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Have you considered selling your house in Willow Spring and moving further into the Triangle? You're out in the sticks. No wonder you're always unhappy.
Yeah I agree. NYC to Willow Spring = culture shock. Some people think that's what they really want and then they recover their senses. I think most people do the "Yeah, I'm going to buy 10 acres in the country and change my whole way of life!" But then when you tell those same people they didn't do enough research before they moved, you're the Negative Nelly!
Willow Spring is a lovely area. The people there are some of the most genuine and kindest you will find in NC. Very forwards, not backwards. Open arms and open hearts. I've met many happy people there and very few not happy. Shout out to Amy.
2 words: bible belt. I visited Charlotte twice and the bible influence was super strong and made me super uncomfortable. I have no clue if it is still like that now. And no clue if the whole state is like that but it was too religious and preachy for me down there.
I left after 10 years of people trying to convert me for my own good. Not everyone has this type of experience, but my family had many instances of preaching, asking which church we attended, and telling me until I accept Jesus I will be unhappy.
i even got yelled at by a gas station cashier the first weekend we arrived In Raleigh. My daughter and I were driving around on our first Sunday there, I needed gas and the oldish man behind the counter raised his voice at me and said," why aren't you and your daughter in church ?" I ran out after I said that my rabbi wouldn't approve.
Some people can shrug this off, I know I did for years, but there came a point when I had enough and relocated to an area where no one really speaks about religion.
I forgot to say that aside from the preaching and the BB influence, I enjoyed my time there.
Last edited by ferro28; 07-01-2012 at 04:34 AM..
Reason: add
I left after 10 years of people trying to convert me for my own good. Not everyone has this type of experience, but my family had many instances of preaching, asking which church we attended, and telling me until I accept Jesus I will be unhappy.
i even got yelled at by a gas station cashier the first weekend we arrived In Raleigh. My daughter and I were driving around on our first Sunday there, I needed gas and the oldish man behind the counter raised his voice at me and said," why aren't you and your daughter in church ?" I ran out after I said that my rabbi wouldn't approve.
Some people can shrug this off, I know I did for years, but there came a point when I had enough and relocated to an area where no one really speaks about religion.
I forgot to say that aside from the preaching and the BB influence, I enjoyed my time there.
Just out of curiosity, ferro28, where in Raleigh did this happen? I'm an atheist/agnostic/secular/non-religious person who's been living in Raleigh and the surrounding area off-and-on for about 12 years or so now, and my experience in Wake, Durham, and Orange Counties has never been at all like what you described. I'm sure it could happen, but I'm equally sure that it would be rare enough that it shouldn't need to substantially affect most people's overall experience here. Sometimes when I go out into the country in the more rural parts of North Carolina, I do encounter a bit more of the preachiness, the Jesus stuff, and the why-I'm-not-in-church-on-Sunday-morning thing, but that doesn't ever bother me, since it's infrequent and hardly oppressive, and clearly just a matter of those people exercising their freedoms of speech, action, and religion just as I'm exercising mine. I know you say you got tired of "shrugging it off" for years in Raleigh, but I'm genuinely surprised that it happened often enough for you to have to be burdened by frequent shrugging. Again, where in Raleigh were you living where this happened? It's hard to envision it happening with any regularity downtown, the hipster neighborhoods Inside the Beltline, the areas around N.C. State, or in the vast suburban sprawl of North Raleigh. The only place in Raleigh where I've ever experienced a bit more Christian judgementalism at times is in some of the African-American communities, but even that has been minimal, and certainly not nearly enough to make me want to move away. Again, it's their (or anyone's) right to proselytize about their views of religion, just as it's my (or anyone's) right to demur.
I was born and raised here and can't remember ever being interrogated regarding my lack of regular churchgoing habits. This includes any time I've spent out in more rural areas.
I moved here by way of Brooklyn, San Antonio, Savannah, Atlanta, Wilmington (DE), Macon, and Tallahassee. It has it's plus and minus. I do like the diversity of the area, it's not too southern nor is it too northern. I currently live in the uncongested part of Cary and I believe if I was to stay here for good, I would not leave this area of Wake County.
Dating on the other hand for me has been a problem. Or the problem could be that the same misguided thought process has been implemented by most American women. Just one man's opinion.
Dating... hard to evaluate that. I make no claims to being a master of pickups, but there seems to be an endless supply of attractive single women with relatively open-minded views here. I had no trouble finding girls interested in polyamory or casual relationships. It's a fairly progressive area. I think online dating might be the key, as the nightlife isn't quite developed enough, and the population here is a bit more geeky and introverted. Note that the population is also younger, on average.
I'm bisexual and I've also dated men... I'd say the gay dating pool is present but prepare for it to be a lot smaller than it would be in a major city with a well-developed scene like New York or even Atlanta. Definitely easier to find girls.
I also have to echo TomPope's post. I'm an atheist and I've never met any hostility here. The population is quite secular, and generally left-leaning. It seems like the presence of fundamentalists is very low. I don't think I saw a single pro-amendment 1 poster anywhere leading up to the vote on May 8th. Perhaps 20 years ago it was different, but half the people living here now ~were not here~ 20 years ago.
