5 reasons why marriage wasn't meant to be monogamous. (females, calling, definition)
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Me too. But it seemed to me that your point was incorrect that experiencing jealousy is incompatible with polyamory. From what I understand, it is not uncommon at all in relationships in which new additions to the team are part of the experience. Yin and yang, perhaps, compersion and jealousy.
I had jealousy issues when we got married and women who seemingly hadn't noticed my husband before, started noticing him when he was wearing ring. I admitted it and I dealt with it. Otherwise, we haven't had issues with jealousy.
It sounds like jealousy/feeling left out happens more often in polyamory. I dislike "feelings" conversations, but these things must be dealt with. If it happens more often in poly relationships, then I'd have to have these types of conversations more often. Hence, it would get old fast. That's fine if others want to deal with it. But that would be a problem for me.
Jealousy is usually based in fear, and often expressed as anger. Conversations aren't really the answer - yes, the object of the jealousy may have to listen non-judgmentally about the jealous partner's feelings, but it is the job of the person experiencing it to work through. Often the target isn't doing anything wrong, but the jealous person perceives it as such.
There is an excellent chapter on jealousy and how to work through it in the book "The Ethical Slvt". Much of it also applies to monogamous relationship jealousy.
Jealousy is usually based in fear, and often expressed as anger. Conversations aren't really the answer - yes, the object of the jealousy may have to listen non-judgmentally about the jealous partner's feelings, but it is the job of the person experiencing it to work through. Often the target isn't doing anything wrong, but the jealous person perceives it as such.
There is an excellent chapter on jealousy and how to work through it in the book "The Ethical Slvt". Much of it also applies to monogamous relationship jealousy.
Yeah, I don't need the lecture. I was just pointing out that I, personally, wouldn't want to deal with a relationship where these issues raise their head more often.
Yeah, I don't need the lecture. I was just pointing out that I, personally, wouldn't want to deal with a relationship where these issues raise their head more often.
I understand that. I think that your assumption that they arise more often is flawed.
Those who think that marriage is not a sacred trust and that monogamy is not important will never do well in the mafia - Loyalty is an absolute must. If I were a boss and wanted to put a person in a high position of trust - I would not if they could not be trusted by their spouse...also if they were in an "open" relationship...I would understand they are not really capable of having a relationship - and I could NOT respect them.
Those who think that marriage is not a sacred trust and that monogamy is not important will never do well in the mafia - Loyalty is an absolute must. If I were a boss and wanted to put a person in a high position of trust - I would not if they could not be trusted by their spouse...also if they were in an "open" relationship...I would understand they are not really capable of having a relationship - and I could NOT respect them.
I don't think poly's are concerned about your trust or getting into the mafia.
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I admitted it and I dealt with it. Otherwise, we haven't had issues with jealousy.
