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Well, I don't want to play "Blame The Victim" here. But when somebody has a string of disastrous relationships, whether that person is a man or a woman, the problem is always, without exception, the person who's doing the complaining.
You heard right, folks. If you have had a bunch of women or men tear out your heart and stomp that sucker flat, then chances are close to 100% that a) you have terrible taste in opposite sex, b) you are socially retarded, or c) you just have awful judgement.
Time to face the music. The problem's not with them. It's with you.
That's partially true, but doesn't that mean that they should probably swear off relationships?
And then, do the majority of relationships end well?
I know many successful, independent, attractive single women in my town who have more or less sworn off dating
not so much out of bitterness but out of frustration with the caliber of men in the dating pool who are either under-employed, players, physically or socially less than scintillating, so on and so forth.
All have been in marriages and both good and bad relationships, and few have become mannish or overweight.
I can not get over the number of old friends and relatives who have decided to swear off men and dating after a few bad relationships. They assume that because a few men have treated them poorly, that they are destined to be single and without a female/male relationship forever. Many have given up on themselves, became mannish, fat and they have stopped trying to be attractive. Many have announced to the world that they are now free of men and will never date again.
Do you know any men that would say that after a bad relationship? I do not, just lots of women! Why?
It's really easy to say that these women have low intelligence, are weak, or are acting stupid, but you don't have one clue as to why they do the things they do in cases like this. I think it shows ignorance to even pretend like you can make a call as to what's going on in their heads.
I guess I'd be one of those people. I can make the call based on the why's the OP provided, that I have quoted below. I don't know how true it is nor am I going to get any proof. Like every other thread here, I can only go with the info provided.
Quote:
I can not get over the number of old friends and relatives who have decided to swear off men and dating after a few bad relationships. They assume that because a few men have treated them poorly, that they are destined to be single and without a female/male relationship forever.Many have given up on themselves, became mannish, fat and they have stopped trying to be attractive. Many have announced to the world that they are now free of men and will never date again.
These are not logical to me. There is nothing smart, strong or healthy about it.
Quote:
Those are pretty drastic measures to take just to keep men at bay. Letting your health go down the tubes? Not caring about yourself anymore? Do you really think that's "a guy did me wrong" syndrome? Get real. There's an underlying problem and I'm sure the judgement of people like you just makes them feel oh so much better.
The only effect that people like me would have on this type of person would be to re-enforce their victim mentality. We don't have the power to make them feel better when they are hell-bent on being miserable. I, for one, will not encourage delusion and fantasy.
You said it; drastic measures, letting their health suffer, it is not a "guy did me wrong" syndrome. It is absolutely something else. It doesn't matter how or why they got there. The bottom line is that they lack the intelligence and strength to work on whatever is really going on. Blaming an entire gender for their problems and failures is the act of a weak person; being the victim takes no effort. It takes nads and neurons to see and accept reality, overcome it and make better life decisions.
I can not get over the number of old friends and relatives who have decided to swear off men and dating after a few bad relationships. They assume that because a few men have treated them poorly, that they are destined to be single and without a female/male relationship forever. Many have given up on themselves, became mannish, fat and they have stopped trying to be attractive. Many have announced to the world that they are now free of men and will never date again.
Do you know any men that would say that after a bad relationship? I do not, just lots of women! Why?
Yeah. I used to do things like this when I was 9. Or maybe I was 7. Anyway, I would scream NOOOOOOO and throw my fists down in a tantrum. When my mother would fail to capitulate to my demands, I'd go into my room and sulk - not gonna talk to her anymore. That is, at least until suppertime.
Male, female, no difference. I think it's normal to need some time to recover and be off the market after a bad breakup. Some people just get comfortable in that place and decide not to leave. Perhaps it's like not completely going through the grieving process after the death of a loved one. You get stuck and can't move forward. It would take something significant to move these folks along to the next stage.
That's partially true, but doesn't that mean that they should probably swear off relationships?
And then, do the majority of relationships end well?
I know many successful, independent, attractive single women in my town who have more or less sworn off dating
not so much out of bitterness but out of frustration with the caliber of men in the dating pool who are either under-employed, players, physically or socially less than scintillating, so on and so forth.
All have been in marriages and both good and bad relationships, and few have become mannish or overweight.
They're just over it.
Hi ellie,
I comment on this frequently. Its because such woman usually overestimate their status. 7s who settle for 5s stay on the market very briefly. 5's seeking 7 and 8 stay on the market like an over priced house with a master bathroom in the basement. Men of their career status pick from a much wider field.
Not all women do this but the ones you speak of, often times turn to bisexuality instead focusing on what was wrong with them to keep on attracting these kind of men.
A lot of people "swear off relationships" until they meet someone who will blow them away. It just takes time.
yep. Had a huge disappointment several years ago. I was pretty down and began to think I'd be single forever. Couple of months later, with a new job and after attending an old-time friend's beautiful wedding, I realized it wasn't the disappointment itself that had been holding me down. It was my response to it.
Most people are stupid and go through their entire lives blaming all of life's problems on one thing or another. You'll see it with the majority of people but here are some examples. Always blaming everything that goes wrong on liberals, or hispanic people, or females, or aries, or catholics, etc... The problem isnt them, its you. Everything that goes wrong in life can't possibly be blamed on just one group of people. Its really ignorance and its as bad as racism, people who are too political, religious zealots pushing thier flavor, and every other idiot with an agenda. And when you go around spending your whole life being angry and miserable because someone else is different or you dont get along, its not so much them winning as it is you losing.
You see it a lot these days. With jobs disappearing, people are quick to find a scapegoat. I've even seen it with the housing crisis. A lot of people are blaming minorities for taking out bad loans and wrecking the housing market. It truly reveals an ugly side of people.
I can not get over the number of old friends and relatives who have decided to swear off men and dating after a few bad relationships. They assume that because a few men have treated them poorly, that they are destined to be single and without a female/male relationship forever. Many have given up on themselves, became mannish, fat and they have stopped trying to be attractive. Many have announced to the world that they are now free of men and will never date again.
Do you know any men that would say that after a bad relationship? I do not, just lots of women! Why?
You know, it's a REALLY easy thing to do. In fact, some people can't even move on even if they wanted to because they were given the gift of some kind of sexually transmitted disease.
The only things I feel you can do mitigate the effects of bad relationships is to:
1. Wait until you are mature enough to handle relationships.
2. Make sure you are somewhat or completely financially independent.
3. Pick a GOOD partner.
But how many people do that?
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