Why are Seatte/Puget Sound girls such flakes and so picky? - dating scene sucks here (Seattle: houses, casino)

[Lexiilove]

Originally Posted by thatguy950

Guaranteed this is it. Thirsty white knights on social media have probably inflated your ego to Jupiter and now no one but a 6'3" male model is up to your standards, even though you're probably average yourself.

I'm sorry you felt the need to add that I'm probably average myself, ( especially since there is nothing wrong with being average). I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings but since you feel the need to talk about my looks I've obviously offended you. I guess no place is gonna compare to California (where I'm from) looks wise so I better just suck it up huh?

But you have a good day and remember to love yourself or nobody will

[treuphax]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

You must not have spent much time in Seattle; it's known to have the highest percentage of in-shape women in the US, along with the rest of the West Coast and Colorado. Women are very into outdoor activity here, generally, and tend to be active gym-goers as well. And I can tell you've never been to Eastern Europe, because you're oblivious to the fact that there are a lot of very average women there. (I'm Russian, I can say this. ) Oh, and btw, The Seattle area has a high percentage of Russian women in all age groups, like San Francisco and certain other parts of the Bay.

Regarding attractiveness & fitness of the women here in Seattle, I won't argue that Seattle is home to many absolutely exquisite specimens of natural beauty... a natural style that is just to my taste. Over the holidays I was sitting in a Starbucks back in NY and I remarked that the women there looked quite different from in Seattle. Upon reflection it dawned on my interlocutor and me that it wasn't just the different ethnic mix, but there was probably more makeup on the women in that single NY Starbucks than in all Seattle. Not my cup of tea (or coffee in this case)...

Nevertheless... of these that I've had a chance to encounter, I cannot recall the last time any that were single. Perhaps what distorts many guys' image of Seattle women are those who take an aggressively hostile view to normal beauty standards and maintain an in-your-face that exhibiting any feature that is pleasing to males, no matter how much or little effort, is an offense to the feminist sisterhood to be avoided. The result of this pathology is the epidemic of heavily tattooed women shaped like onions topped with a technicolor tuft. Even more unfortunate is when the personalities match the onion shape...

Last week I was speaking with a single Russian acquaintance who's also in some local Russian ethnic clubs & circles. He goes to many of their parties. I asked him how that scene is. Pretty sorry he explained. While there are many Russian women there, almost without exception they've been brought here or subsequently imported here by their husbands. Not surprising. While one occasionally encounters an eastern European woman who comes here on her own out of her own sense of adventure and ambition, most of these eastern European immigrants who come here to study and work in technology, engineering and health care are men. A horrible chauvi I once knew explained that men have to strive and work hard. Only women who are very plain have to strive and work hard... but probably never hard as men must because even these ambitious ladies won't need to rely on their success and achievements to win the attention of the even more successful and more ambitious fellows they seek to feather a nest worthy of them. Obviously not universally true, but probably something to it...

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Where were Asian guys like you and the OP when I was living in Seattle? I never ran into Asian guys, not even as a university student.

OK Mrs. Ruth4Truth I think you might have disqualified yourself now from any further comment if you've managed to overlook the vast numbers of south and east Asian dudes that have made our area home. Perhaps I'm not completely innocent of a similar error, that is overlooking the plain & old women that don't particularly interest me? Not completely... When I go to an event and count the appallingly unbalanced ratios male > female, I count 'em all, good, bad, old & ugly.

[treuphax]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

The single guys are participating in hikes with The Mountaineers, they're at REI, they're in the canoe and kayak clubs, and in the neighborhood soccer leagues that the Parks Dept. organizes. A few are in the Parks Dept. martial arts classes, the Chi Gong-in-the-Park sessions on weekends, and are volunteering for the Folk Life organization that puts on the annual Folk Life Festival and other events. Some are at the Balkan dance evenings, others are into Contra dancing, others may be in Swing or Salsa dance groups.

