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I mean absolute no disrespect to people who are from Indiana or who enjoy living here, but I have to admit that the time I've lived here, I've been the most unhappiest. The people are just not what I'm used to - they're very cliquish and standoffish. We've lived here for many years and still only know a few people - ironically, the people we do know are from out of state as well.
I got used to the land being so flat and seeing cornfields everywhere I went, but it doesn't feel like home - it feels more like a prison. I'm perplexed because I've been to neighboring states (OH, IL and MI) and don't get the same vibe as in Indy.
Where I'm from, if you make eye contact with someone you don't know, you smile and acknowledge that person. Here if you make eye contact with someone, he/she just glares back. It's eerie.
My husband is being transferred to TX within the next 2 years and will be happy to move. I won't have any desire to ever come back or will I miss anything about Indiana. Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to understand why things are the way they are
Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!
I'm posting out of frustration. I do want to enjoy my time here, and I have tried. Anyone else experience this?
Not in Indy. I've never lived there. But I experienced something like that in PA. It was a very off the beaten path area. Coal Miner country. People didn't like outsiders.
Are you sure that it's the whole state? I think my experience there was peculiar to that area of PA.
I think it is a matter of a person's attitude. The OP sounds like a nice enough person, so I can't speak to why she can't meet people or feel welcomed. I am a native of Texas but have also lived in other states through the years. I have known friendly people and not so friendly people everywhere I have lived. I have never been to Indiana so I can't comment on that, but I have heard people are friendly there. As far as the weather, all I can say is I hope she will be happy with hot! I'm used to it but can't say I always am happy with the heat. Texas, Indiana or any state you choose to live in all have pros and cons. Your life and happiness there will depend on what you make of it. I believe a person's attitude and outlook on life can help them be content and happy no matter where they may choose to live.
Indiana is America's eyesore. It's not a fun state. I think if you are past 50, you are probably just staying in Indiana for the rest of your life and have accepted it by now. The ONLY people I know that like Indiana are lifers. A lot of them(the younger ones) are extremely cocky and think they are better then everyone. My guess is its because that's the only thing keeping them from going over the edge.
My biggest 2 complaints about Indiana are the people and the weather. Being that I used to live in the south and that's where all my family is, it's a big shock how rude people are in Indiana(Most the people in Bloomington are nice due to its "south" culture) and how crappy the weather is. It can snow and be in the 80's within 24 hours of each other. No joke. Sometimes in a 7 day time period you will spend 3 1/2 days running the AC and 3 1/2 days running the heat. I'm not kidding. It's ridiculous.
Now, I will say, if I was forced to stay in Indiana due to family or a great job I would only do it if it was in Bloomington or a suburb of Indianapolis.(Noblesville or Carmel would be my choices). I am moving out of Indiana in a few weeks and I doubt I will ever come back to visit ever again but I really will miss Bloomington somedays. It really is a good place to be(for Indiana).
Also, keep in mind Indiana operates just like the good ole' USA in general...the farther South you go the nicer the people. (North of Indy=rude, stuck-up, etc.) (South of Indy=down to earth)
You do realize your only legitimate complaints were the people are rude and the weather sucks, right? Not a whole lot to hate on, one is interpretive and the other isn't really the state's fault.
Indiana has a lot more to offer than most states. I would pick Indiana over any southern state or any Great Plains state easily, there is a LOT more happening in the Indy area, or the southern part of the state near Louisville than most places. If you have a problem with some of the people, it's not a reflection of all 6 million people that live in Indiana, it's probably just you.
I can see where the OP is coming from. My experiences living in Indiana have been...well odd. I can only account my experience of one part of the state though. I dont find strangers to be rude. In my experience its actually been the opposite. In fact, just yesterday I went to a local flea market. I was standing outside and a woman was walking up. She didnt look very friendly at first but when she locked eyes with me, she smiled and said hello. It was genuine. The problems I have encountered are past the hello stage, trying to make friends or become part of a group. It kind of makes me feel bad, wondering what part of my personality turns people off before they even get to know me. I didnt have a problem fitting in or making friends where I am from. My husband actually was the more unpopular person and now the roles have reversed. Everyone seems to really like him here and I am the one people back away from.
