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I think it's pretty common for 1 person in a relationship to come up with the idea of moving somewhere first, and then showing that place to the other person to "convince" them it could be a good place for the two of them. I think perhaps I shouldn't have used the word "convince" but rather should have said, "Tell me some other positives about MN that would show someone who doesn't know anything about MN that it's a good place to live".
I don't think this is the sign of imbalance in a relationship that you think it is based on using that 1 word.
It's not just the one word, although it's also that. It's that she has VERY valid reasons for being uninterested in, unwilling, and unable to relocate at this time (friends of many decades, family including an older mother, a vested career with a pension she'd be giving up) and STILL you persist (or whatever you want to call it) simply because you don't like the weather and/or politics of what was her home long before you moved there. You seem unaware or at least unconcerned about the gravity of what you're asking her to give up. Again, how long have you been together? There's no guarantee you'll STAY together, and there she'll be, having given up her home (does she own a house?) and friends, missed out on time with family, and without her pension or as satisfying a job. It sounds like she's the one who needs to "convince" YOU that this isn't in HER best interest.
OP, apologies if you've already answered this and I missed it, but have YOU, yourself, ever been to Minnesota? I realize that it checks a lot of your boxes, and sounds like a pretty good deal on paper; but do you have any first-hand experience with it? You have said that you are planning on visiting in the summer and again in the winter, and I think this is a very good idea. But if you haven't already been there, I hope you will be open to the possibility that you will get there and decide that it may not be right for you, after all.
You need to start seeing things through her eyes. For you, jumping to a new location is second nature, for her, it is extremely scary & maybe not in her nature. It is all well & good saying you can be happy anywhere, with the one you love, but imo, that is naive. I know very well, that as much as I love my hubby, I would not be happy anywhere where the snow & ice are so prevalent. Plus asking her to leave her Mom, & a long term job, is too much. Maybe look for things you enjoy in your current location. Don't disrupt her life just because you want to be in the snow. Live in her world till she is ready, or move on by yourself.
Thank you Love reading about the literacy rate! I will add that to my list of growing positives about MN.
For those who live in the Twin Cities, how common is it to escape to nature outside of the city? In Atlanta but it's not super common for people to escape for a weekend to our mountains up North or to Lake Lanier (our major lake with water activities). I think people just get quite set in their ways in Atlanta, plus there's so much to do in the city. While the Twin Cities sound fabulous, a big part of the appeal of MN is escaping to nature. I'm just wondering how realistic that is, say to go up to the North Shore for a 5 day trip of skiing and exploring along Lake Superior, or a quick weekend getaway to Duluth? I get the impression long weekend escapes are more normalized there?
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Originally Posted by cheapdad00
I would think that Atlanta people make weekend trips, maybe just not the Atlanta people who are in your circle. It sounds like you have listed all of the reasons that MN works for you. How many of those are important to your partner? Inertia is difficult to defeat, especially if the government pension is within range. I like the idea of multiple vacations to MN, just pick different times of the year to see if the cold is bearable for her.
cheapdad00 is right.
I’m an on-and-off resident of the Atlanta metropolitan area (metro Atlanta) who is quite familiar with many aspects of life in the Atlanta area.
The OP unfortunately seems to be greatly mistaken if they think that “it's not super common for people to escape for a weekend to our mountains up North or to Lake Lanier” in metro Atlanta.
If anything, a very notable regional water recreation spot like Lake Lanier appears to be too popular of a getaway destination for residents in a landlocked metro Atlanta region given the unacceptably high number of people who drown in the lake while swimming or boating each summer, very often after some ill-advised heavy drinking.
And it can be quite common for many metro Atlantans to getaway or “escape” out of the metro area for the weekend and/or during extended holiday periods (including Spring Break, Thanksgiving Break, and Christmas and New Year’s break) to any of the numerous getaway spots, outdoor recreational areas and tourist destinations around the Southeast.
