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during the 31 years before he was force to retire my husband averaged 1 day off every four years, his average workday was 12.65 hrs I cant remember him having one holiday off His Christmas and thanksgiving usually consisted of a sandwich delivery from home at the gate, several times he did not get that.
I just came to a decision, its probably going to land me in big trouble around here, several people have said the next time my husband tells them to get out of their face they will have to do something, I just told someone else that husband was right they had to get out of his and my face. It was his father. He is standing on the porch dumfounded and my husband talking to him, We have an issue my husband wont back down from, his father says he will, don't thinks he will.
It's a very odd state, IMO. The only people I've ever known who "love it" are from there, & pretty much stayed there. And it can Definitely be "culture shock" for people from elsewhere. Last few times I went back to Indianapolis, after living all over, East Coast, FL, etc, I was bored to tears, but people I knew who lived around there were raving about how great Indianapolis had become.
And with all due respect, yeah, some of the people can seem odd there, to people from elsewhere. Not sure if I'd call it standoffish, or what, maybe insular would be an apt term. I'm from Indiana tho, & have very mixed feelings; some good memories as a kid, & some of the people there can be incredibly loyal to old friends. But the OP isn't from Indiana, so......
this
above
is
the
TRUTH
people who have lived all over indiana think they know sooooooooo much about the world and how indiana represents what is normative and lively, and how it comepares. what a forkin joke
the birthplace of denial
I'm originally from Ohio but I have been living in Georgia. I had forgotten that people up north don't speak to each other. They actually think that you are weird if you speak and they don't know you... I am in the process of relocating to Indiana and I just told my friend today about people just staring and not speaking...lol
yet more truth
but those thrilled about here, locals, cant stand to hear the truth
things are so unnatral here
fear + the oversized GOD factor play a huge role
Indiana is America's eyesore. It's not a fun state. I think if you are past 50, you are probably just staying in Indiana for the rest of your life and have accepted it by now. The ONLY people I know that like Indiana are lifers. A lot of them(the younger ones) are extremely cocky and think they are better then everyone. My guess is its because that's the only thing keeping them from going over the edge.
My biggest 2 complaints about Indiana are the people and the weather. Being that I used to live in the south and that's where all my family is, it's a big shock how rude people are in Indiana(Most the people in Bloomington are nice due to its "south" culture) and how crappy the weather is. It can snow and be in the 80's within 24 hours of each other. No joke. Sometimes in a 7 day time period you will spend 3 1/2 days running the AC and 3 1/2 days running the heat. I'm not kidding. It's ridiculous.
Now, I will say, if I was forced to stay in Indiana due to family or a great job I would only do it if it was in Bloomington or a suburb of Indianapolis.(Noblesville or Carmel would be my choices). I am moving out of Indiana in a few weeks and I doubt I will ever come back to visit ever again but I really will miss Bloomington somedays. It really is a good place to be(for Indiana).
Also, keep in mind Indiana operates just like the good ole' USA in general...the farther South you go the nicer the people. (North of Indy=rude, stuck-up, etc.) (South of Indy=down to earth)
I can see where the OP is coming from. My experiences living in Indiana have been...well odd. I can only account my experience of one part of the state though. I dont find strangers to be rude. In my experience its actually been the opposite. In fact, just yesterday I went to a local flea market. I was standing outside and a woman was walking up. She didnt look very friendly at first but when she locked eyes with me, she smiled and said hello. It was genuine. The problems I have encountered are past the hello stage, trying to make friends or become part of a group. It kind of makes me feel bad, wondering what part of my personality turns people off before they even get to know me. I didnt have a problem fitting in or making friends where I am from. My husband actually was the more unpopular person and now the roles have reversed. Everyone seems to really like him here and I am the one people back away from.
My first experience of being on the outs was the first few days of living here. My husband moved here first and met a realtor. He had worked with her for about 3 months, she helped him get a rental and I spoke with her on the phone. Everything seemed great. When I finally joined my husband I took over the house hunting (which he told her was going to happen, he had to focus on his job) and I got a vibe right away she didnt like me. My husband said I was being silly. She constantly dismissed my concerns and only took my husband seriously. A few times she was pretty snotty with me and I told my husband I wanted to drop her. When I showed him the listings she gave us, he was perplexed on why they were not in the area we asked for. So he had a talk with her about it and she pretty much told him that she thought I was talking him into buying more than what he really wanted. Well that didnt go over well. My husband then realized she was being a problem and suggested that we should part ways with her. She changed her tune then. She was no longer rude to me but very cold. We found a house we wanted, closed and never spoke to her again. Sometimes she sends us a new business card. It goes in the trash.
