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I registered to this forum the day before my precious Lab, Rocky, was laid to rest. I had started reading the messages and gained so much support from each one. That same afternoon, my sweetheart got filled with fluid and I called his doctor and he met me at the clinic. I don't know if this is working, so will stop for now and see if it is posting before I keep writing. Thank you and bless you all.
darbijanr,
So sorry for your loss. It hasnt been even 3 weeks since I lost my 6yr old rottie Sheldon and sometimes the pain is too much to bear but this forum has been such a support to me before and after I lost Sheldon. I hope it helps you too. Your post came up just fine..Tell me more about Rocky, what happened?
Oh, it's good to know this is showing. I didn't finish reading all the messages, I think I stopped at page 80. What happened to sweet Rocky was so fast. On Sunday March 7th, Rocky came to me and had a lump between his eyes. I took him to emergency doctor's and they gave Benedryl and said to see his doctor. Our doctor said that because the lump was there after the large injection of Benedryl, it could be nasal neoplasia - the terms they used on the emergency doctor's report as one of the diagnosis. The doctor took a cytology off the lump and that Friday the diagnosis was cancer. I read as much as I could find, all the cures seemed too much for a dog of Rocky's age - almost 12 1/2. I called another doctor I had knew and valued his opinion, and said he recommended Palliative treatment. Let him enjoy his time as he could. My doctor agreed and he was on Prednisilone and an antibiodic. A week later, he started retaining alot of water, and they suggested reducing the Prednisilone. The nose bleeds became worse with the reduced dose, and the doctor said I could bring it to a full dosage again. A week later, on March 27th, he was so bloated that he could not get up. I called my vet and met me at the clinic. He was going to reduce the fluid but found his blood work was 17 - too low for anesthetic. And he said that he would give him a transfusion. This is the part that I will forever hate myself for, Rocky stayed all night there and the next morning, my husband and I went and he was bleeding from both nostrils, his mouth was clenched and eyes were black. We called our sons to come and had him put to rest. It just seems that we rushed too quickly, after all he had been through the night before. The doctor had called my son as we were driving over to the clinic on Sunday, Palm Sunday, and said "it didn't look good". I guess you should not second guess things, we have read this so often, but it is so hard. Sorry this is so long. For a short illness, so much seemed to happen. I have read the 80 pages and others did so much to help their dear ones, I maybe should have done more, but his age and condition, they said he was frail, I felt it was not best to do that. We had hoped for 3 months, but the doctor said the Prednisilone was not working for him, causing the fluid to retain. And that he was bleeding from somewhere to bring the level to 17. The low end of blood levels is 37, so it was extremely low. But he had been eating and sleeping, it is just the guilt, just too fast, I guess. Thanks for asking, you are kind. What happened with your sweet Sheldon? The pain is truly intense, and it is sometimes just hard to believe. Sheldon was young, bless his heart. Please write about him. Darbi
Last edited by darbijanR; 05-11-2010 at 03:23 PM..
just wanted to give an update on Rudy the schnzauzer. Rudy had stereotactic radiation at Colorado State University in January like Kisses who has that excellent blog. He's doing well a few months out. His nose has cleared up, no longer running, does not sneeze much, and does not have fluid coming out of his eye. All his blood work has come back ok. He did lose hair on his face but it has started growing in white. He had three days of radiation treatment there. Rudy is going on walks and barking at mom for food all the time. I will see him in 10 days when I fly to jersey. Everyday is a bonus day for him and my family.
That is wonderful news about Rudy, the treatments have helped him to feel so much better, and it sounds as many of the symtoms are gone because of them. what a blessing to read good things about Rudy. We are holding him in our prayers, as well as the other families on this forum. Darbi
I am glad to hear that Rudy is doing so well. I really hope that people that have used the cyberknife at Colorado State continue with updates as I would enjoy seeing how things do turn out . I really think at the moment that is the most promising treatment. I had been following cyberknife in treatment of human cancers long before Dash develped cancer and have been impressed with it, thus am thrilled to see the dogs that have gotten it are doing well.
Darbi, I am sorry to hear Rocky's story. At 121/2 and having problems with the Prednisilone he probably would not have tolerated more aggressive treatment well. The risk of putting such a dog under anesthesia for several days in a row which is necessary for any radiation would have been high. That being so and the fact that he had a visual bump between his eyes which may have meant a much more advanced stage where it was taking the path of least resistance and growing out I think you did all you could for him so please do not beat yourself up. In any terminal illness there is only so much that can be done and it does sound like Rocky was having a hard go of it.I know being rushed into the decision to say good bye and having to do it like you did is extremely difficult as we all want that one last night to love on our dogs but sometimes that just isn't what is in the cards and making that decision to end it is all you can do and shows how much you did love Rocky. He knew you loved him and I think if he could come back and tell you he would say Thank you for letting me go. Now comes the hard part and that is fogiving yourself for what you had to do and learning to accept it as what had to be done. You did nothing wrong so please don't hate yourself for any of it. Hug to you and your family.
