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My SO is supposed to be well bred but his ""peoples"" can be so tacky. One of his relatives, Michael works in the same industry as I/me(not sure which is better)?
So he decided to be kind enough to invite me to a networking event at their house. Everyone is invited, the city's mayor even, plus all our industry heavyweights or at least the top 4.
Now what bothers me about the invitation is that I ran into Michael & he mentioned that he'd like SO & I to come to a Sushi Party at his house. I assumed it was free.
This morning I wake up to Michael's son's email saying guys surprise Michael & lets go to his place for Sushi. Please find attached my bank details its $50 per plate.
WTF? Here are the reasons why I am angry
1) First of all Michael casually mentioned a Sushi Dinner to me. There was no mention of this $50 entry fee back then.
2) I hate how the son sent the invitation emails, included no mention of the Menu, no mention of time but was so quick to remind people to bring $50 a plate. Sounds tacky to me when you forget important details & yet remember to include your banking account.
3) At the end of the day, this is a work event & to pay $50/plate seems a bit too much. I am well off but thrifty I can count how many times I have had a $50dinner/plate in my personal life so to pay so much to sit with people I dont know that well pisses me off.
4) Tacky tacky, I dont even like Sushi, you want people to pay $50 a plate, at least ask them to go to a restaurant & have them pick what they want. Why would I pay $50/plate for Sushi I hate when I can get lobster & steak which I love for $35? You wanna charge $50/plate and detect what people eat? For that price I should pick what I like.
5) IMO if you are inviting people at home dont charge people for food at least not exhorbitant prices like $50 a plate.
6) This heiffer, you wanna charge me $50/plate at least include in the invitation email a full menu of what you are serving.
What if I go there, after wiring $50/plate only to get a roll of sushi & a slice of bread? IMO when you charge such exhorbitant prices you make it about money so they better prove that the cost is worth it, yup send me a menu to justify the price!
The SO seems to think they are outsourcing food from a fancy restaurant but I hate Sushi. Yet I want to go shake some famous hands in the city? Any advice?
I guess what I'm saying is that normally I'd invite tacky invites like this but I might meet powerful people if I go =always a good thing but since I do not eat Sushi I can not justify spending $50/plate for a meal I do not eat/enjoy.
I do not know how to diplomatically handle this? Que??
Last edited by angrymillionaire; 10-05-2013 at 04:15 PM..
This is a WORK event that is being catered. They shouldn't have to pay for you. This isn't a celebration so why should they pay for you? If you feel strongly, email the son back, mention to him that you do not eat Sushi that they should not order any for you. Then you can ask if you can chip in for appetizers and drinks.
Maybe they will still let you go, maybe they won't.
As for your self-righteous unfounded anger over a perfectly reasonable request, get over it. You should be grateful you were invited at all.
This is a WORK event that is being catered. They shouldn't have to pay for you. This isn't a celebration so why should they pay for you? If you feel strongly, email the son back, mention to him that you do not eat Sushi that they should not order any for you. Then you can ask if you can chip in for appetizers and drinks.
Maybe they will still let you go, maybe they won't.
As for your self-righteous unfounded anger over a perfectly reasonable request, get over it. You should be grateful you were invited at all.
I dont mind paying for myself at a work catered event. I just mind being told to pay $50-plate for Sushi which I do not even like At %$50-plate I should be able to choose what I like to eat. Thats why IMO this should have been a restaurant even then I would have had steak & lobster & crab or Ribs etc
But to be forced to eat what you dont like for $50/plate...no son!!
I dont mind paying for myself at a work catered event. I just mind being told to pay $50-plate for Sushi which I do not even like At %$50-plate I should be able to choose what I like to eat. Thats why IMO this should have been a restaurant even then I would have had steak & lobster & crab or Ribs etc
But to be forced to eat what you dont like for $50/plate...no son!!
Well the typical day conference would cost far more than that and you likely wouldn't be able to pick your food either.
If you don't want to pay its simple. Don't go. They are not remotely obligated to invite you so all the angst over the catering is misplaced.
The second you said sushi, I was like, I'm out! Can't stand the stuff. That's why I wouldn't go, personally. As for the tackiness factor, I think I misunderstood because it didn't sound like a work thing, it sounded like a personal party from the way you described it. If it's a personal party then I think it's tacky. But for work functions, I've always had the experience that the company paid for dinners.
This is an "Oh, well." situation to me. By that, I mean, you now know how this person operates. It isn't always apparent at first.
I associate with some people where I know events will be free. With others, I know will be self-pay. Still others, I know it's going to cost me $200, at least, no matter what we will be doing.
I can't say I'm frugal, but I am selective about on what, and with whom, I spend my money. If I find out too late that something is going to cost and I didn't expect it, that's an "Oh, well." moment. I can either send my regrets or go. My choice as this is yours.
I'd go even if I hated raw fish- which I do. You said you had a chance at this affair to hob nob with people you'd like to meet for business purposes.
That alone is reason to go. Consider the price a business expense. Don't worry about the menu. They may not have a main course you like, but without doubt they'll also be some sort of appetizer to snack on. Eat a meal before you go so you won't be hungry.
Then go, socialize, do your meet and greets with the people you would like to know. Getting new contacts, letting others in your profession know you exist is well worth the $ 50.00 . What they serve is immaterial.
And yes, the invitation was handled poorly and was confusing. Water over the damn now. Use the affair to your best advantage.
So he decided to be kind enough to invite me to a networking event at their house. Everyone is invited, the city's mayor even, plus all our industry heavyweights or at least the top 4.
3) At the end of the day, this is a work event & to pay $50/plate seems a bit too much. I am well off but thrifty I can count how many times I have had a $50dinner/plate in my personal life so to pay so much to sit with people I dont know that well pisses me of
I guess what I'm saying is that normally I'd invite tacky invites like this but I might meet powerful people if I go =always a good thing but since I do not eat Sushi I can not justify spending $50/plate for a meal I do not eat/enjoy.
You're contradicting yourself all over the place.
The whole purpose of networking events is to sit with people you don't know. It doesn't matter what or if you eat, $50 is a reasonable fee for a chance to mingle with the top industry heavyweights in your field. That's assuming they go. You say they're "invited". Since this is a paid networking event, you have the right to ask who is attending before you pay.
If, as you indicated, you committed before understanding this was a paid event and you don't want to pay the fee, then simply say that to the host: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand this was a paid event when I committed. Now that I know it is, I've reconsidered and won't be attending. Please accept my regrets."
If you want to continue to gnash your teeth, tear your garments, and lose sleep over how the invitation was handled and what food is being served, that's your right. Have at it.
This is a WORK event that is being catered. They shouldn't have to pay for you. This isn't a celebration so why should they pay for you? If you feel strongly, email the son back, mention to him that you do not eat Sushi that they should not order any for you. Then you can ask if you can chip in for appetizers and drinks.
Maybe they will still let you go, maybe they won't.
As for your self-righteous unfounded anger over a perfectly reasonable request, get over it. You should be grateful you were invited at all.
You missed her point entirely. She is upset that she was not told about the $50 right at the beginning. It frankly does seem expensive for just sushi and no other food items. You need to get your conceited nose out of the air and come down to earth with people that respect value and getting accurate information and not wanting surprises. Her concern is justified and there is nothing self righteous about it to anyone with common sense.
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