Then I met the neighbors. The woman next door seemed judgy right from the get go. She drilled me with questions and some were inappropriate. It didnt take long for me to realize she likes to gossip about the neighbors. She has nicknames for everyone. The big people, the mixed couple, the family with the fat children (she doesnt like heavy set people apparently). Her BFF across the street is timid and looks terrifed talking to me. I can tell the woman next door rules her roost and her friendship. This woman asked one time if I had been a teenage mother. Who asks something like that? I put up with this for 2 yrs. One day she and I were making small talk and she made fun of a boy walking by. He is about 15 yrs old and I could tell something was different about him. She told me he was autistic. She joked he didnt need a halloween costume, just an axe. Implying he was creepy. That was enough for me. I told her in a polite and firm way I didnt like that kind of talk. The first time I had ever said anything to her in 2 yrs that I thought she was being rude. So now she wont even wave to me. She likes my husband though and will catch him when he gets home from work and chews his ear off. If I come outside she walks off.
Another neighbor had a party and invited the whole neighborhood. I thought that was nice and gave it another chance. I had a pleasant conversation with her, we talked about doing lunch sometime and I thought wow, this is cool. She throws another party gets tipsy and starts going off about unions, democrats...how they are ruining the country. Sigh. We grew up in union families and my husband is a union worker. Also add we are democrats. My husband and I bit our tongues and didnt say much until the hostess really started going off and saying some serious untruths and referring to union workers a monkeys. Well then my dear husband couldn't bite his tongue anymore. He politely debated her and she got so upset she stormed out of the room. Okay, stagger actually. Of course everyone at the party looked as us like we were jerks. One guy gave me a serious stare down and said, "we are republican around here." We havent been invited to another party since.
My husband is popular at his job and has a ton of friends. He is always getting invites to watch a game, invited to a party etc. He said I should meet some of the wives. Cold shoulders all around. One lady I have met three times and she purposely refuses to remember my name. I have a very common name, not hard to pronounce or spell. Each time she pretends i dont exist or will say, "Oh...I dont know your name. What is it again? Oh I will just call you Mrs. Fallingwater." No budding friendship there. She doesnt mind making sexual jokes toward my husband though. Another couple my husband invited over. The guys were going on about the game and the wife told me she hated my kitchen and if it were her house, she would rip it out. My son has a friend who parents seemed pretty cool. The father is really down to earth. The mother showed up to pick up her son and was cold as ice. We made small talk and when she got out to the driveway, she took one look at my Subaru and said, "Those are popular in the gay community." and walked off. Sooo...is she saying Im gay? I have found a serious lack of social skills in these parts. It has nothing to do with education either. Women seem to be the worst. Seriously, I couldnt even make this stuff up.
So after 6 yrs I pretty much realized I will never make a friend here. For a long time it bothered me but now I have just accepted it. I work from home so that limits opportunities. That kind of stinks but it is what it is. I have visited Indy a few times and I have to say I got a really good vibe from the city. I felt comfortable right away and not even sure why. It just felt like a place I could fit in. Carmel? Not so much. I didnt get a good vibe there at all.
Ahh well. So I focus on what I do like. I like that sales people bend over backwards to help me. The polite cashiers at the local grocery store. I like the shopping. I love my house and the disposable income to do things I couldnt before. Its basically all financial but that is okay for now. When my son graduates from high school then maybe we will move. Not sure really. I could live anywhere with my job but my husband's line of work is a dying field so not much opportunity to bounce around. I do think the food is pretty terrible around here but I like all the choices of the stores. I cook at home more now than I ever did. Easy to find ingredients for rare dishes because it seems people are more health savvy.
this is my typical daily experience here....carmel, fishers, indy...everywhere here
its what it is, and no local can deny it, although they do
You do realize your only legitimate complaints were the people are rude and the weather sucks, right? Not a whole lot to hate on, one is interpretive and the other isn't really the state's fault.
Indiana has a lot more to offer than most states. I would pick Indiana over any southern state or any Great Plains state easily, there is a LOT more happening in the Indy area, or the southern part of the state near Louisville than most places. If you have a problem with some of the people, it's not a reflection of all 6 million people that live in Indiana, it's probably just you.
You have to be kidding me. Just about every state in the South is better than here. I even prefer ALABAMA with Huntsville over Indianapolis. Has decent jobs, but the pay stagnates.
You have to be kidding me. Just about every state in the South is better than here. I even prefer ALABAMA with Huntsville over Indianapolis. Has decent jobs, but the pay stagnates.
Huntsville over Indy? hahahaha. "Life is like a box of chocolates "
I also find Indy bland but comparing it to Huntsville is laughable. Even compared to Birmingham and Huntsville combined, Indy is better.
