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Why not just quit smoking? You could put that money in a bank account and put your children through college on it --- or just use it to do charitable work.
But injecting your face with that mess so you can smoke cigs? Uggghhhhh. Don't get it.
Why I smoke is not the topic on hand. I dont want to quit. I make very good money, thank u very much. Stay on the topic on hand and dont bring up my income, kids or social life into this topic.
"Let's see - this works for me - I'll spend thousands of dollars a year on smokes, which will probably kill me - and then to offset the skin damage I'll spend thousands more to have poison injected into my skin. So I'll just pay thousands and thousands of dollars to put all sorts of toxins in my body, rather than give up smoking."
I'm not having any problem focusing. The topic is "dealing with lost looks." Smoking negatively affects one's looks, and often causes premature aging, pronounced wrinkling, etc., whether you choose to focus on those facts or not.
It is better to have had good looks and lost them, than to never have had good looks at all. Seriously.
Hmm, I disagree... some women who might've been considered plain (or worse, "homely") in their younger years, can age well like a fine wine, and then they wind up being considered elegant and attractive in their golden years. Personality, character, a sense of humour, a bit of flair... those are all qualities that get good mileage.
It sure beats being a middle aged woman who feels wounded, betrayed, and lost without the vanity of her youth.
As an unattractive male with poor body image, I always wanted to look older. Now that I'm here, at 44, finally that is beginning to change, and I dye my beard because "I'm too young to be all gray". That's beard only, my full head of hair is still mostly brown. My brother in law (age 48) was VERY good looking when younger, and still is from a distance, but up close he looks terrible. Kinda sad. Looks do fade, though, its a fact of life.
As an unattractive male with poor body image, I always wanted to look older. Now that I'm here, at 44, finally that is beginning to change, and I dye my beard because "I'm too young to be all gray". That's beard only, my full head of hair is still mostly brown. My brother in law (age 48) was VERY good looking when younger, and still is from a distance, but up close he looks terrible. Kinda sad. Looks do fade, though, its a fact of life.
Yeah... I have to admit to some vanity, like dying my hair, and wearing some makeup to add some colour to my fading looks. Can't get away with going without makeup as I did in my 20s... things do change. On the other hand... I wear brighter colours, and have more self-assurance than I ever did in my 20s. My 20s are irreplaceable. But my 40s are probably just as irreplaceable!
If I "lost my looks" due to the ravages of a disease or very poor health, or a scarring accident or injury, something like that, I think it would be a lot more distressing than simply aging. Looking my age (54) doesn't bother me in the least - in fact, I'm strongly considering letting my hair go natural (vs coloring it) and would have already done this if my husband hadn't looked at me with horror when I mentioned it a few years ago (I think I'm just not going to make a big deal out of it and just gradually go lighter and lighter). This from a man who does have a head full of gorgeous - AND COMPLETELY GRAY - hair so I really don't know what his hangup is but it's his hangup, not mine.
Like I said in an earlier post, I actually like my face more now than I did when I was in my twenties - it has more definition, more character, more maturity and I just LIKE it better.
Now - my body? Yeah, it would be nice to have the muscle tone and the body I had when I was 20 or 30. But guess what - I don't and I never will again and I've accepted that. I do have more appreciation for my body now though.
Every season has it's beauty, and to me, middle age and elderly age both have their types of beauty as well. What I think the OP might have meant was "dealing with lost YOUTHFULNESS OF BODY." I don't know. But I do know that dealing with lost YOUTH and dealing with lost LOOKS can mean the same thing to some people - and mean something entirely different to others.
I've lost my youthful body. It was only mine for a season anyway, so that was inevitable. I haven't lost other attributes that we often associate with youth though - and maybe I never will. Anyway, my life at 54, including my face and my body, sure beats all other realistic alternatives!
If I "lost my looks" due to the ravages of a disease or very poor health, or a scarring accident or injury, something like that, I think it would be a lot more distressing than simply aging. Looking my age (54) doesn't bother me in the least - in fact, I'm strongly considering letting my hair go natural (vs coloring it) and would have already done this if my husband hadn't looked at me with horror when I mentioned it a few years ago (I think I'm just not going to make a big deal out of it and just gradually go lighter and lighter). This from a man who does have a head full of gorgeous - AND COMPLETELY GRAY - hair so I really don't know what his hangup is but it's his hangup, not mine.
Like I said in an earlier post, I actually like my face more now than I did when I was in my twenties - it has more definition, more character, more maturity and I just LIKE it better.
Now - my body? Yeah, it would be nice to have the muscle tone and the body I had when I was 20 or 30. But guess what - I don't and I never will again and I've accepted that. I do have more appreciation for my body now though.
Every season has it's beauty, and to me, middle age and elderly age both have their types of beauty as well. What I think the OP might have meant was "dealing with lost YOUTHFULNESS OF BODY." I don't know. But I do know that dealing with lost YOUTH and dealing with lost LOOKS can mean the same thing to some people - and mean something entirely different to others.
I've lost my youthful body. It was only mine for a season anyway, so that was inevitable. I haven't lost other attributes that we often associate with youth though - and maybe I never will. Anyway, my life at 54, including my face and my body, sure beats all other realistic alternatives!
Kathryn, you put this so well. I 100% agree. At 54 you are still young to me! I am now 66. I too have lost my "youthful body." It still has a good shape and good muscle tone, but the skin covering is now much looser, and there is not a thing I can do about that. But like you, I actually in a lot of ways feel better about my body than I did when much younger. I feel more confident in my own skin. The confidence I have in myself seems to be radiating out and attracting as much attention as my youthful looks once did. It is empowering to me, so it makes getting older pretty much OK.
I also agree that there is beauty at every stage of life, young tight bodies aren't the only things that are beautiful. And as you know, I am growing out my silver hair (which is actually still salt and pepper) and liking it! I think if you don't make a big deal out of it your husband will love it. I know mine does. He has admitted that the dark hair was too much. And now that the top of my hair is light (the silver along with the streaks I put in) I see how much more flattering it is and will be.
This is all a journey, and it's good to enjoy every step of the way!
Hmm, I disagree... some women who might've been considered plain (or worse, "homely") in their younger years, can age well like a fine wine, and then they wind up being considered elegant and attractive in their golden years. Personality, character, a sense of humour, a bit of flair... those are all qualities that get good mileage.
It sure beats being a middle aged woman who feels wounded, betrayed, and lost without the vanity of her youth.
Yep this is so. I was more "hot" than beautiful, I had a lot of sex appeal and kickass hourglass figure (but with stubby fat legs always), now am not, figure is dumpy and matronly and legs even fatter, and I am GOOD with that.
Having HAD "it" and lost "it", is harder I think, as you mourn the loss/feel the difference whereas gals who never turned male heads don't experience that "change", that shift in male attention.
I dig being a plain Jane and being ignored by men, now, I honestly dig it. My face is still pretty wrinkle free but I use no makeup, I used to do great eye makeup and lips.
Had I not also lost my sex drive I think not looking sexy/attracting leering looks would bother me more.
Not wanting sex/not wanting a man helps a lot for me as far as being good with the loss of looks.
If I wanted to date I think I'd be devastated, as my looks used to make attracting suitors easy peasy.
Gawd knows I won't be attracting em with my (lousy) personality and lumpy body nowadays
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