Anyone from NY who has moved to the Triangle and really likes it? (Charlotte: apartment complex, house)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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Just out of curiosity, ferro28, where in Raleigh did this happen? I'm an atheist/agnostic/secular/non-religious person who's been living in Raleigh and the surrounding area off-and-on for about 12 years or so now, and my experience in Wake, Durham, and Orange Counties has never been at all like what you described. I'm sure it could happen, but I'm equally sure that it would be rare enough that it shouldn't need to substantially affect most people's overall experience here. Sometimes when I go out into the country in the more rural parts of North Carolina, I do encounter a bit more of the preachiness, the Jesus stuff, and the why-I'm-not-in-church-on-Sunday-morning thing, but that doesn't ever bother me, since it's infrequent and hardly oppressive, and clearly just a matter of those people exercising their freedoms of speech, action, and religion just as I'm exercising mine. I know you say you got tired of "shrugging it off" for years in Raleigh, but I'm genuinely surprised that it happened often enough for you to have to be burdened by frequent shrugging. Again, where in Raleigh were you living where this happened? It's hard to envision it happening with any regularity downtown, the hipster neighborhoods Inside the Beltline, the areas around N.C. State, or in the vast suburban sprawl of North Raleigh. The only place in Raleigh where I've ever experienced a bit more Christian judgementalism at times is in some of the African-American communities, but even that has been minimal, and certainly not nearly enough to make me want to move away. Again, it's their (or anyone's) right to proselytize about their views of religion, just as it's my (or anyone's) right to demur.
North Raleigh. The gas station was north towards Oxford. The comments were made by parents of my daughters classmates (and the classmates themselves), neighbors, cashiers in stores, and one horrific experience in a hospital when I thought I was making a friend with someone else who was visiting a dying relative. But it turned out when we next met she had an armful of pamphlets on Jesus for me to study to help cope with death. Comments were also made at a funeral of a dear elderly man that I befriended. I was called an anti-semitic name by a relative who implied that my now dead friend had a special (derogatory) name for me- I still haven't gotten over that one. I have more stories that I do not want to post on a public board. If you care to hear about them, send me a PM. These incidents did not happen daily, they were over a period of time, but most of the time they were made by people I knew in some way, and I took it personally.
I have lived in other cities and states and was never confronted with these issues like I was in NC. And, like I said, not everyone has these experiences, but I did and it hurt me to the core when it came from people I thought were friends. Where I now live religion is a private matter- no one asks, talks, or preaches about how they believe or don't believe. Very accepting, diverse, and freeing. I love it and now feel like I've come home.
Golly, I'm freshly new in Durham and surprised that there is so little religion here. I run into plenty of people here who could use a little.
My biggest two perceptions is that any time I want anything, I have to drive for an hour. And there ain't no food here at all. It seems like everything in the supermarkets is like you'd find in a convenience store or a truck stop.
Golly, I'm freshly new in Durham and surprised that there is so little religion here. I run into plenty of people here who could use a little.
My biggest two perceptions is that any time I want anything, I have to drive for an hour. And there ain't no food here at all. It seems like everything in the supermarkets is like you'd find in a convenience store or a truck stop.
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I have the same experience as you with religion. I have never been asked about mine in all my years here. You lose me on the having to drive an hour for anything and the bad supermarket comment. I have a hard time finding anyplace where you can't find things within a very short drive if not a walk. And we have lots of different grocery stores including Trader Joes, Fresh Market and Whole Paycheck. Where do you live that you have to drive for an hour?
NY to NC.
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You did say you were a programmer so I tried to make my response in programming language. The language I used was a little known one call <dansdrive> and has been know to contain bugs so I commend you for asking the great city-data folks that contribute to this great site for advise. The last thing you would want to do is call out a sub routine that is anything but routine to find your answers.
I could think of a 100 worse places to call home than NC!
I have the same experience as you with religion. I have never been asked about mine in all my years here. You lose me on the having to drive an hour for anything and the bad supermarket comment. I have a hard time finding anyplace where you can't find things within a very short drive if not a walk. And we have lots of different grocery stores including Trader Joes, Fresh Market and Whole Paycheck. Where do you live that you have to drive for an hour?
i'd be curious to hear this as well, especially given the number of posts you've made complaining about issues like this which seem to indicate that they really annoy you.
A couple of quick points - the only place you'll find an hour driving commute in NC is around Charlotte. Public transit options are limited.
I can see why the bible belt guy got freaked out in Charlotte, the whole Billy Graham thing and the preachers of damnation and brimstone downtown can frighten some. I don't mind it really, but that's because I am comfortable in my atheism and enjoy debating religious people. The RDU Triangle doesn't really have any strong religious overtones - people go overboard to be tolerant.
I posted this elsewhere and will repeat it here and hopefully that isn't a protocol violation or anything.
In my opinion, moving from NY you can't go wrong with the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area. Durham is a great city in transition and it has a lot going on for it. Great food from local farms, Durham Performing Arts Center, the Durham Bulls and the redevelopment of downtown have really turned the City around without really snuffing out the feel of an old southern tobacco town. And having Duke as one of the main institutions, you have access to world-class medicine, art, academics and so on.