I can agree that all those outdoor clubs, kayaking, sailing, hiking, cycling, mountaineering, climbing... as well as indoor activities such as gaming, dancing, drinking.... all filled with thirsty single guys looking for a little social companionship. Obviously in these contexts, the guys probably get overlooked and devalued because there are so many. At a social event I attended last week it was 15 : 1 and the poor women had desperate guys following and chasing them around. Nevertheless I observed several of the women leave early, perhaps because the men weren't of the caliber they seek or they had other and better events to attend. I can see how such a surplus of desperation might be a turn-off.

Either guys have given up and aren't bothering to show up or look or they're desperately chasing. Neither of these are winning strategies.

Originally Posted by Lexiilove

I just moved here August from the Bay Area, and I haven't officially started dating I really haven't found any men here attractive. I've signed on to clover and bumble (dating apps) and literally I might have liked 10 guys (I've gotten few thousand likes/msgs for myself). Athough I'm simply viewing the prospects it just seems crazy to me. I'm not sure if I'm too picky or what but I can already tell that dating is going to be an uphill battle unfortunately.

Nobody argues that women don't also have problems dating in Seattle. Both men and women have their crosses to bear. I'm sure I'm not the only one who welcomes women here sharing their experiences... not just for selfish practical reasons... It's anthropologically fascinating... We do hope you (and your sisters) take the effort to share more.

Having a few thousand virtual suitors has to be absolutely mind-blowing and perspective distorting. Picking any one has to be impossible if one knows that there are a few thousand more candidates out there who might be even much better... Also responding to this attention proportionately respectfully has to be exhausting to impossible. So when guys complain, "Why'd she treat me like trash or stand me up?" She's burnt out. I've talked to a number of women who complain bitterly about how awful online dating is. Opening that mailbox every day and between 20 and 50 sales pitches will be waiting... Skip a few days it fills up with hundreds. Overwhelming.

So when guys complain that women are picky, what else should they do? Hitch up with the first proposition?

Meanwhile we guys get just one or two responses after a month's worth of effort and 100s of individually targeted messages. We have to imagine the immense competition we're up against. One guy I know who made online dating a second full time job worth of effort for a couple years even went to the trouble of making a few "dummy" female accounts to see what some of the competition does and to learn what the more clever approaches and correspondence looks like. He explained that practically zero normal guys will have the natural gift to compete with the wit of the more talented in the online scene. Can online dating be cracked by ordinary men? Yes but with considerable effort, was his conclusion. Whether the results it yields are worth it and if the particular effort is fruitfully invested is another question.

[Ruth4Truth]

IDK, true. The university campuses are full of non-onion-shaped women, and always have been. And I'm not talking only about the students, but the staff as well. And there were no thirsty guys going after those women. I've been to social events in Seattle, small mixers, where all the men clustered over on one side, and never approached anyone. They didn't respond even when ALL the women, one at a time, approached them and tried to start conversations. It's tiresome to go through that time after time.

But that was in the days before Amazon, so there's been a lot more (theoretically) thirsty guys in town than when I was there, and more south Asians, too. And I have no idea how/where to connect with Seattle's East Asians, like that other poster. Where do they hang out? What activities do they participate in? They must circulate in different worlds than I did.

[xani]

Why do these whining threads run on Seattle board? (and full of racist/sexist posts by obvious losers)....what's up with all the aging BABIES complaining they can't get a date? This is like "Crying Snowflakes" compilation
Should feel lucky you don't have to serve in the army; they should bring draft back, for these "men" to grow up.

[DP79]

Year after year, month after month, this same post pops up in different forms... First stage is denial, second stage is acceptance. Accept that Seattle is not an ideal place for dating, then decide if you can still accept Seattle. Many of us couldn't and moved. It's all about what cons you are willing to accept with the pros.

[treuphax]

Originally Posted by xani

Why do these whining threads run on Seattle board? (and full of racist/sexist posts by obvious losers)....what's up with all the aging BABIES complaining they can't get a date? This is like "Crying Snowflakes" compilation
Should feel lucky you don't have to serve in the army; they should bring draft back, for these "men" to grow up.

Too bad that according to Hillary CLINTON,

"Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat..."

What's worse for the women left behind after wars more than decimate the male population, they face odds worse than men in contemporary Seattle have.

