Unhappy in Indiana (Indianapolis: transplants, employment, live)

[ja1myn]

As a native Northeasterner who enjoys coming into this Indiana forum, I just want to say that a lot of New Englanders and NYers do come off rude but we don't mean to. We just always have our guard up. I'm not really sure why.

And just because we swear a lot doesn't mean we're terrible!!!

[thefallensrvnge]

I've always found Hoosier hospitality to be a very real element of this state.

[X-Greensboro Resident]

I am not an "Indiana Lifer"... Been here for 10 years... I have lived in many states as well as several countries and have travelled extensively. I spent my formative years in DC area (up to sophmore year in high school) and then moved down south to North Carolina (2 years of high school, all of college and 5 years post college). Indiana may or may not be a horrible place, it depends on the person... The local hoosiers may or may not be rude, it also depends on the person...

However, I find it absolutely ridicilous to compare it to the "friendliness" of the south and having grown up in the south, I feel like I have earned that opinion... People in the south may "seem" friendly on the surface but it is so fake most of the time and very irritating. I'd rather be left alone by complete strangers at a store who are going to be fake friendly to my face and talk trash behind my back once I am gone. It's not genuine! I'd rather be around rude but real folks rather than fake nice ones... At least you know where you stand with them! I also get irritated by complete strangers being too chatty... Just leave me the heck alone, going to the grociery store shouldn't include a fake conversation with complete strangers.

Overall, Indiana is not the best place I've ever lived in but it's also not the worst... It is what you make it. The weather does suck... People are generally too conservative for my taste but good people nonetheless. I have made a lot of friends here.. some better than others; however, I have not made any real close friends in the 10 years I've lived here. For the right opportunity, I wouldn't mind moving back to the south east (VA, NC or SC)... but for now, I am just fine here and happy.

[domergurl]

In my experience, some southern people aren't genuinely friendly ... it's a lot of "bless their heart" friendliness. And saying "bless your heart" in the south is NOT a compliment.

In new england in general, people don't take kindly to strangers.

Here in the midwest, people aren't friendly unless they mean it and I like it that way. But I'm friendly until someone gives me a reason to not be.

And everyone on the west coast is too stoned to not be friendly ... ha!

[fallingwater]

Originally Posted by domergurl

In my experience, some southern people aren't genuinely friendly ... it's a lot of "bless their heart" friendliness. And saying "bless your heart" in the south is NOT a compliment.

In new england in general, people don't take kindly to strangers.

Here in the midwest, people aren't friendly unless they mean it and I like it that way. But I'm friendly until someone gives me a reason to not be.

And everyone on the west coast is too stoned to not be friendly ... ha!

LOL. My friend moved to the deep south the same year I moved to Indiana. She loved it immediately. She said her neighbors took her right away and she felt so sorry for me that I wasn't adjusting well to my move. She said everyone was so polite and respectful. After a year, she realized all those friendly neighbor ladies were talking serious smack behind her back. My friend was a single mother at the time and all those nice southern ladies were worried my friend was after their husbands. I actually prefer the midwest in general when it comes to people's attitudes and temperaments. I think my biggest issue is trying to fit into a very conservative midwest.

[ja1myn]

That's all these southern people do is act fake to your face and then talk smack behind your back. It's one of the most annoying things about living down here.

[nothappyinindy]

Originally Posted by AliJ523

I mean absolute no disrespect to people who are from Indiana or who enjoy living here, but I have to admit that the time I've lived here, I've been the most unhappiest. The people are just not what I'm used to - they're very cliquish and standoffish. We've lived here for many years and still only know a few people - ironically, the people we do know are from out of state as well.

I got used to the land being so flat and seeing cornfields everywhere I went, but it doesn't feel like home - it feels more like a prison. I'm perplexed because I've been to neighboring states (OH, IL and MI) and don't get the same vibe as in Indy.

Where I'm from, if you make eye contact with someone you don't know, you smile and acknowledge that person. Here if you make eye contact with some, he/she just glares back. It's eerie.

My husband is being transferred to TX within the next 2 years and will be happy to move. I won't have any desire to ever come back or will I miss anything about Indiana. Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to understand why things are the way they are

Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!