That’s including to popular Southeastern regional tourist destinations like:
> The Blue Ridge Mountains region north of Atlanta, which includes Amicalola Falls which is one of the three highest waterfalls located east of the Rockies, the Southern Terminus of the roughly 2,200-mile long Appalachian Trail famous hiking path which runs along the mountainous backbone of the Eastern Seaboard between Georgia and Maine, Chattahoochee National Forest (in the North Georgia Blue Ridge Mountains), Nanathala National Forest and Pigsah National Forest (in the Western North Carolina Blue Ridge Mountains), and Great Smoky Mountains National Park (which straddles the state line between the more developed part of the park area on the Tennessee side, and the comparatively less developed part of the park area on the North Carolina side)…
… (There’s some tourist-oriented areas in the Blue Ridge Mountains region that are especially popular with metro Atlanta residents… Including the small city of Blue Ridge and the German-themed town of Helen in the North Georgia Blue Ridge Mountains; a Native American-owned Harrah’s casino resort in Cherokee in the Western North Carolina Blue Ridge Mountains that is a popular getaway destination for metro Atlanta residents who live in a state in Georgia where all forms of gambling continue to be illegal outside of the state lottery; and the heavily tourist-oriented cities of Gatlinburg, Piegon Forge and Sevierville which are located just outside the northern entrance to Great Smoky Mountains National Park which is the most visited national park in the U.S.)…
> The Georgia/South Carolina Atlantic Coast, which is anchored by very popular historic coastal cities like Savannah, Georgia and Charleston, South Carolina, and has popular oceanside resort areas like Hilton Head Island and Myrtle Beach in South Carolina and St. Simons Island in Georgia along with many miles of state and nationally protected undisturbed Atlantic Ocean coastline in Georgia…
> The resorts and getaway areas throughout much of the entire state of Florida, including the Gulf Coast beaches of the Florida Panhandle which are a very popular weekend and holiday getaway/escape destination for many metro Atlanta residents…
> Chattanooga, Tennessee, which has numerous tourist attractions and is located only about 2 hours northwest of Atlanta…
> Nashville, Tennessee, which is the country music capital of the country and is located only about 4 hours northwest of Atlanta …
> Greenville, South Carolina, which has a popular downtown area that is popular with tourists and is located only about 2 hours northeast of Atlanta…
> Asheville, North Carolina, which is a notable Blue Ridge Mountains city with shops, restaurants and attractions that is located only about 3.5 hours north/northeast of Atlanta.
And even within the Atlanta metropolitan area itself there are numerous outdoor recreational areas, including (but certainly not limited to) the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area, the Silver Comet Trail, Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park, Stone Mountain Park, Arabia Mountain National Heritage Area, Panola Mountain State Park, Sweetwater Creek State Park, Red Top Mountain State Park, Lake Allatoona, Big Creek Greenway and Vickery Creek along with Lake Lanier.
The Atlanta region and Georgia appears to have much more to offer than the OP seems to be portraying, including from an outdoor recreational standpoint.
If the OP was contemplating moving to Minnesota alone, I’d be all for it.
But with the OP attempting to convince their significant other to leave their family, friends, secure job, support network and deep personal roots in a warmer weather state in Georgia to permanently move to a strange colder weather state 1,000 miles away where the OP’s significant other has no connections, moving to Minnesota full-time doesn’t appear to be the best idea.
Moving from a Southeastern warmer weather climate and culture in Georgia to a Northern cold weather climate and Nordic culture in Minnesota would be an extreme culture shock for the OP’s significant other.
And the OP seems to be so dissatisfied with their own life that the OP very much seems to be completely overlooking what very significant adverse affects such a massive move could (and likely would) have on the life of their significant other.
What seems to be a better idea is for the OP to take frequent trips and vacations to Minnesota whenever might be possible so that the OP can get the exposure to the Northern colder weather climate and Nordic culture in Minnesota that they might be seeking while also allowing for their significant other to maintain their deeply rooted life and personal connections in what pretty much seems to be the only state that the OP’s SO has ever really known in Georgia.
The OP also appears to very much need to get to much better acquainted with where they currently live in Atlanta and Georgia and the Southeast before pressuring their significant other to make a significant (and seemingly drastic) life move to a strange faraway state in Minnesota.
