my elderly relative”: I would never ever ask her to come check on my relative (or do anything for us). She was kind enough to visit my relative, and I just want her to know that we are grateful for her and for who she is. I figure that if she received only silence in response to her visiting my relative, she wouldn’t go back. But if she understands that we like and appreciate her, hopefully that’ll encourage her to come back.
I don’t know her phone number and it would be strange for me to call her randomly. How about if I leave a bouquet of flowers and a card for her, maybe in her front porch or garage entrance, and don’t even knock?
Have the flowers sent from a florist. The florist can deliver the flowers with a card that expresses your sentiments. "Sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you."
Dropping off flowers and then running away just seems very childish.
I hate drop-ins. Maybe I'm cleaning my oven. Maybe I'm coloring my hair. Maybe I'm sitting in the den watching a sad movie and crying. The person at the door can hear me inside the house. It's very awkward to not answer the doorbell when the person outside knows you are home and choosing to ignore them.
Always call or text to ask if it's convenient for you to visit at that time.
It seems like dropping by is a no-win situation (even though the family friend dropped by unannounced to my elderly relative’s house, which was fine, and people seem to drop by unannounced all the time to visit my elderly relative, which is fine, and I don’t have the family friend’s phone number).
Again: if she's a family friend, presumably she's closer to someone else in your family than you. Surely that person/those people would be able to advise you what to do, and give you her phone number.
Have the flowers sent from a florist. The florist can deliver the flowers with a card that expresses your sentiments. "Sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you."
Dropping off flowers and then running away just seems very childish.
I hate drop-ins. Maybe I'm cleaning my oven. Maybe I'm coloring my hair. Maybe I'm sitting in the den watching a sad movie and crying. The person at the door can hear me inside the house. It's very awkward to not answer the doorbell when the person outside knows you are home and choosing to ignore them.
Always call or text to ask if it's convenient for you to visit at that time.
Creepy too. I agree, send the flowers and message through a florist. Good idea.
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Since she went to visit your relative Im assuming shes able to get out and about. I would send her a card with a nice handwritten note. Include a gift card to someplace close to her. With a token amount equivalent to a nice bunch of flowers. If you think she might take your relative out with her, then increase the amount on the card.
But dont make the amount too large. Its creepy when people you dont know go overboard. I start wondering if they have an agenda.
I like your original plan. Obviously this lady isn't in the "you don't stop by and surprise someone" camp because she took that same approach with your family member. That was more common for that generation. That human connection even for a couple of minutes may make her feel less alone in the world.
Send a card with a simple message inside, & include a personal note that is legible. Include your phone # & encourage her to call, letting her know that you don't have her phone #. Include a message that if she needs anything, to call & mean that sincerely. No flowers, plant, gift or gift card.
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