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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I think some people do have that expectation, and some people live up to that expectation, sleeping with the phone next to the bed, having it out on their desk or the dinner table, etc. I have a few friends who will send a text, and if you don't answer in the next 10 minutes will call twice and send three more texts. I think of it as the phone is for my convenience, not anyone else's. Sometimes I'll leave it downstairs while I'm upstairs, or it's off while I'm at a movie or dinner, and the world doesn't end.
That's taking things to extremes...I will not be woken up, unless it's a life or death emergency...
Yes, some people have said that I'm not fastidious enough in always being available. I answer when i can, but often it's not a suitable time, my phone is out of batteries.etc. Any number of reasons. I am not obliged to be at your beck and call just because i have a cellphone. You should be grateful that i will get back to you at all.
Yeah, I'm known to not be available...this job would like me to jump and even ask "how high" everytime they need something..but I've learned long ago that you're no more important than yesterday's dinner when they see you are at their beck and call.
Do you think with cell phones and texting that people have the expectation you'll always be available?
I have a cell phone, often when I'm at home I'll have it turned to silent. If there is a true emergency people that know me well can use my landline.
So someone called me on my cell phone to ask a favor that had a time sensitive nature to it. I actually didn't see the call until a couple hours had passed I wouldn't have done the favor anyway, but they were mad that I didn't call them back sooner. I personally find that expectation a little silly, but it seems like it is becoming more common, since cell phones provide greater access.
I do think the whole concept of "cell phone" has gone off the charts with insanity which is not what they were intended for. They have become more of a bother than they ever were intended to be. People are using them while driving and causing accidents, kids are taking them to school, they go off in church or the doctors office, people won't turn them off while visiting in the hospital..nutz. The aggrevating part of owning one is that you absolutely need one at your disposal. When was the last time anyone saw a PAY PHONE that was available or working?? When cells became popular...pay phones died.
My son and his wife argue with me constantly about the need to have a cell. One day, while out driving, my daughter in law's car broke down. UH OH...no cell phone. Hmmmmmm??? no pay phones either. Now What??? She had to walk to a restaurant and ask to use their phone; embarrased..yup. Did she get a cell?? NO. I had purchased them a pay as you go phone but they couldn't figure out how to use it or where to go to get the minutes. I told them to go to CVS and ask and I believed they could purchase the minutes there. Sigh...they are in their 40's so I give up. My son has a company phone he uses sparingly..guess that will have to do.
No..you don't have to carry your cell while you are home or leave it on. Doesn't make sense is right. For me, my son is not one to call and ask how I am which totally ticks me off but he will text me...go figure..on his COMPANY phone. Sigh.....
I have my cell phone with me all the time but I don't always answer it because sometimes I just don't feel like talking to whomever is calling or I'm in the middle of something else. I do have a bluetooth headset though which really helps when I'm doing dishes which I hate to do so I put on the headset, put my phone in my armband case and put it on then call Sneakers or my Mother and chat while I'm doing dishes. It makes the time pass quicker and gets my dishes done without the usual "just doing dishes" syndrome. I will do the same when folding laundry as well, it just seems to get my chores done quicker because I am chatting and not actually thinking about doing chores.
Do you think with cell phones and texting that people have the expectation you'll always be available?
I have a cell phone, often when I'm at home I'll have it turned to silent. If there is a true emergency people that know me well can use my landline.
So someone called me on my cell phone to ask a favor that had a time sensitive nature to it. I actually didn't see the call until a couple hours had passed I wouldn't have done the favor anyway, but they were mad that I didn't call them back sooner. I personally find that expectation a little silly, but it seems like it is becoming more common, since cell phones provide greater access.
I think you are totally correct. There is this assumption now that people are instantly available....and should be checking their mobile phones constantly.
This assumption became so annoying to me, not to mention the idiotic, no-purpose phone calls and text messages...often at lunch, when I wanted to eat my lunch in peace and not be tied to a cell phone, that my phone is always shut off now unless I want to use it for an emergency.
I check the phone once a week at best and that's when I see messages. This completely enrages some people, drives them right up the wall and over the top. But I've told everyone I know and every contact I make: I use the computer to write; thus, if you send email there is a 99% chance I'll get back to you within a couple of hours.
Still have a couple of folks with PCs who persist in calling me on the phone nevertheless, and are still aghast when they don't get a response for three or four days.
I do think the whole concept of "cell phone" has gone off the charts with insanity which is not what they were intended for. They have become more of a bother than they ever were intended to be. People are using them while driving and causing accidents, kids are taking them to school, they go off in church or the doctors office, people won't turn them off while visiting in the hospital..nutz. ...
Amen.