Anecdotally, I have multiple friends that have made the reverse move from Minnesota to Georgia (metro Atlanta) and they are not shy about expressing how much they love and enjoy living in a warmer weather climate in North Georgia after living in a climate that experiences very long stretches of bitterly cold weather every winter.
The OP seriously needs to take much more time to explore all that metro Atlanta, and Georgia, the Southeast have to offer.
And the OP also very seriously needs to make an effort to build many more and much stronger emotional and personal connections where they currently live in Georgia before pressuring their Georgia-born, Georgia-bred, Georgia-raised and deeply Georgia-rooted significant other to a make a drastic move to a strange faraway place in Minnesota, where their SO would be starting their entire life over from scratch while being completely disconnected from family, lifelong friends and a career that their SO seems to enjoy greatly in Georgia.
The OP needs to expand their social circle to get to know many more of the metro Atlantans who frequently visit all of the aforementioned attractions in metro Atlanta, Georgia and the Southeast instead of thinking that the only way that they are ever going to find happiness is to drag along their deeply-rooted Georgia-born, bred and raised SO on a permanent move to experience brutal Minnesota winters.
So your reasons for cautioning against a Minnesota move are as follows:
*We only have one grocery store chain.
*It's too humid.
*Frozen shrimp was expensive here twelve years ago.
One by one...
*Cub, Lund's/Byerly's, Kowalski's, Target, Hy Vee, ALDI (and going back 12 years, toss Rainbow and Super Valu in the mix, which you somehow missed)
*Humidity? They're. In. ATLANTA! Have you ever been to the South in the summer? Peak humidity in the Twin Cities is 71% in September. In Atlanta, it's 74+% from July thru September (at even higher temperatures, to boot). Literally, no one in the history of the world has ever said "I wish I hadn't moved from Atlanta to Minneapolis because it's too humid up there!".
*OK, ya got me. Frozen shrimp was more expensive here back in the early teens. Sounds like a real dealbreaker.
Whether or not Minnesota would be a good fit for them is an open question, but a lack of grocery stores and humidity are not issues. What a weird list of excuses you've put forth.
Hey, don't knock me. I grew up in Minnesota and I know what it's like. Couldn't wait to leave it, either.
I was in the Anoka area in 2012 and now that I think about it, it was Cub that was the only grocery store for miles around. Isn't that the one where you have to pack your own groceries? The other stores you mentioned were nowhere around. I know, becauseI looked for anything that sold groceries. And sorry, I don't see Target and Walmart as grocery stores.
And I am well aware they're in Atlanta. I am also aware that when the humidity feels like you're swimming in it, you don't usually enjoy going out to hike in the woods. I only mentioned it because a lot of people from out of state don't associate Minnesota with high humidity.
Yeah, shrimp is a deal breaker for me. I love me some shrimp. Just like I'd miss the hell out of Round Table Pizza. But if you want a plus, twenty miles north of Anoka, I found a Long John Silver's.
Oh, yeah, let's not forget the mosquitoes and the 10,000 mosquito farms in Minnesota either. LOL
Snow in mid- or late-October is not uncommon in the Twin Cities. And while I'm ready to switch from winter tires to all-seasons in mid-April, the last snowfall is typically in the first week of May. Summers are nice, but over too soon.
It's true that some folks love winter: outdoor ice skating, cross-country skiing, deer hunting, ice fishing. But for people with jobs it's mostly just a hassle: waking up in the dark, hoping the car will start, scraping the windshield while the engine warms up, driving to work on ice-covered roads while it's still dark, and then repeating everything at the end of the workday. And then there's the bad drivers from the Sunbelt who don't know how to drive in the snow and ice, who cause accidents and create delays for the rest of us.
On the plus side, wages are pretty good in the Twin Cities. On the negative side, housing is expensive except in the high crime neighborhoods.
It's not just the one word, although it's also that. It's that she has VERY valid reasons for being uninterested in, unwilling, and unable to relocate at this time (friends of many decades, family including an older mother, a vested career with a pension she'd be giving up) and STILL you persist (or whatever you want to call it) simply because you don't like the weather and/or politics of what was her home long before you moved there. You seem unaware or at least unconcerned about the gravity of what you're asking her to give up. Again, how long have you been together? There's no guarantee you'll STAY together, and there she'll be, having given up her home (does she own a house?) and friends, missed out on time with family, and without her pension or as satisfying a job. It sounds like she's the one who needs to "convince" YOU that this isn't in HER best interest.