Alessia, Is Luna's nose peeling? Dash did not have any problem with a peeling nose as his cancer was way up in the sinus by his left eye so that is also where his IMRT beam was aimed. How is Luna doing with her energy level as I know you had mentioned that she is not as active?When do you actually get to meet the oncologist so you can discuss things with him and decide if this is the right thing for both you and Luna?
Jan, thank you for your comforting message. And our deepest sympathy to you on your loss of a beautiful and inspiring friend, Dash.
We wondered about the lump between Rocky's eyes. There was a little pool of blood on the rug the Thursday before. Nothing else until Sunday, when the swelling showed so suddenly. In what we have read, there was so little about written about that type of symptom.
I think we were confused as to what Palliative care meant as well. The Prednisilone appeared to be the cause of the fluid retention. Yet we have read that it is a good medicine for keeping the tumor from growing.
And the low blood level, should we have had bloodwork done? At the first visit, the doctor said, do you want me to "work him up", maybe we should have done that. It might have showed the blood level was low and we could have had a transfusion at that time. I guess our confusion is if Palliative care means only to treat the symptoms, no "heroics" as such. But it seems wrong if his level was low, to not have given him the transfusion. That is our problem. We wanted to make him as comfortable as possible, but knew we could not use radiation for his care.
Rocky was still eating, going to the bathroom and taking walks, right until that morning. I know that he would not have handled anything such as radiation, but we wonder should we have had the "work up" done? You know so much of this disease, and we just haven't a clear picture of what is within the parameters of a palliative treatment. The nosebleeds were cared for with a bag of peas, and as others said, didn't seem to bother him.
Those are the questions that just bother us so. According to what we heard, the fluid would have built up again, and his blood level would have again dropped. Would we have given another transfusion, is that considered Palliative care?
Thank you for your kindness, Jan, we just wish we could know the answers as we have not read about them anywhere, unless missed them in our tears.
Last edited by darbijanR; 05-14-2010 at 04:59 AM..
Hi Darbi,
I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how old or young our sweet dogs are the pain is still pain and the loss is so big. If you have the time to read previous posts ( they start on page 105) you can get a more detailed picture of what happened with my sweet Sheldon but a shortened version is that he developed a runny nose/sneezing in early novemeber which was treated with 3 different antibiotics over a course of 2 months but he did not respond to them. He also was on prendisone which did get rid of all the symptoms but soon as we tapered the dose the symptoms came right back. At the end of January he had a rhinoscopy done which revealed that the crytoform ( the brain case lining the nasal cavity) had been destroyed by either a fungal infection or nasal cancer. The vet believed it to be more of a fungal infection and put him on a anti-fungal drug for 2 months where he didnt get better but didnt get worse. Further testing revealed that his diagnosis was lymphoma but the vet was not convinced and told me to continue the anti-fungal. At the end of march was when Sheldon developed nose bleeds and it appeared like his left eye was drooping, and he appeared in pain. He got worse day by day and on April 22nd I made the choice to put him to rest as I did not want my best friend to suffer. We never actually got a concrete diagnosis but talking with others and another vet we believe it was the nasal cancer. I am not angry with the vets as I know Sheldon was sick and they had told me that Sheldons case was very unique and "grey" because he had no mass and the symptoms are very similar. If I had the chance I would have done everything I could ( chemo. radiation) but never got that far. The only comfort I have is that he is no longer suffering. I know how you feel and the guilt about whether or not you could have done more is sometimes so overwhelming but please listen to Jan as she has/is helping me understand that the our dogs loved us and we gave them the greatest gift of ending their pain. I know I should take my own advice as I still think of Sheldon every minute and will replay every decision in my mind wondering if it was the right thing to do but i hope with time i will be more at peace with my decisions and someday you will be too. Like i said before this blog is definitely a coping skill for me and use it as much as you need. We are all here for you and anyone else that is struggle with this disease or loss.
Alessia,
Yes Sheldon had a lot of nose peeling and as the disease progressed his nostril became white and raw to the point where he couldnt eat out of a bowl because it hurt him too much. Someone told me to put vegtable oil on his nose to make it less dry but it didnt seem to work and he really didnt want to be touched there so i gave up. How is Luna doing today?
Jan,
just wanted to say thank you for everything you say..your words have a big influence on my healing..
Luna is doing the same way at least appearently... in the sense that she doesn't seem to get any worse.
Except: she threw up a couple of times during the week and once there was some mucus in her feces (then everything went back to normal)... her energy level is lower than the one she had till a month and a half ago (the "normal" one, she has always been hyperactive) but seems to have been stable from then on.
Her nose was peeling like a couple of weeks ago (which I thought was more like a symptom connected with fungus and not cancer). I'm going to the radiation center next tuesday.... she needs to repeat the CT scan (!!!!) as the previous one dates back to april, 15th.
I hope other dogs facing this horrible desease now are doing well... and kiss all the dogs up above....
Alessia (and obviously Luna)
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