Triangle is the best place to be in NC for relocating Yankees
A couple of quick points - the only place you'll find an hour driving commute in NC is around Charlotte. Public transit options are limited.
I can see why the bible belt guy got freaked out in Charlotte, the whole Billy Graham thing and the preachers of damnation and brimstone downtown can frighten some. I don't mind it really, but that's because I am comfortable in my atheism and enjoy debating religious people. The RDU Triangle doesn't really have any strong religious overtones - people go overboard to be tolerant.
I posted this elsewhere and will repeat it here and hopefully that isn't a protocol violation or anything.
In my opinion, moving from NY you can't go wrong with the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area. Durham is a great city in transition and it has a lot going on for it. Great food from local farms, Durham Performing Arts Center, the Durham Bulls and the redevelopment of downtown have really turned the City around without really snuffing out the feel of an old southern tobacco town. And having Duke as one of the main institutions, you have access to world-class medicine, art, academics and so on.
Chapel Hill is a great town too, but it's really more focused on UNC. Not that there's anything wrong with that as people from all over the world converge on Chapel Hill and make it a place that is truly a crossroads of culture, entertainment, education and community engagement. It's not quite as edgy as Durham, but it has great restaurants, sports and people will make you feel very welcome there.
I would say that anyone from the greater NYC metro area that is looking to get out of the traffic, out of the stress and into a more relaxed way of life will find the Triangle to be the place to go. Wilmington and Asheville present an alternative. Charlotte is also nice, but it's quite a bit more Southern and commerce-oriented, while the Triangle, Asheville and Wilmington are easier to adapt to culture-wise. You go to Charlotte for banking jobs and well-attended churches. You come to the Triangle for a more intellectually-stimulating experience.
I really can't say enough good things about Hillsborough, the town just outside Chapel Hill and Durham where we live now. Check it out - Hillsborough is a great place to live and you are about 15 minutes away from both Chapel Hill and Durham. Hillsborough is a small town, about 6,000 residents, very artsy. LGBT NYC Metro people will find Hillsborough to be a great place to live. Matthew's Chocolates, Weaver Street Market, Antonia's, Ayr Mount, Panciuto, Hillsborough BBQ, both Farmers' Markets and The Wooden Nickel Pub make Hillsborough the best small town I have ever known.
Raleigh is a great city too. It's actually come a long way since I first visited. It has a more spread-out feel to it, though there are some really good neighborhoods in the older parts of the City. I don't spend much time there, but I read recently that Fortune or some magazine like that rated Raleigh as one of the top cities to live in in the US because of all the museums, art, restaurants, schools, cultural events and so on. I was actually surprised to hear that Raleigh had so much going on, it seems kind of a sleepy city sometimes.
If you are in the life sciences, software or telecommunications industries the RDU Triangle area has a strong venture funding community as well. While it's not like Atlanta, Silicon Valley or New York, there are a lot of really bright people here doing cool things in technology and life sciences. It's a great place to start a business - the people here work their butts off and are creative and smart.
And then there's the airport - reachable in 20 minutes or less 99 percent of the time from just about anywhere in the general RDU Triangle area. Direct flights to most major US cities, (non-stop service to SFO starting in July) London, Toronto as well. Served by Southwest, Jet Blue, Delta, United, American - all the majors. The new terminal opened about a year ago I guess and it is so easy to get in and out of RDU you won't believe it.
If you are into sports and can bear to leave your favorite teams behind, you will find common ground with the other gazillions of fanatics here. My seven year-old daughter had to declare whether she was for Duke or UNC, that's how crazy sports fans are here. But you know what - I'm okay with that because it's like having an instant community to join. And watching the 'Canes is great fun too - who'd have thunk they'd do hockey in the South, but it works!
And probably the most important thing I can talk about when talking about the Triangle is the people. Triangle people by and large are tolerant, worldly, patient, kind, neighborly and smart. Sure, you can drive 30-50 miles in any direction outward and find yourself in parts of the country where dental hygiene, running water, medical care and liberals are in short supply, but even then it's not like it's Mississippi or anything. But the people in the Triangle are proud of what they have built from the ashes of the tobacco warehouses, cotton mills and furniture factories that first built the state. Smart people here know that North Carolina is the success that it is because of things like the private-public partnership that built the Research Triangle Park starting way back in the 50's and 60's. Go look up Bill Friday on Google and you will see the kind of soul that North Carolina creates.
It's also great being in between the beach and the mountains. You can go either way depending on what you feel like doing. The NC beaches are the best in the US for clarity, cleanliness and great water. If you surf, Hatteras rocks. If you like swimming in the ocean, NC is the best. If you are looking for the Jersey Shore, sorry, no help for you here. Try the beach megalopolises like Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Hilton Head and go to NC's towns and cities on the shore for a unique and quiet experience. Save Wrightsville Beach for the college kids.....
The skiing in the mountains isn't like New Hampshire or Vermont, but it's pretty good. Asheville is a great town - the Grove Park Inn is probably the best spa I have ever been to and I've been to many! Lots of hippies, yoga, sprouts, veg-friendly lifestyle, arts and so on.
So that's my rundown of the state of things in North Carolina.
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Triangle is the best place to be in NC for relocating Yankees