1.) IT'S COLD. *BITTERLY COLD* in winter. Stepping outside in full ski gear & hat when it's 25 below is like walking into a brick wall. It HURTS. And it will be the same tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.
2.) They pour salt on the roads in wintertime to try to reduce the snow and ice. This results in new cars showing significant rust in two years, and pieces of the car falling off in the third year. And it gets worse and worse, never stops.
3.) In summer, mosquitos. We used to call them the Minnesota State Bird. When practicing or instructing with marching bands and drum corps, you had to goop on the Cutter on every exposed square inch, so thick you could see it gleaming. Hated that feeling.
4.) There are only two distinct seasons, not four: (a) Winter, and (b) Road Construction. (another joke, but it's true.) It's hard to drive any distance, any where, in the warm season, without running into construction zones, lane closures, and roadblocks.
5.) Great biking paths in Spring/Summer.
I was also there when, one January, temperatures rose to 57F in the middle of the day one time. The local paper (Mpls Star-Trib) got out headline characters that hadn't been used since Sept. 1945 (VJ) when WWII ended, saying 57* (it was a little degree symbol, a tiny o, not an asterisk). Filled the front page from left edge to right edge, about a foot tall. It was weird riding my bike on a local street on a warm asphalt road... between ice ruts 10 inches apart that hadn't melted yet.
I've never lived in Minnesota but used to visit our radar station there. What Roboteer says about the weather is absolutely true. We had times where all of the vehicles at the station were immobilized because their tires were frozen solid to the ground. There's a good reason for the Minneapolis Skyway System - it's too cold to walk between buildings outside. Summers are the opposite with heat, humidity, and insects. The guys joked about the mosquitos being the state bird as well. I've seen some of the worst, scariest thunderstorms there in my entire life and tornadoes are fairly common as well. Thankfully never seen them!
The OP unfortunately seems to be greatly mistaken if they think that “it's not super common for people to escape for a weekend to our mountains up North or to Lake Lanier” in metro Atlanta.
I can't rep you enough!!!
Living near Atlanta gives us so many opportunities, besides the obvious pull of having big city life within an hour's drive, where we can see big names in concert, but we are also within hours of a lot of things we have loved over the years. Things I didn't see mentioned:
* Cumberland Island National Seashore, which is a barrier island where you can observe wild horses while camping under live oaks draped in Spanish moss.
* South Beach is about 9 hour drive, and the Keys are a hop, skip and a jump from there.
* Decent skiing is also not very far away in Virginia and West Virginia, complete with black diamond runs and apres ski spots.
* We can fly to just about anywhere in Europe or even Hawai'i, without layovers, from ATL, the busiest and one of the largest airports in the world.
For what it's worth, I actually consider Duluth MN one of my bucket lists because I love big ships, and you don't get any bigger than the thousand-footers of the Interlake Steamship Company. To see the M/V Paul R. Tregurtha go under the Duluth Lift Bridge from Lake Superior would be a big deal to me in any weather.
You can also see the Northern Lights from Minnesota, another bucket list item for me.
It's certainly a vacation spot, but there's no way I could tolerate the extreme cold for longer than a week. I suspect the OP's partner is no different, having been raised here.
Last edited by clevergirl67; 01-18-2024 at 08:00 AM..
We arrived just four days after the last spring snow in late April.
Everybody had "Welcome Spring" signs up, and lovely flower displays.
Summer was warm and humid. Everything was green. Fireflies are fantastic! They've converted a lot of old railroad right of ways to bike paths, you can ride from place to place with no cars!
It snowed in September, just a light dusting, but it kept snowing all day. Took a couple of days to melt off. Lovely!
Trees turn gorgeous colors in the fall.
We left at the end of October, happy to avoid the long white.
If I were considering moving there, I would visit in January to see if I could stand it.
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Love reading about the literacy rate! I will add that to my list of growing positives about MN.
