Dealing with "lost looks" (lotion, curly, moisturizer, buy)
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My grandmother was in her 60s before she started getting fine lines and wrinkles in her face. My mom is turning 60 and she doesn't have any wrinkles or sagging face. And neither of them ate particularly healthy or drank much water. I'm a health nut...fruits and veggies everyday, working out daily, etc....so I'm not worried about my face looking bad anytime soon.
Childbirth and nursing didn't do my boobs any favors, but that is being fixed soon. Other than that, my body looks pretty good for a 40 year old mom of 2. I figure by the time things go south I'll be too old to really care. LOL
You don't have to be 40s or above to start seeing anything change. My entire life I didn't have to make much of an effort, not that it would have helped since everyone thought I was still young, much younger than I was, and never took me seriously. As if being young means you have no experiences....
ANYWAY, I did drive airboats in the Miami sun for 4 years, and I now have a wrinkle on my forehead....and I'd prefer no condescending remarks about "oooh, one wrinkle", because I'm responding to the OP's question.
I would never have called myself a 'beauty'. As another poster pointed out, I have always been called 'cute'. Never pretty, never beautiful....cute. You know, like a kid.
Now I know I can cover this thing with bangs, and no one will know unless it's a windy day, but it struck me hard. A fricken wrinkle. And I know that it's only going to get more prominent the older that I get. And there's not a thing that I can do about that. (I will never inject garbage in to my skin.) And I will have to learn to live with it. I get all of that.
But the initial shock of it all...to KNOW that you are getting older. You are not young. Facing the reality that you are not invincible, as so many young people think that they are...that you're going to get more, and that most people who get older also get bigger ears, bigger noses, can possibly lose their teeth...it's like you transform in to someone you don't recognize.
I see photos of people...like I remember when I was way younger, teens, and would look up the actors from the Golden Girls re-runs, because I thought those ladies were hilarious. I wanted to know what Blanche looked like when she was younger. What did Betty White look like when she was younger. Heck, what did Sophia look like when she was younger. The difference is unbelievable - even with taking care of yourself, having the money to do so, have make up artists and hair stylists on set to make you look your best...they looked like different people. That's what scares me.
We can dye our hair, we can have it cut to hide some things, we can slather on the sun screen, (although it does not help when you work outside in Miami because it sweats right off), we can wear hats, we can exercise, eat food that gives us more moisturizing from the inside, food that is good for our skin and nails, etc. But it will not stop that process.
And it's pointless to get botox or whatever, because people can still see your neck and your hands - you're not fooling anyone with botox.
I think this could be one of the reasons that people go through a mid-life crisis...I don't know, I'm not there yet...but it's the idea that you can no longer deny that you do not have endless time, as it feels like you do when you're younger. That's what that damn wrinkle made me think about. And this society is very youth oriented...probably always has been, but I wonder if it's even more so these days...which means not only do you have to face the fact that you do not have limitless time like you were able to lie to yourself when younger, you also get treated differently. I see people treat older people differently. If they aren't rude and think that old people are stupid, they treat old people like they were dumb little children - talking to them slowly, in high pitched voices.
Is it really about the looks, or is it about facing reality of our impending doom one day, and the fact that society will treat older people differently, and not always nicely?
Well, do you depend on your looks to get you preferential treatment? If so, you'd better learn how to be charming and smile a lot since the way strangers treat you will change. As for basically everyone else, it's actually a lot easier when you get older and don't have to worry about being in the mode anymore.
For anyone of any age, if you want to be beautiful, smile and have a sunny disposition. Listen to other folks and get them talking about themselves, you'll be beautiful no matter what you look like.
You don't have to be 40s or above to start seeing anything change. My entire life I didn't have to make much of an effort, not that it would have helped since everyone thought I was still young, much younger than I was, and never took me seriously. As if being young means you have no experiences....
ANYWAY, I did drive airboats in the Miami sun for 4 years, and I now have a wrinkle on my forehead....and I'd prefer no condescending remarks about "oooh, one wrinkle", because I'm responding to the OP's question.
I would never have called myself a 'beauty'. As another poster pointed out, I have always been called 'cute'. Never pretty, never beautiful....cute. You know, like a kid.
Now I know I can cover this thing with bangs, and no one will know unless it's a windy day, but it struck me hard. A fricken wrinkle. And I know that it's only going to get more prominent the older that I get. And there's not a thing that I can do about that. (I will never inject garbage in to my skin.) And I will have to learn to live with it. I get all of that.
