My SO's uppercrust people can be so tacky or is it me? (meeting, feel)

[lkb0714]

Originally Posted by blazerj

I disagree. If 1 person puts on a networking event at their house, doesn't it sound more like a party? If the event were at a 3rd party location (restaurant, bar, hall...), it's a different case.

These events are not uncommon. There is one in my town every month. It is geared towards those who own small businesses and it would be ridiculous to expect just because someone is hosting they should assume all the cost of the event. These people are not working for the same company, but rather have mutual business interests.

[nonpartisan1]

Originally Posted by angrymillionaire

Yes I am a lawyer by profession went to Harvard after all then eventually moved on to my current profession, where i lied about my experience

[biscuitmom]

Originally Posted by Legnomoretingle

I've worked for some HUGE corporations. NEVER was I "invited" to a work related event where the company did not pay.

These are normally not affairs for persons who work for large companies and are not the same as the "work-related" events you know. They're arranged mix-and-mingle events. Typically attendees are small business owners, independent contractors, local self-employed professionals, free-lance consultants, etc. In other words - people who don't work for a company that pays their fees, so they have to pay themselves.

I also worked for larger organizations so never had need to attend any. But my relatives in real estate, insurance, and politics attend them whenever they get a chance.

[cheryjohns]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

BTW, this event is clearly not one where everyone is in the exact same field. Related fields, with some local big wigs. Sounds like the "business women of (name of my town)" get together that happen at various people's homes. Those are also catered btw. And like this event, they are not mandatory.

You seem completely ignorant of this type of networking event. Given that you claim to be a journalist, that is odd. Equally odd is that you don't see why it might be a bad idea for journalists to attend networking events involving the people they might need to be reporting on in that unbiased manner.

Originally Posted by lkb0714

These events are not uncommon. There is one in my town every month. It is geared towards those who own small businesses and it would be ridiculous to expect just because someone is hosting they should assume all the cost of the event. These people are not working for the same company, but rather have mutual business interests.

Originally Posted by biscuitmom

These are normally not affairs for persons who work for large companies and are not the same as the "work-related" events you know. They're arranged mix-and-mingle events. Typically attendees are small business owners, independent contractors, local self-employed professionals, free-lance consultants, etc. In other words - people who don't work for a company that pays their fees, so they have to pay themselves.

I also worked for larger organizations so never had need to attend any. But my relatives in real estate, insurance, and politics attend them whenever they get a chance.

Yes, yes, and yes. Oh, and yes. These things are not that uncommon. If a special guest (say, the mayor, or a speaker) is there, they normally do not pay - the membership or host pays. The host is basically contributing his/her home, in order to provide a more informal setting. I have been to dozens of these. All are not productive - but most are. I never paid attention to the menu prior, because it was not the point.

[DaniellaG]

No offense again OP but really I think you made a bigger deal out of this then need be. You made the choice to not go but it sounds like you have resentment still and I would try to let that go so it does not interfere with your job.
Whether this be tacky for an employer to charge or not this is just one example of work issues that may not be fair or a good situation to be presented with but if you want to keep employment you go with the flow.
If this was me since it is not a huge amount of money and regardless of food that would be given I would go because I would not want my employment to be impacted in the future. I know employers should not base it on something like this but you never know and in the future with wanting a raise or promotion not going to an event may come to their mind.
I cant recall who stated the response to me when I stated the OP may be a millionaire who is so focused on 50 dollars. Like I said I understand watching expenses regardless but when it comes down to very small amount usually there is more behind it. Also the 50 or now 75 dollars like I said is probably not just for the food but table settings, drinks, so forth and that adds up.

[brokensky]

Originally Posted by angrymillionaire

I think you are missing the point that I hate Sushi. In my everyday life I'd never pay a penny for Sushi. I find it very abusive to my taste buds. So to say 50bucks is not a lot?

I'm getting worked up about the food because its a paid event, if I pay a whooping $50 per plate then I should love the food, it should not assault my tastebuds!

Also, most are missing the fact that FOR ME $50 a plate is on the higher end so I would expect to be satisfied. If it was a measly $10 that they asked for I'd just pay and hope for the best.