Chapel Hill is a great town too, but it's really more focused on UNC. Not that there's anything wrong with that as people from all over the world converge on Chapel Hill and make it a place that is truly a crossroads of culture, entertainment, education and community engagement. It's not quite as edgy as Durham, but it has great restaurants, sports and people will make you feel very welcome there.
I would say that anyone from the greater NYC metro area that is looking to get out of the traffic, out of the stress and into a more relaxed way of life will find the Triangle to be the place to go. Wilmington and Asheville present an alternative. Charlotte is also nice, but it's quite a bit more Southern and commerce-oriented, while the Triangle, Asheville and Wilmington are easier to adapt to culture-wise. You go to Charlotte for banking jobs and well-attended churches. You come to the Triangle for a more intellectually-stimulating experience.
I really can't say enough good things about Hillsborough, the town just outside Chapel Hill and Durham where we live now. Check it out - Hillsborough is a great place to live and you are about 15 minutes away from both Chapel Hill and Durham. Hillsborough is a small town, about 6,000 residents, very artsy. LGBT NYC Metro people will find Hillsborough to be a great place to live. Matthew's Chocolates, Weaver Street Market, Antonia's, Ayr Mount, Panciuto, Hillsborough BBQ, both Farmers' Markets and The Wooden Nickel Pub make Hillsborough the best small town I have ever known.
Raleigh is a great city too. It's actually come a long way since I first visited. It has a more spread-out feel to it, though there are some really good neighborhoods in the older parts of the City. I don't spend much time there, but I read recently that Fortune or some magazine like that rated Raleigh as one of the top cities to live in in the US because of all the museums, art, restaurants, schools, cultural events and so on. I was actually surprised to hear that Raleigh had so much going on, it seems kind of a sleepy city sometimes.
If you are in the life sciences, software or telecommunications industries the RDU Triangle area has a strong venture funding community as well. While it's not like Atlanta, Silicon Valley or New York, there are a lot of really bright people here doing cool things in technology and life sciences. It's a great place to start a business - the people here work their butts off and are creative and smart.
And then there's the airport - reachable in 20 minutes or less 99 percent of the time from just about anywhere in the general RDU Triangle area. Direct flights to most major US cities, (non-stop service to SFO starting in July) London, Toronto as well. Served by Southwest, Jet Blue, Delta, United, American - all the majors. The new terminal opened about a year ago I guess and it is so easy to get in and out of RDU you won't believe it.
If you are into sports and can bear to leave your favorite teams behind, you will find common ground with the other gazillions of fanatics here. My seven year-old daughter had to declare whether she was for Duke or UNC, that's how crazy sports fans are here. But you know what - I'm okay with that because it's like having an instant community to join. And watching the 'Canes is great fun too - who'd have thunk they'd do hockey in the South, but it works!
And probably the most important thing I can talk about when talking about the Triangle is the people. Triangle people by and large are tolerant, worldly, patient, kind, neighborly and smart. Sure, you can drive 30-50 miles in any direction outward and find yourself in parts of the country where dental hygiene, running water, medical care and liberals are in short supply, but even then it's not like it's Mississippi or anything. But the people in the Triangle are proud of what they have built from the ashes of the tobacco warehouses, cotton mills and furniture factories that first built the state. Smart people here know that North Carolina is the success that it is because of things like the private-public partnership that built the Research Triangle Park starting way back in the 50's and 60's. Go look up Bill Friday on Google and you will see the kind of soul that North Carolina creates.
It's also great being in between the beach and the mountains. You can go either way depending on what you feel like doing. The NC beaches are the best in the US for clarity, cleanliness and great water. If you surf, Hatteras rocks. If you like swimming in the ocean, NC is the best. If you are looking for the Jersey Shore, sorry, no help for you here. Try the beach megalopolises like Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Hilton Head and go to NC's towns and cities on the shore for a unique and quiet experience. Save Wrightsville Beach for the college kids.....
The skiing in the mountains isn't like New Hampshire or Vermont, but it's pretty good. Asheville is a great town - the Grove Park Inn is probably the best spa I have ever been to and I've been to many! Lots of hippies, yoga, sprouts, veg-friendly lifestyle, arts and so on.
So that's my rundown of the state of things in North Carolina.
Actually exact same thing happened to me in North Raleigh inside 540 outer belt about 8 years ago in a Harris Teeter ... on a Sunday morn. And my guess is that no fewer than 50 people have tried to "save" me here. Also I've lived down here long enough to recall several cross burnings in Wake and Durham counties...
Good gosh, nomad99, I've lived here all my life and am in my late 40s and I don't recall any cross burnings!! When did those happen? (I'm sure there must have been some in my childhood, but I don't recall any since becoming aware of the news.) I do recall some Klan marches in NC, specifically the 1979 tragedy in Greensboro, but I don't recall any cross burnings in the Triangle.
I've definitely been proselytized all my life and have certainly been aware of many racist incidents, but neither has been as frequent in the Triangle as elsewhere in NC and other parts of the South.
I grew up here and still find some people to be backwards. I will say there is a huge difference between the central areas of the triangle and further out. From accents to attitude. I notice your location is Willow Speing, so that may have much todo with what you are seeing.
Actually that opinion does not come from Willow Spring, but rather the people I worked with in downtown Raleigh ! Scary in my opionion!
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