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I haven't read every single post on this thread so I don't know if this topic has been brought up...
What about women who are able to conceive when they are very young or very old? Like a 9-year old and 55-years old? At both of those extremes, the likelyhood of having regular periods is very small so they aren't likely to notice they are pregnant for some time.
Do you think they should be allowed to have abortions?
I can't fathom forcing a 9-year old to have a child. On the other hand, I can't fathom forcing a 55-year old woman to have a child either -- particularly if she has pre-existing health issues (which is more likely in an older woman).
My impression and folks will correct me if I am wrong is that generally an anti-abortion proponent is against abortion in most, if not, all cases, while many pro-choice advocates may not make the number of distinctions you raise here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UB50
I haven't read every single post on this thread so I don't know if this topic has been brought up...
What about women who are able to conceive when they are very young or very old? Like a 9-year old and 55-years old? At both of those extremes, the likelyhood of having regular periods is very small so they aren't likely to notice they are pregnant for some time.
Do you think they should be allowed to have abortions?
I can't fathom forcing a 9-year old to have a child. On the other hand, I can't fathom forcing a 55-year old woman to have a child either -- particularly if she has pre-existing health issues (which is more likely in an older woman).
My mother was not aborted, but not a day goes by where she does not ask that question as an adoptee. I dare say it has ruined her life. Rejected by her own mother, she thinks she is completely unworthy of love and is shows in the relationships she chooses to be in. Just a thought. No, not all adoptees go through that, but not all don't either. Unwanted pregnancy, there are no easy answers.
My impression and folks will correct me if I am wrong is that generally an anti-abortion proponent is against abortion in most, if not, all cases, while many pro-choice advocates may not make the number of distinctions you raise here.
Ha! I come from a family that is "overly-fertile" (is that a good way to put it?) and babies after 45 have been very common. In fact, my father, who is over 85, was born when his mother was over 45 and that was before fertility clinics existed! Since it appears you work in the medical profession, you know what I'm saying when I say that some women have more eggs than others and have the potential to get pregnant at ages others wouldn't even dream of.
Still, it bears thinking about. For a 9-year old, a pregnancy would be totally devastating since, at that age, you usually have had no sex education and no biology classes. (Not to mention that your friends haven't had those things either.) Aren't most 9-year olds in 3rd and 4th grade?
I don't think a 45-year old is too old to have a baby, but I think after 50, again, it should be left up to the woman. At 55, you would really have to be "overly fertile" to get pregnant naturally, but I'm sure it does happen. I would imagine it's probably a rare thing.
No, not all adoptees feel the way your mother does, but I certainly have heard from others how difficult it has been for them to feel their worth.
I hope for her sake, and yours, that she discovers her self-worth and places value on her life--and give her a hug for me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonnenwende
My mother was not aborted, but not a day goes by where she does not ask that question as an adoptee. I dare say it has ruined her life. Rejected by her own mother, she thinks she is completely unworthy of love and is shows in the relationships she chooses to be in. Just a thought. No, not all adoptees go through that, but not all don't either. Unwanted pregnancy, there are no easy answers.
I suppose we all place limits on when it is too early or too late for pregnancy. On the lower end, it is probably unlikely pregnancy was a choice; at the upper level, more and more women (although still a small number) are electing to get pregnant over 40 and 50.
Just about choice and in some cases, happenstance!
Quote:
Originally Posted by UB50
Ha! I come from a family that is "overly-fertile" (is that a good way to put it?) and babies after 45 have been very common. In fact, my father, who is over 85, was born when his mother was over 45 and that was before fertility clinics existed! Since it appears you work in the medical profession, you know what I'm saying when I say that some women have more eggs than others and have the potential to get pregnant at ages others wouldn't even dream of.
Still, it bears thinking about. For a 9-year old, a pregnancy would be totally devastating since, at that age, you usually have had no sex education and no biology classes. (Not to mention that your friends haven't had those things either.) Aren't most 9-year olds in 3rd and 4th grade?
I don't think a 45-year old is too old to have a baby, but I think after 50, again, it should be left up to the woman. At 55, you would really have to be "overly fertile" to get pregnant naturally, but I'm sure it does happen. I would imagine it's probably a rare thing.
Regarding adopted children, I posted a link to a message a woman named Pam Stenzel gave a few years ago in the thread about the HPV vaccine. Pam's mother was raped and became pregnant, but she decided to carry to term. But she wasn't in the ideal position to take care of a child, and so she put Pam up for adoption. She holds no ill feelings towards her mother, but rather respects her choice to give up her daughter so that she could be raised in a stable family.
If anyone would like the link to this message, please PM me.
I can't fathom forcing a 9-year old to have a child. .
This statement jarred a memory from many, many years ago.
I was a 20-something, at Planned Parenthood to get a pap smear.
I was in the usual compromised position, feet in stirrups, waiting for the doc.
I heard a bit of a commotion in the next room over. There was crying.
Finally the door opened and the physician's assistant came in. Sorry for the wait, she said.
A young woman had been brought in by her parents. She had been raped, and she was pregnant.
This girl also had Down's Syndrome; she had the mind of an 8 year old. They were trying to figure out how far along she was. This young girl didn't have a thorough understanding of what had happened to her or what was going on in the examination room, let alone what was going to happen in a few months.
I always wondered how things turned out for her and her family.
I work at a Head Start preschool.
For some of the kids there, the only decent meals and TLC they get are at preschool. I really worry about their future.
On a messageboard it seems so easy to talk about immorality and viability and how people simply should not have sex. But the reality is the birds and the bees and you and me and the hungry little kids I see every day at preschool.
Some of us were wanted, some were not. This is how it always has been, and always will be.
Holy cow, UB50, my tubes are tied, and I certainly hope I am never faced with that woman's decision. My grandma had my mom and her twin sister at age 42, but I am ten years older than that.
Hopefully by exploring, explaining and providing examples, we'll all have a broader view of the complexity of this issue.
Thanks, cil, SunshineBaby and UB50.
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Aren't most 9-year olds in 3rd and 4th grade? 