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What you say is perfectly fine. I can of course meet with a female friend and I could want to know more about her and have a good time. But if it's just that, I would not call it "dating".
It's the same for you women actually. Let's say you go out for coffee with one of your male friends, and he happens to be the typical "nice guy". You are very comfortable with him and want to know about him, but you are not feeling attracted. Would you call that a "date"?
Err im not a woman lolz .. excuse me .. but dear friend .. isnt there a difference between mating and dating .. first u date and then u mate ..unless u dont date how would u mate .. so i suggest that u dont make up your mind to just make out on your first date ..go meet people with simply knowing the opposite sex ..u dont have to know them inside out by getting physical ..i mean dude ! .. everything that shines isnt GOLD !! ..and Diamonds are usually found in coal mines .. lolz sorry but thats my opinion ..and i follow my instincts ..so before laying myself bare before someone ..i show them my true self ..then they decide if im ugly or fugly .. cool or fool .. but i dont rule out that warm peck on the cheeks at the door ..thats an indication of we could be just friends ..lolz ..
My first thought was sure. Dinner, movie, hike, golf, etc. When you first start how do you know if you want to be intimate? Get to know her first.
After reading the responses here I guess it's not dating until you are "officially" courting? I guess it depends on your definitions. But friendship isn't something to sneer at. At least not for me.
Actually I'm starting to think I was confused because here in Spain we don't use the word "dating" as you do. Or that's what I think from what I have been reading, at least. But even then, I still see a clear difference between hanging out as friends, and considering a possibility that something else will happen (be it on the 1st date or in 4 months, but at some point).
Men: Would you date a woman that you have zero desire to be intimate with?
Absolutely not. Not only would it be a waste of my time and her time, it would be an absolute cruel thing to do to her to "date" her with no intention or desire to get intimate.
Would be even worse to "pretend" to have an interest just to go out and get something out of the deal. Like this one chick I know who knows Rage Against The Machine is one of my favorite bands, she had backstage passes to a small concert they were doing and wanted me to go with her as a "date". I had to decline because I know she wanted it to be a date night and for me to accept just to see the band would be terribly misleading and cruel to her.
Absolutely not. Not only would it be a waste of my time and her time, it would be an absolute cruel thing to do to her to "date" her with no intention or desire to get intimate.
Would be even worse to "pretend" to have an interest just to go out and get something out of the deal. Like this one chick I know who knows Rage Against The Machine is one of my favorite bands, she had backstage passes to a small concert they were doing and wanted me to go with her as a "date". I had to decline because I know she wanted it to be a date night and for me to accept just to see the band would be terribly misleading and cruel to her.
My husband has ZERO desire to be intimate with me. I thought it was his meds....and for the longest time it didn't bother me because there were things going on. Well, now I know he's stayed with me for as long as he did because of $$$ and because he's comfortable. He's getting the boot.
So thank you for not leading that girl on. You did the right thing.
Absolutely not. Not only would it be a waste of my time and her time, it would be an absolute cruel thing to do to her to "date" her with no intention or desire to get intimate.
Would be even worse to "pretend" to have an interest just to go out and get something out of the deal. Like this one chick I know who knows Rage Against The Machine is one of my favorite bands, she had backstage passes to a small concert they were doing and wanted me to go with her as a "date". I had to decline because I know she wanted it to be a date night and for me to accept just to see the band would be terribly misleading and cruel to her.
It's just a date, man. Do you get all intimate the moment you walk into the restaurant? She'll probably shove pasta on to your face and call the cops.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
It's just a date, man. Do you get all intimate the moment you walk into the restaurant? She'll probably shove pasta on to your face and call the cops.
Yep, completely agree with LaoTzu, I recently met someone with whom i am just not feeling anything intimate for. Sure, i could be the A%% who takes her out, gets her hopes up, then silently moves on after the fact..that i got what i wanted.. OR i could do the right thing and just let this one go, and keep my eyes out for someone i click better with chemistry-wise..
Going about it the other way benefits no one..and just shows what a selfish type of person..someone who would lead another on..probably is...I wouldn't want this done to me, so i will not do so onto another..
Absolutely not. Not only would it be a waste of my time and her time, it would be an absolute cruel thing to do to her to "date" her with no intention or desire to get intimate.
Would be even worse to "pretend" to have an interest just to go out and get something out of the deal. Like this one chick I know who knows Rage Against The Machine is one of my favorite bands, she had backstage passes to a small concert they were doing and wanted me to go with her as a "date". I had to decline because I know she wanted it to be a date night and for me to accept just to see the band would be terribly misleading and cruel to her.
You did the right thing.
If the romantic interest is only one-sided, it's kinder to never accept the date at all. Otherwise, anytime a courtship is aborted, the person dumped suffers a blow to their self-esteem as they wonder what went wrong. Meanwhile, the other person is dreading whether or not they are going to be asked why they weren't s/o material to the other person. Even telling them that the personality magic wasn't there hints that they were boring or lacking in some way. And who wants to lie and say that they weren't ready to for a relationship with anyone, when it's more about not wanting to be in a relationship with that particular person?
If the romantic interest is only one-sided, it's kinder to never accept the date at all. Otherwise, anytime a courtship is aborted, the person dumped suffers a blow to their self-esteem as they wonder what went wrong. Meanwhile, the other person is dreading whether or not they are going to be asked why they weren't s/o material to the other person. Even telling them that the personality magic wasn't there hints that they were boring or lacking in some way. And who wants to lie and say that they weren't ready to for a relationship with anyone, when it's more about not wanting to be in a relationship with that particular person?
If you agree with Lao, Miu, I feel better <winks>
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lolz .. excuse me .. but dear friend .. isnt there a difference between mating and dating .. first u date and then u mate ..unless u dont date how would u mate .. so i suggest that u dont make up your mind to just make out on your first date ..go meet people with simply knowing the opposite sex ..u dont have to know them inside out by getting physical ..i mean dude ! .. everything that shines isnt GOLD !! ..and Diamonds are usually found in coal mines .. lolz sorry but thats my opinion ..and i follow my instincts ..so before laying myself bare before someone ..i show them my true self ..then they decide if im ugly or fugly .. cool or fool .. but i dont rule out that warm peck on the cheeks at the door ..thats an indication of we could be just friends ..lolz ..
She'll probably shove pasta on to your face and call the cops.
