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No it wasn't a last minute change! (What thread are u on anyway?)
The time was the same, just delayed one day bc of severe weather. We postponed it one day, for the same time the 26th, so my inlaws wouldn't have to drive in inclement weather.
So, she actually had a whole extra day to plan & be there on time.
Okay, so it wasn't "last minute", but it was postponed. I doubt you knew of the inclement weather weeks in advance, so the Christmas dinner was probably changed with short notice.
But since this wasn't the reason why she was late, then what was the reason she gave? You said she was in communication with her dad, so it would seem she gave some advanced reason as to why she would be late. I doubt it was because she was swinging by Taco Bell to pick something up.
I feel like you just like to argue.
It may not be food that you like, but its still food. And there was an established reason. The step daughter knew there would be no food for her to eat, so instead of whining and complaining, she simply brought her own food.
Now this is the kind of revisionism I don't understand. People complain about the OP seeming to change the story, but isn't that what you just did?
The OP clearly said that besides the ham, there were at least ten other dishes. The girl doesn't like ham. How do you therefore make a leap that "there would be no food for her to eat"?
If you bring food, you bring it share. How did this girl get through college not knowing that?
It may not be food that you like, but its still food. And there was an established reason. The step daughter knew there would be no food for her to eat, so instead of whining and complaining, she simply brought her own food.
I'm sure if she came without food, but didn't eat any of the food the OP would have been just as "dissed" and still complained about what a monster her step daughter is.
It's a fact the SD is a monster. If she came and didn't eat anything that might prompt a "why not" in which case the OP n SD could have a conversation about what foods she does or doesn't like. There were, according to the OP, several dishes served and only 1 SD didn't like. You don't have to have meat with every meal, there was plenty for her to eat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
I'm going by the OP's original posts, where she said there WAS a shortage of chairs. There were only enough chairs for everyone before the step daughter and finance arrived. And where the OP said the step daughter sat at an available chair.
I understood that to mean "only available chair AT THE TABLE" and that was OP's chair. There were 2 others just not at the table. SD can't see that there is 2 open spots over there and 1 at the table then put that together?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
Yet, no one else was offended. Only the OP, who already seems to have a grudge against this girl.
They laughed it off so who knows. Maybe none of them want to confront this little brat? This simply wouldn't be tolerated in our home.
Last edited by katjonjj; 12-28-2015 at 05:16 PM..
Reason: removed tags
I'll just say this: it's very hard being a stepmother. No one ever dreams of being a stepmother, especially to teens. I don't know about boys but teen aged girls (or a little older in this case) can be a handful. Ugly little thoughts can be percolating in those pretty little heads.
Ex-wives can be snarky or they could have been poor parents or spouses. They can say poisonous things and influence their children in negative ways.
Dad/husbands are often passive and unable or unwilling to set a stage where everyone can adapt to a blended family. Their guilt leaves stepmom to try to pick up the pieces or otherwise deal with situations. No fun to feel unsupported by your husband.
If the stepchildren have had poor parenting, which is often the case when a marriage falls apart, the last thing they learn is good manners. When stepmom comes in expecting a certain standard of behavior, things can really get heated. Some of those kids will do anything to embarrass them, or make them unhappy or angry, e.g. Taco Bell.
Stepmothers themselves can have other stressors: work, their own children, their parents, etc. All of this coming together makes it hard to laugh off the disses and digs that those special little Taco Belles bring into our lives, without warning, into a setting that was supposed to be about family and holiday cheer.
Sometimes when my own special little Taco Belles try to diss me, I just look at them and smile while thinking, "May you be a stepmother someday!"
I do believe that being a step parent would be very challenging but being a step child also comes with it's own set of challenges. Neither role is easy.
I'll just say this: it's very hard being a stepmother. No one ever dreams of being a stepmother, especially to teens. I don't know about boys but teen aged girls (or a little older in this case) can be a handful. Ugly little thoughts can be percolating in those pretty little heads.
Ex-wives can be snarky or they could have been poor parents or spouses. They can say poisonous things and influence their children in negative ways.
Dad/husbands are often passive and unable or unwilling to set a stage where everyone can adapt to a blended family. Their guilt leaves stepmom to try to pick up the pieces or otherwise deal with situations. No fun to feel unsupported by your husband.
If the stepchildren have had poor parenting, which is often the case when a marriage falls apart, the last thing they learn is good manners. When stepmom comes in expecting a certain standard of behavior, things can really get heated. Some of those kids will do anything to embarrass them, or make them unhappy or angry, e.g. Taco Bell.
Stepmothers themselves can have other stressors: work, their own children, their parents, etc. All of this coming together makes it hard to laugh off the disses and digs that those special little Taco Belles bring into our lives, without warning, into a setting that was supposed to be about family and holiday cheer.
Sometimes when my own special little Taco Belles try to diss me, I just look at them and smile while thinking, "May you be a stepmother someday!"
Interesting that you point out that step children can be "ugly", exes can be "snarky" and husbands can be "passive"....but stepmother can have "other stressors". ALL players can display less than stellar behaviors and ALL players have their share of "other stressors".
Did you bother to answer that question? Some people misunderstood from the beginning saying "get more chairs, have more seats, use the dining room" etc. right from the start. It was clear to me from the OP that there were enough seats. (and yes I did read the whole entire thread LOL) and it was also clear the the SD was rude and obnoxious.
But there weren't enough chairs. The OP even said in post #5:
"And we did have enough seats until she & her fiancé arrived."
And in post #59:
"I figured someone would be done eating and seats would free up before they arrived."
Quote:
If that was my SD (it wouldn't have happened, just saying) but I would not have reacted the way OP did. I would take her and her bag of "food" aside and tell her to take it to the car or throw it away. Saying "We are eating the dinner prepared by your grandmother and me. Oh and also, your seat is over THERE."
This whole thread has neglected the father of the lovely stepdaughter. What did he say, and what does he think about the whole thing?
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