Cell phones and always being available

[Sassybluesy]

I used to work with a girl whose boyfriend gave her a cell phone. She thought that was the neatest thing in the world, and what a great boyfriend he was, etc.


Ha. Soon enough, if she didn't answer when he called, there were consequences, and then after that, she broke up with him, and moved out. And then he started stalking her and coming up to her place of business.

[Inacitysomewhere]

Originally Posted by aspentree

I'm 40+.

I find the few hours window being considered rude unrealistic. It would really depend on the nature of the call.

If you are in certain situations, I guess I find it more rude to break out the cell phone to return a text/call than it is to not return them within that window.

If someone is going to a movie, a funeral, a wedding, or on a first date, unless the phone call is about a major earth shattering crisis...I think returning the phone call can be delayed. I guess what I am saying is that some people are more particular about interruptions to their time off, etc.

I'm the OP...the person calling was basically trying to make fixing her problem my problem.

Mid 30s.

I will answer when I can get to iit. I HATE this expectation. If I am on a run, with a friend, or oit, I won’t be on my phome. I have a smartphone but it osnstrictly for personal. I don’t have my work email connected, and (I am a teacher) I don’t give my personal number out to parents. You have a work question, contact me at work during work. I will text you back, but it won’t be immeadiately.

[PAhippo]

Originally Posted by ssg II

As an employer, I had to threaten to fire employees (and did) who were on their cells at work. "But I have to be able to get calls & texts in case of an emergency!" The business has a phone. Anyone can call you here.

.

I know you haven't posted since 2015 but I so wish you had been my boss.

[Kophi]

Originally Posted by aspentree

Do you think with cell phones and texting that people have the expectation you'll always be available?

I have a cell phone, often when I'm at home I'll have it turned to silent. If there is a true emergency people that know me well can use my landline.

So someone called me on my cell phone to ask a favor that had a time sensitive nature to it. I actually didn't see the call until a couple hours had passed I wouldn't have done the favor anyway, but they were mad that I didn't call them back sooner. I personally find that expectation a little silly, but it seems like it is becoming more common, since cell phones provide greater access.

I make sure that people know that I’m a liberal user of Airplane Mode as
well as the Do Not Disturb feature on my phone. My philosophy is that
the phone is there for you – you are not there for the phone.

I think some of my aversion to answering calls in general is from years of
having to do so as part of my job, as well as years of not knowing what
drama awaits on the other end, if and when I do pick up, outside of my
job.

There was a time when even “emergency” calls would’ve had to wait if
people weren’t home to answer them, so I really don’t see any reason
why we must be on-call 24/7 even if technology enables that now. Just
because we can, doesn't mean we should.

As for actual emergencies, it's often recommended that the caller
hang up and dial 9-1-1.

-

[kevxu]

I tell anyone who asks for my phone number that they can have it, but my phone is turned off except when I want to make a call. But you can send me email, and as I use the computer frequently during the day I will see your message within an hour or two.

At night: no phone, no computer. There is no one who has any reason to contact me with life and death problems between the time I hit the sack and the time I get up, and I promise in an emergency I call the police or an ambulance so the favor is returned.

Smart phones seem to have given people the idea that they are the Center of All the Action, but it looks more like they have extracted their a-holes from between their butt cheeks just to spend the day holding it in their hand and pawing their haemorrhoids.

[Inacitysomewhere]

Originally Posted by aspentree

I guess one thing I've learned the hard way is how to set boundaries and I do think it is okay to have them with cell phones just as any other thing.

I think it is fine if you don't view answering text messages as being on...but not everyone feels that way, and that is okay to.

Hearing back a day later is different than a few hours which is what you originally said.

While I think what you are saying is that cell phones aren't the root cause of the rude behavior, it has certainly expanded the ways in which one can be rude. I think there are some situations, where people should think twice about needing to connect with someone when they know the person are engaged with others...be it chaperoning a field trip or being on a date. How many times, if at all, does an SO need to check up on someone? Do they need to check up 15 minutes into the date?


Regarding progress and my earlier post about a potential backlash....I do think that we'll need to have a discussion about how we use cell phones, and etiquette. If someone pays $50 for a ticket to a play etc., they shouldn't be distracted by someone who won't practice common courtesy. There is always someone who is too "special" to turn their phone off.

Regularly text back a day later unless it is a pressing issue. For example, if we are meeting up, and you or I are late. Texting is fine. If it’s just a “How r uuuuuuuu?” Text, yeah, you know, you can call or we can actually get together, but texting for small talk? Nope. I got lotsa other things to do with my time.