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I'd even go so far as to say that his ability to face life's challenges with intelligent rationality rather than acquiescence to social "norms" is pretty awesome. The fact that he is not threatened by the fact that I don't yes dear him and "submit" to his decisions but bring intelligent rationality of my own doesn't hurt either. The fact that he is really good in bed is, likewise, pretty awesome.
Huh. Explain that to my husband and I who have been married for decades. I would not call us genderless by any means. But we don't attach old and out of date value to things that are unimportant in the big scheme of things.
I'm not calling you or your husband genderless, you may want to reread what I wrote. Also, there are like more than 7 billion people in this world, other than you and your husband.
I'm not calling you or your husband genderless, you may want to reread what I wrote. Also, there are like more than 7 billion people in this world, other than you and your husband.
You indicated that people with a certain mindset don't stand a chance. That's a fairly universal statement. That mindset included a SAHD which you then implied made the participants in that marriage gender-less. You have a very different vision of gender, I think, based on those statements.
Yeah - I get it - you hate your job so if anyone is going to stay home, it's going to be you. Have you ever considered the possibility of getting a job you DON'T hate? Just asking...
Listen, the OP asked whether people would be ok with having a SAHD and I gave MY opinion on what would be acceptable to ME, so I don't know why some of you want to interrogate me for sharing MY opinion. My reasons are my reasons and I don't need to justify anything to anyone here. Think the way YOU want and I'll think the way I want. Ok?
The OP simply asked women if they would be ok with a stay at home dad, and it has now devolved into Team Egalitarian relationship vs. Team Traditional Relationship. Neither is better people, I thought in this day and age it was all about choice without judgment. Just because a person might prefer traditional relationships (with a male "lead") doesn't mean they want to be treated like property. She simply prefers that type of relationship dynamic. And, just because someone prefers an Egalitarian relationship doesn't mean that their marriage is genderless or their husband is submissive. It's just what they prefer. Neither is superior or anymore enlightened than the other, they just are what they are.
To the op, in theory I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be wealthy enough to have a husband at home. He could do the laundry, watch the kid and keep fit and sexy for me . But that's NOT my reality. I'm in an entry level position at the VA and he works for the public works division in our city. Neither one of us has serious paper like that, only enough to pay the mortgage, buy groceries, and try to save for retirement. I would totally be ok with my man being a SAHD, but we just don't have the benjimans to do it.
From time when people were happier and able to create lifelong bonds. You have been taught history from only one angle, you should expand your view a little. Submission-Dominance play a huge role in every relationship. Todays genderless relationships don't even have a chance because they lack sexual polarity. When a masculine man and a feminine woman come together, they can make it last.
That's actually a very modern concept. For the overwhelming majority of history, marriage was about survival, alliances, and continuation of our species.
That's actually a very modern concept. For the overwhelming majority of history, marriage was about survival, alliances, and continuation of our species.
Pssh. Don't tell him that. You'll ruin his <1950s fantasy when such partnerships were about "lifelong bonds"...based on female dependence, ownership and property. Lol.
That's actually a very modern concept. For the overwhelming majority of history, marriage was about survival, alliances, and continuation of our species.
Plus, since historically so many women died of complications from pregnancy and childbirth, "lifelong" wasn't necessarily all that long.
My husband would make a great stay at home dad, he is magic when it comes to kids.
It would have to be a joint decision, financial, quality of life, and productivity.
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My first husband stayed home with baby for awhile and did all the cooking and cleaning. So I'm okay with it, as I earned a better wage back in those days.
Hard to explain, but we still had a "traditional" male/female dynamic between us in how we related to each other. Maybe because he was older and I looked to him for guidance a lot.
He was a really good cook. I miss his cooking.
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. But that's NOT my reality. I'm in an entry level position at the VA and he works for the public works division in our city. Neither one of us has serious paper like that, only enough to pay the mortgage, buy groceries, and try to save for retirement. I would totally be ok with my man being a SAHD, but we just don't have the benjimans to do it.
