Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There are a lot of assumptions you'd have to make before offense starts to be taken.
On the one hand, as your in-laws have apparently made the effort to not serve pork in your presence, obviously your preferences of pork-avoidance due to religious reasons are known to them.
On the other hand, I'm assuming that they know you don't keep a strictly kosher kitchen either, and it may not have occurred to them that keeping a pork product in the house -- even if not for your consumption -- might be a problem. My guess is that they're used to having bacon with their breakfasts -- and a lot of older people do not deviate from their specific meal routines. My grandfather was like this -- my parents and I were not really bacon eaters, but every time he came for a visit, we always had some in the house because he had to have his V8, scrambled eggs, bacon and grapefruit for breakfast each morning.
Have they visited before? Did they bring along bacon? Where is your spouse in all of this?
Some advice here:
1. If you have to ask whether or not you should be offended, you probably shouldn't be. If you kept kosher, or if you always avoided all pork products and deeply felt the religious conviction to do so -- then you'd already know the answer. I don't think they did it as a slight to you, and I doubt they're going to try to feed it to your kid. However, if you absolutely do not want your kid eating it, then ask your spouse to talk to them.
2. After their visit, you and your spouse need to have a chat about dietary restrictions (and, probably, religious observations) and what this means for your house. As your kid gets older, this will start to be more of an issue and it would be a good idea to figure out where your limits and convictions are before it does. Parents have every right to raise their kids in their own religious traditions and moral convictions -- it is just helpful to have those completely ironed out before they do.
Why do you think they will feed your child something you don't want them to have? Have they done that before? If not I wouldn't worry about it. Just because you don't eat pork doesn't mean they don't have to. There are certain things I don't eat but I would never tell a guest that they can't eat something because I don't so it shouldn't bother you that they have bacon.
I don't think you should be offended. I think that they were trying to be self-sufficient guests. They like bacon for breakfast and knew you wouldn't have any, so they brought their own. It probably didn't occur to them that you wouldn't want it in the house, since you and your spouse have probably let them know, somewhere in time, that your home is not kosher.
Most of my guests bring their own coffee. They know from past experience that I am clueless about coffee since I've never drunk it.
If it's a problem, have your spouse explain it to them and instruct them not to feed it to the child. No drama here.
I assume it means they'll be attempting to feed it to my two year old while I'm at work.
What is the basis for this assumption out of curiosity? Rather than - say - assuming they brought it for their own consumption. I - for example - do not smoke.
If people come to my house and bring their own cigarettes I do not automatically assume that they will be sticking ciggies in my 3 year olds mouth when I leave the house.
So your assumption here is seemingly based on something - but that something is not in your OP anywhere. Is it not in fact wise for someone to bring their own supply of something that they want but are aware you do not possess or provide (like cigarettes with me)?
Also what is a "jewish home" exactly? I am sure I know how people can be religious. I have yet to meet a religious house.
Instead of assuming why don't you ask, nicely. They probably just want to be sure it's their for their own breakfast since they know you wouldn't be buying it.
I think if I had Jewish inlaws I would probably brush up on the dietary restrictions, but if your inlaws haven't done that then they probably don't know diddly about being kosher other than the fact that you don't EAT pork.
But, OP...You said you don't keep kosher...So, what's the fuss about?
Quote OP "So I don't keep kosher, but I do my best to avoid eating pork. "
Last edited by JanND; 02-11-2014 at 08:18 AM..
Reason: added txt
Do you pick and choose which of the 613 Mitzvot you are going to obey? If so they probably figure you should just deal with it. I wouldnt think twice about offending someone if they dont even follow their religion's doctrines. If you are strictly observant then yes I would say they were being insensitive. Regardless it sounds like you're looking for drama.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