But the initial shock of it all...to KNOW that you are getting older. You are not young. Facing the reality that you are not invincible, as so many young people think that they are...that you're going to get more, and that most people who get older also get bigger ears, bigger noses, can possibly lose their teeth...it's like you transform in to someone you don't recognize.
I see photos of people...like I remember when I was way younger, teens, and would look up the actors from the Golden Girls re-runs, because I thought those ladies were hilarious. I wanted to know what Blanche looked like when she was younger. What did Betty White look like when she was younger. Heck, what did Sophia look like when she was younger. The difference is unbelievable - even with taking care of yourself, having the money to do so, have make up artists and hair stylists on set to make you look your best...they looked like different people. That's what scares me.
We can dye our hair, we can have it cut to hide some things, we can slather on the sun screen, (although it does not help when you work outside in Miami because it sweats right off), we can wear hats, we can exercise, eat food that gives us more moisturizing from the inside, food that is good for our skin and nails, etc. But it will not stop that process.
And it's pointless to get botox or whatever, because people can still see your neck and your hands - you're not fooling anyone with botox.
I think this could be one of the reasons that people go through a mid-life crisis...I don't know, I'm not there yet...but it's the idea that you can no longer deny that you do not have endless time, as it feels like you do when you're younger. That's what that damn wrinkle made me think about. And this society is very youth oriented...probably always has been, but I wonder if it's even more so these days...which means not only do you have to face the fact that you do not have limitless time like you were able to lie to yourself when younger, you also get treated differently. I see people treat older people differently. If they aren't rude and think that old people are stupid, they treat old people like they were dumb little children - talking to them slowly, in high pitched voices.
Is it really about the looks, or is it about facing reality of our impending doom one day, and the fact that society will treat older people differently, and not always nicely?
Very thoughtful post!
A big part of it for me is the "not recognizing myself" since I've always looked about ten years younger (at least) than my chronological age; I'm also very athletic and active, so any hint of being "old" is just at odds with how I feel and think I look. Ask anyone of any age, and they'll likely tell you they feel like they're still 18 inside. Our souls don't change, but our bodies do; I think that creates cognitive dissonance. At least until you adjust to it. I looked great until a couple of years ago; menopause, caregiving, sleep deprivation, and a combination of losses took its toll on me. Again, it's an adjustment. And I would never submit to cosmetic surgery; once you start with that stuff, where do you stop?
It's so weird for me because I stress about getting older and looking older, but at the same time I'm pretty okay with where I'm at so far. Sometimes I'll just see a change in a picture or in the mirror and ask myself if there's anything I can do to change it. If so, I do it. If not, I just try to make the best of it. In the end, I'm not fooling anyone.
It would be harder on those that were very beautiful and relied on their looks. I see some celebrities and feel like they post more "throwback" photos of themselves than current ones. Two come into mind - Cindy Crawford and Kim Kardashian. Cindy has aged but Kim just destroyed her face with enhancements.
I think I would just be happy that I was once that beautiful and have photos to look back on, then just age gracefully and die. Easier said and done of course because here I am losing loads of hair, thinking, I need to find a man before I lose all this hair and nobody wants me!
It would be harder on those that were very beautiful and relied on their looks. I see some celebrities and feel like they post more "throwback" photos of themselves than current ones. Two come into mind - Cindy Crawford and Kim Kardashian. Cindy has aged but Kim just destroyed her face with enhancements.
I think I would just be happy that I was once that beautiful and have photos to look back on, then just age gracefully and die. Easier said and done of course because here I am losing loads of hair, thinking, I need to find a man before I lose all this hair and nobody wants me!
she was already a pretty girl
ruined it
God alone knows what she'll look like at 60
Those Kardashians also have a wild lifestyle - drugs booze etc, even the Jenner ones
That will wreck their looks quicker than anything
See: Kim Richards who is about my age yet looks 20 years older due to the booze the pills and the facelifts
Kim Richards looks BUSTED - so sad for anyone who remembers her gorgeous child actor status.
I would not exchange the signs of aging for the peace of mind I have now, and the feeling of being centered.
.
Same here! I was seriously hot when I was young....like, a seriously hot mess. So much better being old and sane and not driven by wildly fluctuating hormones.
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