If women complain about guys, that's ok. But when guys vent...?

Finally maybe it's not just whining, maybe guys are trying to find out if it's just them and they're crazy or if there is really a situation that makes the place and its culture particular and a unique experience. Maybe the guys are also open to some constructive ideas and feedback? If the answer is so easy, please do share your views.

Don't want to read about it? Ignore it.

[Lexiilove]

Originally Posted by treuphax

Nobody argues that women don't also have problems dating in Seattle. Both men and women have their crosses to bear. I'm sure I'm not the only one who welcomes women here sharing their experiences... not just for selfish practical reasons... It's anthropologically fascinating... We do hope you (and your sisters) take the effort to share more.

Having a few thousand virtual suitors has to be absolutely mind-blowing and perspective distorting. Picking any one has to be impossible if one knows that there are a few thousand more candidates out there who might be even much better... Also responding to this attention proportionately respectfully has to be exhausting to impossible. So when guys complain, "Why'd she treat me like trash or stand me up?" She's burnt out. I've talked to a number of women who complain bitterly about how awful online dating is. Opening that mailbox every day and between 20 and 50 sales pitches will be waiting... Skip a few days it fills up with hundreds. Overwhelming.

So when guys complain that women are picky, what else should they do? Hitch up with the first proposition?

Meanwhile we guys get just one or two responses after a month's worth of effort and 100s of individually targeted messages. We have to imagine the immense competition we're up against. One guy I know who made online dating a second full time job worth of effort for a couple years even went to the trouble of making a few "dummy" female accounts to see what some of the competition does and to learn what the more clever approaches and correspondence looks like. He explained that practically zero normal guys will have the natural gift to compete with the wit of the more talented in the online scene. Can online dating be cracked by ordinary men? Yes but with considerable effort, was his conclusion. Whether the results it yields are worth it and if the particular effort is fruitfully invested is another question.

I think the difference for me is that I've lived all over, LA,SF,NY,ATL, etc and always get about the same amount of interest from guys (maybe a little more/less depending on the city) but in all the cities I listed I always find a good amount of men also to be attractive and here is not the case. That dummy account scenario did give me a good laugh, however. I do agree that I need to give meeting people organically a better chance. It's true I've seen more men out and about that are more decent looking than the ones on the bubble illusion of websites. Online has always been easier for me but after meeting women and discussing with them, here in Seattle it might not be the way to go. And as I said I'm getting ahead of myself again. I'm still getting acclimated to just living in Seattle, grocery shopping, going to events,work, and day to day life so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

[MondoTime]

Originally Posted by treuphax

Nobody argues that women don't also have problems dating in Seattle.

Having a few thousand virtual suitors has to be absolutely mind-blowing and perspective distorting. Picking any one has to be impossible if one knows that there are a few thousand more candidates out there.

This is sorta like the 'Subway Sandwich effect'

(there are FAR more options and choices for some of them that it is literally easier not to deal with it)

[Transmition]

Originally Posted by xani

Why do these whining threads run on Seattle board? (and full of racist/sexist posts by obvious losers)....what's up with all the aging BABIES complaining they can't get a date? This is like "Crying Snowflakes" compilation

Let's make a game of it.

Seattle dating complaint bingo! See how many we can check off on the "I can't get a second date but Seattle women are all horrible anyway" list.

[ ] Fails to mention how/where they were trying to get dates
[ ] Doesn't acknowledge they may have faults
[ ] Indications of their own social disorder
[ ] Describe how good his game was in other cities
[ ] Mentions "beta males" or socially inept competition
[ ] Even women he isn't interested in have turned him down
[ ] Seattle women are ugly
[ ] Seattle women are superficial/wealth-obsessed
[ ] Seattle women have horrible personalities
[ ] Seattlites are snobs
[ ] Somehow gets "Seattle freeze" from non-natives
[ ] Mentions at least one creepy thing
[ ] Misogyny
[ ] Posting as a future warning to others
[ ] Claims to have left or is leaving the city
[ ] Makes passive-aggressive complaint about passive-agressiveness
[ ] Irrelevant complaints about weather/homeless/politics
[ ] Other: