Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
Maybe this should be in the psychology thread, but... Former "beauties," how do you handle the invariable ravages of age?
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I am a male, but I think I can contribute here.
I
USED to be "cute, thin {height/weight proportionate}, had hair,and over all 'good looking'".
Aging is something we all do, and unless you have buckets of money and know a good plastic surgeon,
YOU have to learn to adapt and change
YOUR perceptions of what "beauty is".
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
The first to go was my hairline, it started receding about the time I graduated HS at 18. I HATED bald men's looks, so now I WAS going to be one. I got used to it as my hair thinned, receded and disappeared. I still have a fair amount of hair, but it is thin or not there in front/on top.
SO, MY perceptions of balding/bald men changed.
Next, I have also gained weight due to medications I take, something I NEVER thought I would do,as I had been a skinny minnnie until about age 42. Then, along with the proverbial middle-age spread, I gained a belly and my thighs got fat. So I HAD to get "used to" having "a few extra pounds' or a "beer belly" {though I don't drink beer} and being "{more than} Pleasantly plump".
So, MY perceptions of "fat people' changed.
I am now heading for mid-fifties. My beard was going gray a long time ago {again starting about age 42-45}. Because it was red and "Just for Men" doesn't make a red beard coloring, and red hair doesn't take to beards or last long and look good, I
HAD to get used to letting it go gray
BEFORE I could really color it. SO I had
TIME to get used to the gray. It never really bothered me. Once it was mostly gray, i opted for a beard dye of a mild "light medium brown" {their name for it, not mine} to kind of match my light brown hair.
BUT by then, my light brown hair was...you guessed it...going gray too at the temples.
SO, MY perceptions of gray changed.
I am now, though disabled and get around with a cane, I am embarking on seriously loosing weight, adding more exercise to my daily routine, which will mean i will have some "sag and drag" of skin as I/if I manage to loose the amount of weight I'd want to.
So, MY perceptions of "sag and drag" of flabby skin on people who have lost a lot of weight changed.
Wrinkles: well they are just starting around my eyes and i have had an "upside down smile" frown lines for years. preparation H cooling gel {designed to shrink tissues} works well at tightening the wrinkles. it's what Oprah's makeup artist used on her for years, and she was mortified to find out! I don't have a lot of wrinkle,s but I have had skin caner removed from my forehead and skin graft of collar bone skin done to my forehead, so my forehead "doens't look right. I COULD cover it up with concealer, but again, I can't be bothered to do so, and
MY perceptions of wrinkles and less than perfect facial skin changed.
AS I have aged, and When I look at people my age,
I have changed my perceptions as to what I find attractive in both female and male counterparts. I am NOT an "adonis" and don't expect other men my age to look like one either. I also don't expect females to look like a raving beauty anymore and frankly younger men and women, especially those
with good looks turn me off now! Its not that i am jealous, they "just don't do it for me anymore". I get sickened when they show some young stud actor on TV who has an 8 pack of abs! Miss America/Universe women? nah, not my type anymore.
MY perceptions of what is beautiful has changed.
I have found out I can no longer keep up with the younger generation, either in walking, ideals, memories, music tastes, etc. SO I am no longer desiring to be "young and hip"....I am rather becoming an "old fogie". I have been to Disney World several times in days of the past-so much so I could give the tour-, but doubt I could walk it again. I have climbed a volcano, but doubt I could do it again. I have enough trouble walking to do my shopping at Walmart, but I am not ready to concede to the electric scooters they provide, if i could even get one not already in use.
SO, MY perceptions of "youthfulness desires" have changed.
HAve you noticed a theme here? I and I alone, had to learn to adapt and change my perceptions of what is beautiful and/or what is handsome.
"change is inevitable, adaptation is optional". But stressing over it isn't an option for me.
BEst of luck as you "grow old gracefully".!
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Your lips cant be red enough, nails blue enough
I won't detail my other thoughts here on that.
