Trying to convince my partner that we should be in MN (Duluth: rent, vacation home)

[bus man]

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

- large refugee populations (Laos, Somali, Ukrainian)

Curious as to why you regard this as a reason why you and your partner should move to Minnesota. It doesn't sound like either of you belong to any of these groups or are affiliated with them. I don't live there, so I could be off-base, but I can't say as I've heard much of anything positive about Somalis in Minneapolis.

To your larger question, I would recommend emphasizing activities that would appeal to your partner during your vacations. Let her see with her own eyes what Minnesota has to offer that would appeal to her lifestyle and preferences. Maybe that'll help sway her. But I would urge you to prepare yourself for what you will do if she decides that Minnesota is not for her.

[TheKiwi]

Originally Posted by bus man

Curious as to why you regard this as a reason why you and your partner should move to Minnesota. It doesn't sound like either of you belong to any of these groups or are affiliated with them. I don't live there, so I could be off-base, but I can't say as I've heard much of anything positive about Somalis in Minneapolis.

To your larger question, I would recommend emphasizing activities that would appeal to your partner during your vacations. Let her see with her own eyes what Minnesota has to offer that would appeal to her lifestyle and preferences. Maybe that'll help sway her. But I would urge you to prepare yourself for what you will do if she decides that Minnesota is not for her.

I added it because the place we live in Atlanta also has a large population of immigrants/refugees and we love the diversity that comes with that, especially the cuisine but also the interesting markets that typically serve those communities (we cook a lot and enjoy playing with new ingredients). I think it's a great positive when refugees are able to become a part of the local community and from what I hear about MN, that seems to be the case overall... that they are adapting to the local lifestyle while also bringing their own unique culture to the area. But I don't live there, so I could be wrong about this. It's just what I've heard.

[bus man]

Thank you for your response. It makes more sense to me now, why you listed refugees as a positive.

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

But I don't live there, so I could be wrong about this. It's just what I've heard.

I don't live there either. It seems that you've heard good things, and I've heard not-so-good things. Hopefully some posters who live there can offer up their views, good or bad, but grounded in the reality of being familiar with the situation.

[Andrew in Minnesota]

Originally Posted by rodentraiser

I'm glad you like outdoor activities but you may be inside more than you know. Winter can be brutal sometimes and summers have horrible humidity. The only other things that bothered me about Minnesota was the lack of Jack in the Box, Baskin-Robbins, and 7-11s, and the lack of competing grocery stores. I was used to Kroger (QFC), Albertson's, Safeway, and now we have Winco plus a number of discount stores, and in California there was Nob Hill and and a few others. In Minnesota I saw only one grocery store (can't remember the name now) and beyond that, a couple of smaller stores, very limited in products and usually expensive. I remember trying to find Gallo's salami and striking out on that all over. At the time I also wanted to buy shrimp, either in the bag or by Gorton's or something, and the prices then, in 2012, were what the prices are now. Research carefully.

So your reasons for cautioning against a Minnesota move are as follows:

*We only have one grocery store chain.

*It's too humid.

*Frozen shrimp was expensive here twelve years ago.

One by one...

*Cub, Lund's/Byerly's, Kowalski's, Target, Hy Vee, ALDI (and going back 12 years, toss Rainbow and Super Valu in the mix, which you somehow missed)

*Humidity? They're. In. ATLANTA! Have you ever been to the South in the summer? Peak humidity in the Twin Cities is 71% in September. In Atlanta, it's 74+% from July thru September (at even higher temperatures, to boot). Literally, no one in the history of the world has ever said "I wish I hadn't moved from Atlanta to Minneapolis because it's too humid up there!".

*OK, ya got me. Frozen shrimp was more expensive here back in the early teens. Sounds like a real dealbreaker.

Whether or not Minnesota would be a good fit for them is an open question, but a lack of grocery stores and humidity are not issues. What a weird list of excuses you've put forth.

[Teacher Terry]

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

She could collect it now if she wanted to but she'd be getting the current value for it. It's possible to start over in a new state though, but she just wants to make sure we are really going to like it as a long-term option as she would only want to move maximum 1 time. She's about 20-25 years from retirement right now.

Is it an actual pension where she gets paid a monthly pension based on years of service or just a lump sum? This makes a huge difference and no guarantee she will be able to get a state job in Minnesota. In some states they are really difficult to obtain.

[clevergirl67]

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

She recently said to me "I know I'd be happy anywhere with you. Anywhere you're happy is where I want to be"

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

I'm a vegan so we cook 95% of our meals and eat mostly whole foods, not a lot of processed stuff like faux meats.

Just curious, was she also a vegan when you met?

[TheKiwi]

Originally Posted by clevergirl67

Just curious, was she also a vegan when you met?

She is not vegan, but cooks vegan for us in the home (she's the cook and I do all other house chores since cooking is such a big one).

Prior to us meeting, she has never been one to cook meat herself despite being big into cooking, and is also lactose intolerant so she's always avoided most dairy. She eats 80%+ vegan I'd say, but she was always like that. Big into plants (loves salads and raw veggies), rice and beans, pasta, etc. But not so big into meat or dairy. She does love eggs though. She'll eat eggs and some chicken and fish outside of the home. She's never been too into red meat.

I think because of me, she eats more vegan foods now, but she's always eaten a majority of plant foods so it wasn't a big adjustment for her.

[clevergirl67]

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

I think because of me, she eats more vegan foods now, but she's always eaten a majority of plant foods so it wasn't a big adjustment for her.

I was asking because like someone else mentioned, she seems to be a follower, or what I would call a people-pleaser, and I'm afraid you pressuring her to move to someplace like MSP will result in the end of your relationship. I live near ATL so I understand her love of the climate here, and the pressure of long-lasting friendships, not to mention a killer job that she would be a fool to give up. I hope you give her grace if she decides not to go.

[TheKiwi]

Originally Posted by clevergirl67

I was asking because like someone else mentioned, she seems to be a follower, or what I would call a people-pleaser, and I'm afraid you pressuring her to move to someplace like MSP will result in the end of your relationship. I live near ATL so I understand her love of the climate here, and the pressure of long-lasting friendships, not to mention a killer job that she would be a fool to give up. I hope you give her grace if she decides not to go.

I assure you, she's no pushover.

Personally I would never pressure someone to move with me somewhere where I don't think they'll be happy. That's why I'm taking my time with all of this and why I want to visit in the summer and winter so we can both get an idea of what it'll be like living there. I only want her to come if she makes the choice too!

I want to move there with her if I believe we both genuinely want to be there. I do not want her to give up things here only to be unhappy there.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by TheKiwi

I've recently become convinced that MN is for us. I know no place is perfect, but MN sure seems close to me, certainly better all-around from Atlanta. For context: we are two women in our late 30's, vote blue, love being outdoors, no kids. I LOVE snow activities and grew up in Denmark (and have Norwegian and Finnish roots), and MN reminds me of 'home'. My partner is a librarian, loves bookstores and is involved in book clubs, loves weekend getaways to cabins with cute small towns, loves to cook, likes to bike and go walking, and also is very into watching hockey. We are also very into kpop and Korean culture.

I've started making a list of the reasons I think we should move there. What else would you add?

- sanctuary state for LGBTQ+ / strong LGBTQ+ hate crime protections
- lots of good housing stock in the $300,000's
- free school breakfast & school lunch for all children in the state started in spring 2023
- current governor set up a little free library in his office with books that are banned in other states
- large refugee populations (Laos, Somali, Ukrainian)
- close to the Scandinavian model (well as close as US states can really be)... higher taxes but also lots of social programs!
- progressive criminal justice system (NO for-profit prisons)
- same sex marriage legal here 2 years prior to nationwide
- abortion legal and protected in constitution
- one of top 3 states for life expectancy (Hawaii, Washington and then Minnesota)
- great healthcare system
- 4 true seasons
- lots of hockey including pro women's hockey team and plenty of other sports to watch locally
- good schools + very well educated population (literacy has always been very important so there are some great libraries in the state)
- cost of living lower than national average
- top 10 most environmentally friendly state
- nonstop flights to Atlanta (2hrs 40 mins), 3 hours to NY, 1.5 hr to Chicago
- working on getting to 100% carbon-free electricity by 2040
- Minneapolis have a Danish American Center, a Norway House and a American Swedish Institute - how fun!
- summers range from 70-80 degrees (high humidity though)
- union-friendly state
- Minneapolis is one of the best biking cities in the US - and they have an electric bike share program
- The Minneapolis-St. Paul airport had the lowest rate of flight delays in the world in 2023
- roaches/palmetto bugs aren't much of a problem - but mosquitos!

Anything that you would add that seems in line with these, or things that might interest my partner?

You don't mention how she feels about cold weather. I would think that's pretty important in considering a move to MN. Have you discussed moving at all? Is she on board with moving? Does she have family/close friends where you are now? I mean, you can list all the pros in the world, but without knowing her feelings about moving overall, and any objections she might have to cold weather, it's hard to answer.