Should I, or shouldn't I... (guy, call, advice, personality)
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go out with this guy who e-mailed me twice in five minutes on a dating site?
He's decent looking, writes well, is a couple inches taller than I am, no degree, has a dog (I'm not a pet person), and a decent job, although I'm sure I probably make quite a bit more than he does. Just giving you the facts.
Here's a snippet of each e-mail (I didn't leave out anything significant - they were really short e-mails)
First e-mail in a nutshell: My name is xxxx and I'm 36, never married and no kids. I (explains his job here)... If you think you might be interested, then I hope to hear from you.
Second e-mail: ...the most important thing I wanted to tell you was, the reason why I am on this site is because I am so sick of not being married. I don't want to scare you off but, I like to put that out there right up front...
I can understand that if that's his goal why he would say that. Some women are not looking to get married and he's trying to eliminate them. He's not being desparate; he's being honest and up front. He didn't say wanted to get married tomorrow, but he wants something that can eventually lead to marriage.
So the question is are you open to the idea of getting married? Is that your dating goal? If it is, then no problem. If he does want to elope to Vegas on the second date, problem.
Oh jeepers. Thank you for gracing this Earth with your presence.
This is so bizarre. If a new person signed up to post this...they'd be crucified as entitled, selfish and plain *****y. But if they are in the Good Ol' Boys club, bad behavior is just simply encouraged. You guys are not doing "friends" any behavior by kissing their butts and telling them they are awesome. Quite frankly, you've been going running every night for a reason. And only the "weirdos" are contacting you...because that's all you attract.
Though that above post by Jsizzle might not go over well, I DO understand where he(or she) is coming from. The OP labeled this poor guy a weirdo simply because he stated upfront what he eventually is looking for. (Marriage). To me, he emailed the OP twice only because he simply forgot to mention that tidbit in his first message. Perhaps this guy is just tired of the crap, and wants to put it out there that he is looking for something solid, so if a woman is not looking for that, she can just not bother with him.
Sometimes when i meet people I get the same way if someone asks me what im looking for. If i say a relationship..do i scare guys off who may be open to that but dont want to hear that up front? If i say friends first will the guy think that im going to be okay with just being a booty call? Crazy, but sometimes you dont know what the heck to do sometimes. You want to be yourself, but.....man. It's like a darn game sometimes.
Perhaps this guy just said to himself that he wants to be married someday, and he is looking for a woman who is open to that. So he is going to make that well known so that if the woman isnt down with that, she can keep walking and not waste his time. I think the OP was a bit harsh on the guy before she even met him. Since she said he sounds intelligent, and works in a job (law enforcement) where he probably cant be a mass murderer (usually) Id say meet the guy FIRST before you call him a weirdo.
Now, I just posted a message, but now im posting again..TWICE. Does that now make ME a weirdo? LOL I also meant to say that I agree that written messages can sometimes be taken different ways. The poor guy may just not be the best at writing messages, as i dont think too many men are great at all the fluff and stuff. They are more to the point about things, moreso than women. ( My personal opinion. ) See how the guy sounds on the phone or in person.
Oh jeepers. Thank you for gracing this Earth with your presence.
This is so bizarre. If a new person signed up to post this...they'd be crucified as entitled, selfish and plain *****y. But if they are in the Good Ol' Boys club, bad behavior is just simply encouraged. You guys are not doing "friends" any behavior by kissing their butts and telling them they are awesome. Quite frankly, you've been going running every night for a reason. And only the "weirdos" are contacting you...because that's all you attract.
Yo, Socrates: There are females who post in this forum as well. One must be PC.
Since I've read a thread or two here, I'll tell you: MOST posters have a problem with big reveals on the first date. If you want people here screaming, "Run for the hills" tell them that someone wants to commit soon after meeting or in this case, BEFORE meeting. You should probably hang a little longer before making these kinds of comments.
Though that above post by Jsizzle might not go over well, I DO understand where he(or she) is coming from. The OP labeled this poor guy a weirdo simply because he stated upfront what he eventually is looking for. (Marriage). To me, he emailed the OP twice only because he simply forgot to mention that tidbit in his first message. Perhaps this guy is just tired of the crap, and wants to put it out there that he is looking for something solid, so if a woman is not looking for that, she can just not bother with him.
Sometimes when i meet people I get the same way if someone asks me what im looking for. If i say a relationship..do i scare guys off who may be open to that but dont want to hear that up front? If i say friends first will the guy think that im going to be okay with just being a booty call? Crazy, but sometimes you dont know what the heck to do sometimes. You want to be yourself, but.....man. It's like a darn game sometimes.
Perhaps this guy just said to himself that he wants to be married someday, and he is looking for a woman who is open to that. So he is going to make that well known so that if the woman isnt down with that, she can keep walking and not waste his time. I think the OP was a bit harsh on the guy before she even met him. Since she said he sounds intelligent, and works in a job (law enforcement) where he probably cant be a mass murderer (usually) Id say meet the guy FIRST before you call him a weirdo.
I didn't call him a weirdo, I said that I seem to attract a lot of weirdos on the site. He happens to be one who doesn't seem like the usual weirdo, just maybe a bit on the desperate side. At any rate, I'm about to go send him a quick e-mail and we'll see what happens.
Yo, Socrates: There are females who post in this forum as well. One must be PC.
Since I've read a thread or two here, I'll tell you: MOST posters have a problem with big reveals on the first date. If you want people here screaming, "Run for the hills" tell them that someone wants to commit soon after meeting or in this case, BEFORE meeting. You should probably hang a little longer before making these kinds of comments.
Maybe the only thing I'll ever agree with you on. At least as a man, for the first few to many dates the rule of thumb is: keep it light, keep it funny, no negatives, no heavy subjects, no love/politics/religion. If guys would just stick to that I'm sure there would be almost no weirdos out there.
I really don't find anything odd or strange about his emails. His goal is marriage - if your goal is NOT marriage, pass! If you are looking for a long term relationship and are open to marriage, then meet him for coffee (or tea, or diet coke). Meet him in a very public place (coffee shops are perfect). Try not to stay more than an hour ... even if you are really hitting it off. If things are going well, exchange phone numbers. If not, say you have enjoyed meeting him and appreciate his time.
The whole point of a dating site is to meet people who have the same goal - be it marriage, just dating, or make friends. Yet don't forget the point is to MEET people not develop a group of pen pals.
Unless marriage is out of the question for you - meet him and have fun.
Best wishes.
go out with this guy who e-mailed me twice in five minutes on a dating site?
He's decent looking, writes well, is a couple inches taller than I am, no degree, has a dog (I'm not a pet person), and a decent job, although I'm sure I probably make quite a bit more than he does. Just giving you the facts.
Here's a snippet of each e-mail (I didn't leave out anything significant - they were really short e-mails)
First e-mail in a nutshell: My name is xxxx and I'm 36, never married and no kids. I (explains his job here)... If you think you might be interested, then I hope to hear from you.
Second e-mail: ...the most important thing I wanted to tell you was, the reason why I am on this site is because I am so sick of not being married. I don't want to scare you off but, I like to put that out there right up front...
Don't read too much into some preliminary emails. You seem interested enough to want to investigate so I would keep an open mind. It's quite possible that he felt his first email wasn't complete enough and so sent a quick follow-up.
I'm just saying to check it out, take it easy and don't be too hasty.
I think it's worth taking a chance. To me he sounds like a nice guy who isn't playing any games. What do you have to lose? Finding someone you're compatible with is a numbers game. The more people you meet the better your chances. If it doesn't work out, move on. If it does, great. Best wishes.
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