I have found that most of the newcomers who always seem to have issues with local natives are people that weren't too happy about moving to the new town in the 1st place, so they start out with a sour attitude to begin with and they come across as bitter and arrogant, and that kind of behavior turns locals off to the point they won't be interested in trying to get to know that new person. Whenever a person makes the move to a new region, if they want to have an active social life, its up to that new person to make friends with the locals. The newcomer will need to be assertive and put his or her self out there. If a newcomer is shy by nature, moving to a strange city where they know absolutely nobody can make for a difficult and unpleasnt experience. New arrivals should not expect to have locals bow down to them simply because they are new in town. It don't work that way.
Last edited by Ivory Lee Spurlock; 03-28-2017 at 01:38 PM..
Another neighbor had a party and invited the whole neighborhood. I thought that was nice and gave it another chance. I had a pleasant conversation with her, we talked about doing lunch sometime and I thought wow, this is cool. She throws another party gets tipsy and starts going off about unions, democrats...how they are ruining the country. Sigh. We grew up in union families and my husband is a union worker. Also add we are democrats. My husband and I bit our tongues and didnt say much until the hostess really started going off and saying some serious untruths and referring to union workers a monkeys. Well then my dear husband couldn't bite his tongue anymore. He politely debated her and she got so upset she stormed out of the room. Okay, stagger actually. Of course everyone at the party looked as us like we were jerks. One guy gave me a serious stare down and said, "we are republican around here." We havent been invited to another party since.
My husband is popular at his job and has a ton of friends. He is always getting invites to watch a game, invited to a party etc. He said I should meet some of the wives. Cold shoulders all around. One lady I have met three times and she purposely refuses to remember my name. I have a very common name, not hard to pronounce or spell. Each time she pretends i dont exist or will say, "Oh...I dont know your name. What is it again? Oh I will just call you Mrs. Fallingwater." No budding friendship there. She doesnt mind making sexual jokes toward my husband though. Another couple my husband invited over. The guys were going on about the game and the wife told me she hated my kitchen and if it were her house, she would rip it out. My son has a friend who parents seemed pretty cool. The father is really down to earth. The mother showed up to pick up her son and was cold as ice. We made small talk and when she got out to the driveway, she took one look at my Subaru and said, "Those are popular in the gay community." and walked off. Sooo...is she saying Im gay? I have found a serious lack of social skills in these parts. It has nothing to do with education either. Women seem to be the worst. Seriously, I couldnt even make this stuff up.
So after 6 yrs I pretty much realized I will never make a friend here. For a long time it bothered me but now I have just accepted it. I work from home so that limits opportunities. That kind of stinks but it is what it is. I have visited Indy a few times and I have to say I got a really good vibe from the city. I felt comfortable right away and not even sure why. It just felt like a place I could fit in. Carmel? Not so much. I didnt get a good vibe there at all.
Fallingwater, are you living in an Indianapolis suburb or somewhere else? My husband and I are strongly considering a move to the Indianapolis area (Fishers/Noblesville area is the top choice at the moment, with the Avon/Plainfield area in 2nd place), and I have to admit that your post scares me! I've read so many positive things about the area and we are pretty excited about the prospect of moving there (affordable homes AND great schools??!!), but we are democrats from Orange County, CA, and I hate to think that people are so close-minded that they can't be friends with those who don't share all of their beliefs. Certainly we have Republican friends, Libertarian friends, and we all manage to get along, KWIM?
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I didnt have a problem fitting in or making friends where I am from. My husband actually was the more unpopular person and now the roles have reversed. Everyone seems to really like him here and I am the one people back away from.
The woman next door seemed judgy right from the get go. She drilled me with questions and some were inappropriate. It didnt take long for me to realize she likes to gossip about the neighbors. She has nicknames for everyone. The big people, the mixed couple, the family with the fat children (she doesnt like heavy set people apparently). Her BFF across the street is timid and looks terrifed talking to me. I can tell the woman next door rules her roost and her friendship. This woman asked one time if I had been a teenage mother. Who asks something like that? 
I put up with this for 2 yrs. One day she and I were making small talk and she made fun of a boy walking by. He is about 15 yrs old and I could tell something was different about him. She told me he was autistic. She joked he didnt need a halloween costume, just an axe. Implying he was creepy. That was enough for me. I told her in a polite and firm way I didnt like that kind of talk. The first time I had ever said anything to her in 2 yrs that I thought she was being rude. So now she wont even wave to me. She likes my husband though and will catch him when he gets home from work and chews his ear off. If I come outside she walks off. 
My son has a friend who parents seemed pretty cool. The father is really down to earth. The mother showed up to pick up her son and was cold as ice. We made small talk and when she got out to the driveway, she took one look at my Subaru and said, "Those are popular in the gay community." and walked off. 
Sooo...is she saying Im gay? 