Ummmmm . . . you have not been around much, have you? In uppercrust social situations?

Because if you had . . . you would realize that (at least where I come from) the best networking is at country clubs and at homes of the well-connected.

It is common in such circles to have meetings at "the club" and since everything is going to be charged to one person's account (even if numerous others are members) . . . everyone EXPECTS to find out how much their share of the bill will be and to send the Host that amount of money.

It doesn't make a dayum what the food is. Or the drinks. Or if the drinks are from a free bar set up or a pay per glass set up. You are not there for the food. That $50 is your entree into a circle of people who help with your career.

Same for meetings at someone's house. People have things catered and open their homes for 50 people simply for a meet-and-greet . . . you expect one person (the Host) to pay $2500, and consult you on the menu? PLEASE.

Don't show your lack of upper scale background by being whiny and uncouth.

Here in the South, we have a sayin' . . . If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

[arleigh]

This sounds typical.

Wan a be rich and influential people, do every thing the can to rub elbows with rich folk as stepping stones for the future, so it is a favor to offer a seat with them at a small price of the cost of the meal they particularly enjoy.
That is how some people think they must earn their way in the ranks of the influential.
$50. is cheap if you consider that these folk are particular with whom they spend time, and being seen with them having their approval is big in their world .
If this is something important to your spouse/ S/O and they are important to you , their success is your success .
What are your values ?

[brokensky]

Originally Posted by arleigh

This sounds typical.

Wan a be rich and influential people, do every thing the can to rub elbows with rich folk as stepping stones for the future, so it is a favor to offer a seat with them at a small price of the cost of the meal they particularly enjoy.
That is how some people think they must earn their way in the ranks of the influential.
$50. is cheap if you consider that these folk are particular with whom they spend time, and being seen with them having their approval is big in their world .
If this is something important to your spouse/ S/O and they are important to you , their success is your success .
What are your values ?

Since this is a private party at someone's home, OP is not talking about "being seen" with the right people. This isn't meant to be an opportunity to "rub elbows" with the "right people" just to have an occasion to drop names later.

This is an opportunity to meet folks who might have projects you can bid on or who may remember you and call on you to be a part of a project they have. And vice versa.

People hire others they know and trust, when possible. Everyone knows this. Folks will hire their friends or consider a recommendation from a friend when deciding on new hires. This is just human nature.

Getting your name around in professional circles where there may be a need for your particular skill set is not only good business, it is smart.

Tying that into a negative comment about someone lacking "values" is waaaaaaay off course. No one is trying to rip anyone off or do something illegal, for heaven's sake.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

Uh, the fact that anyone who doesn't network according to your specific rules is "wrong", shows who really is "itching for a fight".

BTW, this event is clearly not one where everyone is in the exact same field. Related fields, with some local big wigs. Sounds like the "business women of (name of my town)" get together that happen at various people's homes. Those are also catered btw. And like this event, they are not mandatory.

You seem completely ignorant of this type of networking event. Given that you claim to be a journalist, that is odd. Equally odd is that you don't see why it might be a bad idea for journalists to attend networking events involving the people they might need to be reporting on in that unbiased manner.

But hey what is the link to your blog?

So not everyone is in the same field. That just bolsters my case that it's not a networking thing, and is instead more of a social party passed off as networking so the "host" doesn't have to actually host.

What is odd your apparent inability to see that writers, editors, and other media people network among themselves. That's what press clubs, other professional organizations, even MediaBistro and similar sites, are for. No one said anything about hobnobbing with people journalists write about. Maybe your mind went there, perhaps because you are not in tune with ethics, yourself, but that was clearly not what I was talking about. A shame that you couldn't infer anything from context with the use of "press club," and you were apparently unable to look up the definition of one online so that it had to be spelled out for you, but that's more of an issue with reading comprehension than anything else.

As for your final snitty comment, I must disappoint you and tell you that I'm well-credentialed and have thousands of bylines spanning nearly 25 years.

Are you in PR?

[Duchamp Dude]

Angrymillionaire needs a chill pill.


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