I'm posting out of frustration. I do want to enjoy my time here, and I have tried. Anyone else experience this?

I agree with you totally! I moved here from the Minneapolis/St Paul area years ago and I still am NOT happy living here at all!! I have now experienced all that Indianapolis has to offer and am left bored and frustrated. I don't care for car racing, football, or basketball. There is little else to do besides go to movies and eat at chain restaurants. The scenery is flat and ugly .....no numerous city nature preserves and parks that include lakes and gorgeous walking trails. One gets bored continually visiting Ft Ben and Eagle Creek. The live theater is limited (no Guthrie here) and the IMA is a little gem but no comparison to the Walker and Minnesota Institute of Art. I would like to move to the greater Boston or Philadelphia area but I am "stuck" here for the rest of my life. I "survive" by making frequent "culture trips" to New York and Minneapolis and places of beauty such as upstate N.Y,, Maine, and California. A late friend of mine who was a Cincinnati transplant said the same thing as you did.....that the residents here are "clannish" . I have to agree with that as well. Everybody knows everybody else and are "suspicious" of outsiders. They have their own "culture" (Hoosier).
I truly would like to meet others on this thread who are also unhappy living here and maybe we can find a way to survive our time here!!!

[nothappyinindy]

Originally Posted by domergurl

If I still lived up there, we would totally hang out. Feel free to come to Columbus!

I had similar experiences in Fishers ... ignorance isn't localized.

HAH! I live about 1/4 mile from Fishers and experienced the same thing with my next door neighbor when I bought my house. She bombarded me with personal questions which I thought were inappropriate and then began to gossip about everyone who lived on the street. I have lived in Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and Long Island, N.Y. and have traveled to almost every state and abroad. This is definitely the worst place I've been. I try to find support groups of other people who have moved here from elsewhere but "elsewhere" to them usually means Kokomo, Marion, or Muncie!!

[domergurl]

nothappy ... I loathed every minute after about a month of living in Fishers. Our move to Columbus literally saved me and I can see us being here for the rest of our working lives. I'm close enough to Cincy and Bloomington and I am 20 minutes from brown county state park ... every time I've been there, it's different.

I am a sports fan, but in Fishers, it was incompatible to be a Bears fan and a Notre Dame fan. Here, people don't care.

[kayanne]

Originally Posted by nothappyinindy

The scenery is flat and ugly .....no numerous city nature preserves and parks that include lakes and gorgeous walking trails. One gets bored continually visiting Ft Ben and Eagle Creek.

Have you visited any of the state parks? There are numerous ones, and I have enjoyed each one I have visited. Shades State Park is not far from Indy, and it was very pretty. I've stayed at inns at Brown County State Park, Clifty Falls, Whitewater, and probably others. They have been great to visit as well.

The live theater is limited (no Guthrie here)

The Performing Arts Center is Carmel has some great shows, as does Clowes Hall and the Murat. Broadway Across America performs in Indianapolis, and has some outstanding plays and musicals.

A late friend of mine who was a Cincinnati transplant said the same thing as you did.....that the residents here are "clannish" . I have to agree with that as well. Everybody knows everybody else and are "suspicious" of outsiders. They have their own "culture" (Hoosier).

I'm sorry that has been your experience. Every state/town will have its share of friendly people and its share of rude people. Keep an open mind, and keep looking for the good folks! It can definitely take a lot of effort to make friends in a new place. I have moved 5 times since 2008, and I learned that people aren't going to line up at my door to be my friend. I have used meetup.com a lot, and if I didn't find the kind of group I was looking for, or didn't click with the people I met that way, I started my own meetup group! As I recall, Indpls has over a thousand meetup groups, so you should be able to find something that works for you. Indy Wine Infusion is a VERY active group.

When we moved to Louisiana last fall, I was disappointed to find that meetup is practically non-existent down here. So I had to get creative to meet people, but meet them I did! And now I love it here! It sounds cheesy, but you have to BE a friend if you want to HAVE friends. Life is too short to resign yourself to being unhappy, anywhere!

Good luck, kayanne (now in Cajun Country, but always a Hoosier at heart!)