Very early in the cell phone craze I and two strangers standing with me were grazed and almost knocked to the ground crossing at a corner because an idiot using a cell phone was staring into the air as he talked and didn't even know that light had changed. As he wiped his car across me and these two women I could see this jackass's face inches from me, staring up off into the distance as he jabbered away, totally unaware that he had hit three people.
From that day on I have hated all cell phone users.
I find the few hours window being considered rude unrealistic. It would really depend on the nature of the call.
If you are in certain situations, I guess I find it more rude to break out the cell phone to return a text/call than it is to not return them within that window.
If someone is going to a movie, a funeral, a wedding, or on a first date, unless the phone call is about a major earth shattering crisis...I think returning the phone call can be delayed. I guess what I am saying is that some people are more particular about interruptions to their time off, etc.
I'm the OP...the person calling was basically trying to make fixing her problem my problem.
I understand your point of view, however simply be aware that if you are talking to someone in a different generation from you, then you would be viewed as incredibly rude if you didn't answer a text message for two days. Remember - people my age grew up where always being connected is normal.
I don't have a cell phone. We have a track phone we use on vacations, because we only rent one car and so one of us needs to pick the other one up, when he's golfing and I'm at the mall. Other than that - we have no need for them.
I understand your point of view, however simply be aware that if you are talking to someone in a different generation from you, then you would be viewed as incredibly rude if you didn't answer a text message for two days. Remember - people my age grew up where always being connected is normal.
Don't you think it is rude though, to be so concerned about being connected that you aren't really engaged with the people who are physically present with you? I'm not sure where you are getting the two days from.
This happened quite a while ago, but it really bothered me. I think it was the first time where I saw someone behave in an extreme manner with a cell phone. I'd made plans to reconnect with an old friend for the day. We had lunch first, and almost immediately she started getting texts that she "had" to respond to. It wasn't just one text. More than one text was from her boyfriend checking up on her. Really, if you are someone's SO you can't leave them alone for a day when you know they have plans with someone else?
In my work to a certain extent if we want to change our schedules we are supposed to talk to our coworkers to change shifts etc. Sorry, but if I am on vacation and you know that I have no obligation to text you back about whether I can pick up your shift. It really isn't MY problem if you don't want to work on Saturday when I am on vacation.
Here is another example. You volunteer to chaperone an activity with your kid's class etc. Unless it is a really extreme situation(family member awaiting transplant surgery)...you should have your cell phone turned off. It is disruptive, and it is sending the opposite message to kids than what they are being taught in school.
If you are texting someone during work hours, I don't see that they have any obligation to text you back until they are finished working.
Don't you think it is rude though, to be so concerned about being connected that you aren't really engaged with the people who are physically present with you? I'm not sure where you are getting the two days from.
This happened quite a while ago, but it really bothered me. I think it was the first time where I saw someone behave in an extreme manner with a cell phone. I'd made plans to reconnect with an old friend for the day. We had lunch first, and almost immediately she started getting texts that she "had" to respond to. It wasn't just one text. More than one text was from her boyfriend checking up on her. Really, if you are someone's SO you can't leave them alone for a day when you know they have plans with someone else?
In a situation like that, I would text the person back saying I would call them in an hour/two hours/etc. Not responding at all is rude, and ignoring the person you are physically with is rude as well.
Quote:
In my work to a certain extent if we want to change our schedules we are supposed to talk to our coworkers to change shifts etc. Sorry, but if I am on vacation and you know that I have no obligation to text you back about whether I can pick up your shift. It really isn't MY problem if you don't want to work on Saturday when I am on vacation.
I understand that, however for my generation at least, I am used to always being connected. I think there have been a total of two days in my life I took vacation where I didn't get at least one call/text from work. That is just the way things are. It is all I am used to.
Quote:
Here is another example. You volunteer to chaperone an activity with your kid's class etc. Unless it is a really extreme situation(family member awaiting transplant surgery)...you should have your cell phone turned off. It is disruptive, and it is sending the opposite message to kids than what they are being taught in school.
I don't think I have turned my phone completely off (or been more than 10 feet away from it) in about four years. I put my phone on vibrate/silent, but I really never have it completely off.
Quote:
If you are texting someone during work hours, I don't see that they have any obligation to text you back until they are finished working.
I can reply to personal calls/messages with my job, as long as I still get my work done. That being said, I understand not everyone has a job like that.
Look - I absolutely understand what you are saying, and either extreme is a problem. If someone won't hold a conversation with you at dinner because they are checking their email, that is a major problem. If you have to jump through hoops because a friend doesn't even have a cell phone, and is continually holding the group up because they are impossible to reach, that is a problem as well.
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