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The actual story is, that a CEO in his mid 40's got divorced from his wife, who is also a well educated and works on an executive level.
One of his complaints was that she was never there, she was all about work and success and forgot that he has needs. So now he is looking for a woman who is there for him and is more about family and fun.
He meets my friend, who is just lower middle class, about equally attractive as the ex wife. She lives in a little apartment in a not so great area.
She is worried she can't keep up with him and doesn't even want him to see the area she lives in. So far, they have great conversations and everything is perfect, he doesn't let her feel like she is inadequate. But she worries, the sooner or later other topics will naturally arise like politics, news, whatever is going on in the world.
They are about the same age and no, she is not a gold digger. He is not a millionaire, he is just working hard and is succesful.
Wifey and I don't have a lot in common but we communicate very well. Also, both of us are dedicated to our marriage. That's all it takes.
Not much in common and completely different social classes is not completely the same. Not much in common doesn't mean one feels less worthy than the other.
I really don't consider an interest in politics to be class related. Do you really think Paris Hilton is discussing the finer points of a trade deficit?
You seem to want the answer to be no. I go to my husband's parties which is filled with people I do not have much in common with, and I make it work.
If she is so concerned she can start watching the news, and reading a newspaper. It's not "class" is restricting her from learning to become conversant in those areas.
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If the conversation is there, and they get and understand each other, then it can work. They both have to be open to each other and exploring each other. Finding someone that truly wants to get to know you is very hard. Have to put effort forth.
HIM:
Top notch executive
Great college education
attractive
very smart
middle aged
HER:
Secretary
high school graduate
attractive
middle aged
They have some of the same hobbies but mainly he can't really talk to her about stuff he is interested about (like politics).
Her favorite topics are celebrities ...
Anyone ever seen it work (outside the bedroom)?
Can they have a fulfilling conversation at the dinner table or does he get bored of her rather quickly because she it not on his level?
Thing is, one doesn't need to be college-educated and an executive to be aware of current events and what is going on in the world. Likewise, one can be aware of the world and not want to discuss it at the table, or anywhere else. In fact, politics is generally considered to be rude dinner conversation. I'm college-educated, and I am very much aware of what is going on politically here and abroad, but I don't want to talk about it all that much. Too aggravating/depressing!
So the bigger issue here is not one of social class, but of interests and interaction. I forget who said this, but it's not how much the lovers love each other, but how much they love what they love together. Also, I can see him getting bored with her because of what she is interested in, and vice versa. And call me snooty, but from his POV, I'd find her lack of curiosity and awareness of the issues, as well as her preoccupation with what I consider to be vapid subject matter, to be the mark of intellectual laziness. Personally, that would put me off. But I'm not a man, and I know that some men are more interested in what's between the legs than what's between the ears.
I really don't consider an interest in politics to be class related. Do you really think Paris Hilton is discussing the finer points of a trade deficit?
You seem to want the answer to be no. I go to my husband's parties which is filled with people I do not have much in common with, and I make it work.
If she is so concerned she can start watching the news, and reading a newspaper. It's not "class" is restricting her from learning to become conversant in those areas.
I took politics as an example, not sure what he actually talks about with his buddies and ex wife.
To discuss the current events often takes a bit more than reading the news - there is alot of background information and history you have to know to be able to discuss things.
My friend is just very scared that he discovers one day she is not on his level. And pooof - there he goes.
So because she is so scared, she overanalizes every conversation they have. She is worried to even drink even one cocktail with him, because being tipsy might cause that she gets careless about how and what she says and he dumps her for beeing too trashy.
She is not trashy, she is just very simple, all about family, children and hobbies. Work is not a priority for her, but she doesn't need him financially to life an okay life. His life was about career, work, college, and wealthy friends so far.
She told me she even considers 5x about how any of ther texts could be interpreted by him and is thinking about telling him she doesn't want to text anymore.
To sum it up, she is walking on eggshells, waiting for him to leave her. They have been friends for a few months and just started dating.
Also, I can see him getting bored with her because of what she is interested in, and vice versa. And call me snooty, but from his POV, I'd find her lack of curiosity and awareness of the issues, as well as her preoccupation with what I consider to be vapid subject matter, to be the mark of intellectual laziness. Personally, that would put me off. But I'm not a man, and I know that some men are more interested in what's between the legs than what's between the ears.
She is watching the news and keeps up with stuff. But she also watches movies at night and is just a regular middle class person. She is not dumb or lazy. Just a regular person.
He is on top of everything. He worked his way up from the bottom because he is hard working and super smart. He wasn't born wealthy, he put in the work. Knows everything, background stories, and feels like a walking dictionary to her. He hardly watches movies, he is more about stock/discovery channel/politics/laws/history, ...
They like to fish, and sports so there is lots of fishing/sports talking and she is knowledgeable in that. But you can't talk about fish/sports and love and family only forever.
She going to cause more problems than actually exist. He said he was looking for what she brings to the table. Might he get bored later? Sure. Or not.
Personally I have no trouble asking someone to explain something to me when I have no knowledge of what the are talking about. I'm naturally inquisitive. I can't hurt her to develop some interest in his interests, and grow as a person.
I have to say that SHE doesn't sound very happy in the relationship. It's certainly not healthy that she considers herself below his level, just because he is career oriented.
It is not uncommon for a very career driven man to want a woman who is more domestically inclined. Sometimes it's a balance that is needed.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
The actual story is, that a CEO in his mid 40's got divorced from his wife, who is also a well educated and works on an executive level.
One of his complaints was that she was never there, she was all about work and success and forgot that he has needs. So now he is looking for a woman who is there for him and is more about family and fun.
He meets my friend, who is just lower middle class, about equally attractive as the ex wife. She lives in a little apartment in a not so great area.
She is worried she can't keep up with him and doesn't even want him to see the area she lives in. So far, they have great conversations and everything is perfect, he doesn't let her feel like she is inadequate. But she worries, the sooner or later other topics will naturally arise like politics, news, whatever is going on in the world.
They are about the same age and no, she is not a gold digger. He is not a millionaire, he is just working hard and is succesful.
So...if she is concerned she won't be able to hold her own in conversation, she could start reading the newspaper I'ts really not hard.
As for carrying on conversation in social settings...even if she doesn't have much in common, she can always ask others to tell her about themselves and ask them questions about things that interest them. People like to talk aboutthemselves, so they'll like her,(assuming she can manage an appropriate interest level) and she 'll learn something!
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