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This has come up again. It always comes up and I don't know how to deal with it. A guy who i didnt know but seemed interesting asked me for my number. We traded numbers by text. Then after that I say to him that I'm not a big texter to try to let him know how I feel. Then he starts asking me questions about myself by text immediately and just generally trying to chat, which is the thing i hate. This is where I have trouble and don't know what to do. I know if I ignore his texts and not respond, then i know it will make him think that I'm not interested in him when in fact I am. But if I respond then it makes him think that I like texting. I always end up responding because I don't want to appear uninterested or rude, and then he proceeds to chat text me to death and I grow increasing irritated. I will usually then make another comment about how I'm not too keen on texting. Which the guy will either continue to completely ignore, which ends up turning me off of him (due to the growing irritation) or he will take my comment as an insult/rejection/rude/something negative and snap. The guy I just met said "Well then don't text me". I responded "Fair enough" but im pretty sure he's mad. I don't know what that's about. I never know how to bridge this gap with any guy, since most I meet love texting. Maybe it's impossible.
When he texts, what is stopping you from calling him instead of texting back?
I text the little thinking of you messages with SO or friends but I have no interest in carrying on lengthy conversations by text. And at the start of a dating relationship, getting to know you needs to be more in-depth than typed words allows for. When SO and I first met, we IM'd the first night for 3 hours then spent about 3 hours talking on the phone the next night. We texted a lot but no phone calls would have left me feeling very detached from him.
People can be critical of us "old" folks, but I am curious what you're so afraid of that you don't want to pick up the phone and hear the other person's voice.
When he texts, what is stopping you from calling him instead of texting back?
I just met him the same day and didn't feel like calling him yet. He seemed to want to talk and I told him he could call me but instead he wanted to text for several days, until I got irritated. It doesn't matter it's over and done with now, I'm sure we won't be speaking anymore. He is upset with me. I was just asking because I wondered how to deal with this when it comes up. Let me phrase it another way:
-Guy is interested in talking with you and asks you for your number
-You say yes you'd like to talk but ask if he could call you to talk because you're not a big texter
-He says okay
-He proceeds to text you instead of calling. A LOT.
I just met him the same day and didn't feel like calling him yet. He seemed to want to talk and I told him he could call me but instead he wanted to text for several days, until I got irritated. It doesn't matter it's over and done with now, I'm sure we won't be speaking anymore. He is upset with me. I was just asking because I wondered how to deal with this when it comes up. Let me phrase it another way:
-Guy is interested in talking with you and asks you for your number
-You say yes you'd like to talk but ask if he could call you to talk because you're not a big texter
-He says okay
-He proceeds to text you instead of calling. A LOT.
What do you do?
The first time he texts you, text him you'd rather get a phone call. If he keeps texting, do you really want to date.the guy?
OP, if you tell a guy you prefer phone conversations to texting, and he doesn't call you but continues texting, then I would just move on because obviously your communication styles are different. You made your preference known and he ignored it.
I love texting, but I think the problem comes when people use texting to try to get to know each other or talk about something really important in the relationship. To me texting is more for casual conversation in established relationships whether they're romantic or platonic.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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This is so simple... if he starts a texting conversation with you, don't respond, just call him and say you'd rather talk than text and have the conversation that was started.
^^^^ excuse me lordvader, I think you've got some...uh.... hanging..off... uh.....the edge of your.... post, there
I dig the excitement of a new relationship is fun and engaging, but don't you people have jobs? I've been doing landscaping for the past 7 years, and it drives me nuts to see one of my new guys fartin around, all beaming in the face because he's got a new gal. If I let all my guys use their phones, there is no work getting done.
While I do value all of the married/attached guys opinions and their past experience, I am asking this question to the currently single guys.
Would it be a deal-breaker to you if a woman you are interested in requested not to text (with each other)? This is assuming she told you she was okay with talking on the phone, getting together person, and short emails after you know each other well.
FYI: I did not create this to be a thread to ***** about texting, I just want to know from the guys what they would think if they received this request.
Not an issue. No longer single, but I have always preferred phone calls, because they are the clearest and best way of communicating if you aren't face to face.
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