My first experience of being on the outs was the first few days of living here. My husband moved here first and met a realtor. He had worked with her for about 3 months, she helped him get a rental and I spoke with her on the phone. Everything seemed great. When I finally joined my husband I took over the house hunting (which he told her was going to happen, he had to focus on his job) and I got a vibe right away she didnt like me. My husband said I was being silly. She constantly dismissed my concerns and only took my husband seriously. A few times she was pretty snotty with me and I told my husband I wanted to drop her. When I showed him the listings she gave us, he was perplexed on why they were not in the area we asked for. So he had a talk with her about it and she pretty much told him that she thought I was talking him into buying more than what he really wanted. Well that didnt go over well. My husband then realized she was being a problem and suggested that we should part ways with her. She changed her tune then. She was no longer rude to me but very cold. We found a house we wanted, closed and never spoke to her again. Sometimes she sends us a new business card. It goes in the trash.
Then I met the neighbors. The woman next door seemed judgy right from the get go. She drilled me with questions and some were inappropriate. It didnt take long for me to realize she likes to gossip about the neighbors. She has nicknames for everyone. The big people, the mixed couple, the family with the fat children (she doesnt like heavy set people apparently). Her BFF across the street is timid and looks terrifed talking to me. I can tell the woman next door rules her roost and her friendship. This woman asked one time if I had been a teenage mother. Who asks something like that? I put up with this for 2 yrs. One day she and I were making small talk and she made fun of a boy walking by. He is about 15 yrs old and I could tell something was different about him. She told me he was autistic. She joked he didnt need a halloween costume, just an axe. Implying he was creepy. That was enough for me. I told her in a polite and firm way I didnt like that kind of talk. The first time I had ever said anything to her in 2 yrs that I thought she was being rude. So now she wont even wave to me. She likes my husband though and will catch him when he gets home from work and chews his ear off. If I come outside she walks off.
Another neighbor had a party and invited the whole neighborhood. I thought that was nice and gave it another chance. I had a pleasant conversation with her, we talked about doing lunch sometime and I thought wow, this is cool. She throws another party gets tipsy and starts going off about unions, democrats...how they are ruining the country. Sigh. We grew up in union families and my husband is a union worker. Also add we are democrats. My husband and I bit our tongues and didnt say much until the hostess really started going off and saying some serious untruths and referring to union workers a monkeys. Well then my dear husband couldn't bite his tongue anymore. He politely debated her and she got so upset she stormed out of the room. Okay, stagger actually. Of course everyone at the party looked as us like we were jerks. One guy gave me a serious stare down and said, "we are republican around here." We havent been invited to another party since.
My husband is popular at his job and has a ton of friends. He is always getting invites to watch a game, invited to a party etc. He said I should meet some of the wives. Cold shoulders all around. One lady I have met three times and she purposely refuses to remember my name. I have a very common name, not hard to pronounce or spell. Each time she pretends i dont exist or will say, "Oh...I dont know your name. What is it again? Oh I will just call you Mrs. Fallingwater." No budding friendship there. She doesnt mind making sexual jokes toward my husband though. Another couple my husband invited over. The guys were going on about the game and the wife told me she hated my kitchen and if it were her house, she would rip it out. My son has a friend who parents seemed pretty cool. The father is really down to earth. The mother showed up to pick up her son and was cold as ice. We made small talk and when she got out to the driveway, she took one look at my Subaru and said, "Those are popular in the gay community." and walked off. Sooo...is she saying Im gay? I have found a serious lack of social skills in these parts. It has nothing to do with education either. Women seem to be the worst. Seriously, I couldnt even make this stuff up.
