Different social classes, can it work (dates, long-term, marriages, man)
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The actual story is, that a CEO in his mid 40's got divorced from his wife, who is also a well educated and works on an executive level.
One of his complaints was that she was never there, she was all about work and success and forgot that he has needs. So now he is looking for a woman who is there for him and is more about family and fun.
He meets my friend, who is just lower middle class, about equally attractive as the ex wife. She lives in a little apartment in a not so great area.
She is worried she can't keep up with him and doesn't even want him to see the area she lives in. So far, they have great conversations and everything is perfect, he doesn't let her feel like she is inadequate. But she worries, the sooner or later other topics will naturally arise like politics, news, whatever is going on in the world.
They are about the same age and no, she is not a gold digger. He is not a millionaire, he is just working hard and is succesful.
Tell her to be herself and he may need someone to bring him out of the work zone. Just be there, have fun, enjoy life.
His ex was probably more "like" him always one more thing to do but he may be at the point where he needs some attention.
Look at all the men who start date the nanny or the admin.
So...if she is concerned she won't be able to hold her own in conversation, she could start reading the newspaper I'ts really not hard.
As for carrying on conversation in social settings...even if she doesn't have much in common, she can always ask others to tell her about themselves and ask them questions about things that interest them. People like to talk aboutthemselves, so they'll like her,(assuming she can manage an appropriate interest level) and she 'll learn something!
That's what I told her as well.
She needs to get rid of her insecurities. He left the other woman who WAS super smart and educated. Now he is fishing on the opposite side of the pond (well, not all the way bec he is not gay), maybe that is more if what fits his needs.
She needs to get rid of her insecurities. He left the other woman who WAS super smart and educated. Now he is fishing on the opposite side of the pond (well, not all the way bec he is not gay), maybe that is more if what fits his needs.
I certainly wouldn't tell your friend you consider her the opposite of smart.... she merely has different interests.
There are no guarantees in ANY relationship that it will work out.
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I certainly wouldn't tell your friend you consider her the opposite of smart.... she merely has different interests.
There are no guarantees in ANY relationship that it will work out.
I didn't mean it in a derogatory way
I meant the ex wife was all about work and success, climbing up the ladder. Never took the time to enjoy life.
My friend is all about life, fun, hobbies, family, .. she works but she has no interest in becoming the boss of her company. She puts in her work, leaves and enjoys her free time.
HIM:
Top notch executive
Great college education
attractive
very smart
middle aged
HER:
Secretary
high school graduate
attractive
middle aged
They have some of the same hobbies but mainly he can't really talk to her about stuff he is interested about (like politics).
Her favorite topics are celebrities ...
Anyone ever seen it work (outside the bedroom)?
Can they have a fulfilling conversation at the dinner table or does he get bored of her rather quickly because she it not on his level?
Often works fine in that direction. It's the other way around that usually doesn't...when she's the high achiever and he's not up to her level professionally. (Or if he toils away in some lower status occupation, even if decently well compensated. Blue collar guys get a bad rap these days IMO.)
She is watching the news and keeps up with stuff. But she also watches movies at night and is just a regular middle class person. She is not dumb or lazy. Just a regular person.
He is on top of everything. He worked his way up from the bottom because he is hard working and super smart. He wasn't born wealthy, he put in the work. Knows everything, background stories, and feels like a walking dictionary to her. He hardly watches movies, he is more about stock/discovery channel/politics/laws/history, ...
They like to fish, and sports so there is lots of fishing/sports talking and she is knowledgeable in that. But you can't talk about fish/sports and love and family only forever.
If I were her, I would find a way to see how her interests and his can meet.
You say she likes celebrities and that she watches movies at night. Some huge stars have done some deep and/or intellectual work, either in biopics, indy films, or documentaries. Don Cheadle comes to mind first (I just love that guy), but also George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Kate Winslet (whose wardrobe I am not ashamed to admit I envy), and of course, Matt Damon. At the very least, she can tap into her love of movies and fill up her queue with things that she can learn from, or use them as a jumping off point to learn more.
For example, I really was not familiar with the whole issue of conflict diamonds until I saw Blood Diamond, which stars Leonardo DiCaprio. After my nausea subsided, I got right on the internet and learned all I could about the issue. Now I would sooner chew my own hand off than wear a diamond ring. I remember when Hotel Rwanda, which stars Don Cheadle, came out. That film was THE talk of Washington. You couldn't go to a dinner party or anywhere halfway snooty without people discussing it.
No one says she has to know everything about everything. But if she can broaden her horizons, she might just find an issue she can be passionate and knowledgeable about. Never mind doing this to keep up with someone else. It will do wonders for her confidence, self-esteem, and ability to feel like she's part of something bigger than herself.
She is watching the news and keeps up with stuff. But she also watches movies at night and is just a regular middle class person. She is not dumb or lazy. Just a regular person.
He is on top of everything. He worked his way up from the bottom because he is hard working and super smart. He wasn't born wealthy, he put in the work. Knows everything, background stories, and feels like a walking dictionary to her. He hardly watches movies, he is more about stock/discovery channel/politics/laws/history, ...
They like to fish, and sports so there is lots of fishing/sports talking and she is knowledgeable in that. But you can't talk about fish/sports and love and family only forever.
He probably has co-workers and personal acquaintances to banter politics and high minded stuff with. There are many types of companionship; one person doesn't need to satisfy them all.
HIM:
Top notch executive
Great college education
attractive
very smart
middle aged
HER:
Secretary
high school graduate
attractive
middle aged
They have some of the same hobbies but mainly he can't really talk to her about stuff he is interested about (like politics).
Her favorite topics are celebrities ...
Anyone ever seen it work (outside the bedroom)?
Can they have a fulfilling conversation at the dinner table or does he get bored of her rather quickly because she it not on his level?
Of course they can! Why not??
Maybe this is arrogance on my part, but I did not go to college, and feel completely confidant to hold my own in nearly any debate with someone who is highly educated. College is a place that assists an individual to learn how to think. Not to take things at face value, but to think about the why's and wherefore's that made them that way.
If she can think, she should be fine.
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