So after 6 yrs I pretty much realized I will never make a friend here. For a long time it bothered me but now I have just accepted it. I work from home so that limits opportunities. That kind of stinks but it is what it is. I have visited Indy a few times and I have to say I got a really good vibe from the city. I felt comfortable right away and not even sure why. It just felt like a place I could fit in. Carmel? Not so much. I didnt get a good vibe there at all.
Ahh well. So I focus on what I do like. I like that sales people bend over backwards to help me. The polite cashiers at the local grocery store. I like the shopping. I love my house and the disposable income to do things I couldnt before. Its basically all financial but that is okay for now. When my son graduates from high school then maybe we will move. Not sure really. I could live anywhere with my job but my husband's line of work is a dying field so not much opportunity to bounce around. I do think the food is pretty terrible around here but I like all the choices of the stores. I cook at home more now than I ever did. Easy to find ingredients for rare dishes because it seems people are more health savvy.
Also, keep in mind Indiana operates just like the good ole' USA in general...the farther South you go the nicer the people. (North of Indy=rude, stuck-up, etc.) (South of Indy=down to earth)
So what if one was raised in the rude northern part of the state, lived there most of one's life and now lives in the down to earth part of the state? I suppose I'm just rude and stuck up some days and down to earh on others?
These kind of broad generalizations are ludicrous.
BTW-what does it say about you to that you're making such a statement? I thought you were from the friendly, polite south?
Fallingwater-I would be your friend. I don't like the type of people you're describing, and we had a Subaru years ago. I like the commercials.
Last edited by rrah; 05-26-2013 at 05:54 AM..
Reason: addition
I It was like stepping into a time warp when I moved back - I lived on the westside not long before I left in the late 80s, and I swear that little has changed in that Noble Roman's since.Weird, really weird. RM
Time warp really - then you haven't been to Wyoming. It's now 2013 - well into the 21st Century, yet most of that state is still in the early 1940's.
You do realize your only legitimate complaints were the people are rude and the weather sucks, right? Not a whole lot to hate on, one is interpretive and the other isn't really the state's fault. Indiana has a lot more to offer than most states. I would pick Indiana over any southern state or any Great Plains state easily, there is a LOT more happening in the Indy area, or the southern part of the state near Louisville than most places. If you have a problem with some of the people, it's not a reflection of all 6 million people that live in Indiana, it's probably just you.
You got that RIGHT!!!
Indiana is much better than any of the surrounding states. It has jobs again - it's recovering without much help from the Feds. Home prices are starting to rise and it would be my pick of states to move my company to, if I was to have a voice in that.
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I didnt have a problem fitting in or making friends where I am from. My husband actually was the more unpopular person and now the roles have reversed. Everyone seems to really like him here and I am the one people back away from.
The woman next door seemed judgy right from the get go. She drilled me with questions and some were inappropriate. It didnt take long for me to realize she likes to gossip about the neighbors. She has nicknames for everyone. The big people, the mixed couple, the family with the fat children (she doesnt like heavy set people apparently). Her BFF across the street is timid and looks terrifed talking to me. I can tell the woman next door rules her roost and her friendship. This woman asked one time if I had been a teenage mother. Who asks something like that? 
I put up with this for 2 yrs. One day she and I were making small talk and she made fun of a boy walking by. He is about 15 yrs old and I could tell something was different about him. She told me he was autistic. She joked he didnt need a halloween costume, just an axe. Implying he was creepy. That was enough for me. I told her in a polite and firm way I didnt like that kind of talk. The first time I had ever said anything to her in 2 yrs that I thought she was being rude. So now she wont even wave to me. She likes my husband though and will catch him when he gets home from work and chews his ear off. If I come outside she walks off. 
My son has a friend who parents seemed pretty cool. The father is really down to earth. The mother showed up to pick up her son and was cold as ice. We made small talk and when she got out to the driveway, she took one look at my Subaru and said, "Those are popular in the gay community." and walked off. 
