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It's not the 70s anymore, cost of living isn't cheap, rent is through the roof and bills need to be paid + women (black) want to be attractive and do their thing + settling down to marry after they date.
my parents came here in the 70's, my dad didn't even work until he was 30, my mom took care of him for years. He ended up going to school, getting a good job and leaving her for another woman lol.
He ended up much well off while my mom struggled raising me.
Alot of us come from that background, single parent home or whatever, seeing mother by herself for 20 or more years.
Younger people are scared, very scared.
It's not like we're guaranteed a job these days, jose can do the same job the black man did in the 70's today while having a stronger community, most likely being married with a family which makes employers feel a little better about hiring men, they prefer married men who are stable over single wild dudes who will probably quit on a dime.
So alot of guys like the guy you mentioned lash out because deep down they hate the community and lash out about it daily, especially online to others.
Blacks are trying to mimic whites now, the 70s was about finding a black man and raising a black family while fighting for equality these days it's find a decent man who can provide regardless of race.
Times have changed and we're adjusting, some just don't wanna bother with the nonsense and date out/ marry out and get it over with.
Reality is we think as individuals rather that a group, core of all the problems.
But these folks don't understand real conservatism and what it was founded on.
Where did your folks come from? No offense but I'm not used to seeing this dynamic in black immigrant communities.
On the blue, we have a very deep, inspiring culture, something I personally speak about all the time. To say we have no culture is pure disrespect IMO to all the black men and women, our ancestors, who have been in this country for 500 years. To think we do not have a culture after 500 years of living in a place that is uniquely our own shows a lack of cultural education about us as a demographic and I mean not insult with the above, but I personally feel that the biggest issue facing black America today is ignorance about our culture and history as a people in this country.
I do genealogical research and my family has lines that has been in this country since the 1600s before this country even became a country. I have a culture. I stand on the backs of these people who lived and worked to make their children and down the line, my life much better than they could have ever imagined. To ignore their cultural contributions to us as a people is very disrespectful and unwarranted.
Okay...on patriarchy. Many cultures of the African diaspora were not built upon patriarchy. Our black American culture was not built upon patriarchy. There are many matriarchal cultures in the world. There is not "common culture."
I stated earlier that I blame my husband's views on him believing that because he has a penis he is the sole leader of our family, on his religious upbringing. Christianity has a patriarchal culture and it clashes with our historical culture as a demographic being that blacks in America have never had a 100% true patriarchal existence. No matter what people say to denigrate the feminists, blacks have had a large amount of female lead families for hundreds of years due to our ancestor's status in society and not having the ability to adopt a true Christian patriarchal system.
On your last issue, other ethnicities in America have similar issues to what you have described in that many white men think that their women don't respect them for the "men they are." But my response to that would be, why should a woman respect you just because you have a penis. If you've done nothing worth her respect, if you are living off of her, if you don't help her at home or with finances, if you seek to constantly demean her, why should she just automatically respect you?
And I think that is the gist of the issues with men and women today. Men expect respect just because they are men and don't respect their women. They think they should have MORE respect just because of their penis is how I take it. We can ignore everything women do and act like they are crazy naggers when they are doing a lot of things worthy of respect but because they don't have a penis, they don't deserve to automatically be treated well....? It is an odd mindset that many men have. As stated, I agree with the previous poster who spoke about all men and women having these sorts of issues. I agree with that, but the above of what I wrote is the gist of it IMO. Men think because they have a penis we should respect them and place them above ourselves and our own interest.
This is whole crux of my own prejudice against men that I admit. I see this in all men. The desire to be adored and upheld just because they are a man. It is an odd thing to me.
African-Americans have no culture or independent culture of consequence.
On these, black women are like all other women. The overwhelmingly want a long term, stable relationship with a mate.
On the "who is raising these men" question you posed, as I stated earlier the vast majority of black men had their fathers in their lives. My father raised 3 sons. His father raised him. I know black men who are single fathers. One comes to mind who is distantly related (a 3rd cousin) who had 4 grown sons. He raised them by himself. They have 3 different mothers. The sons are all in the 20s and 30s now. All of them have at least 2 kids. They all have at least 2 different mothers to their children.
I think the whole blame game is pretty silly honestly with the whole black mothers/women are to blame for everything negative that black fathers/men do.
I think the most pressing issue facing black men today is the fact that they don't want to take responsibility for their actions, their behaviors, or their lots in life if they are not where they want to be.
Men grow up and lead their own lives. Girls who are raised without mothers somehow become decent, responsible mothers and people, yet we feel that boys cannot
And again, I am a married black woman to a black man. My husband was raised by a single mother but he has 6 uncles who were heavily involved in his life. He is raising our son and has been in his life since he was born. But it would not surprise me if our son grew up and demeaned black women in the same way that his father has and his uncles and my father has (who grew up with his father as well).
Fatherlessness is very much overplayed by our media and leads too many black people to think that men aren't involved in their children's lives. That may have been the case during the crack epidemic, but it is not so today and even back then black men were majority involved in their childrens lives and raising their children.
The vast majority of black children are not being raised by their fathers, your anecdotal example notwithstanding. By raising, I mean living with their biological children up to the age of majority. That figure is 20% for black kids.
African-Americans have no culture or independent culture of consequence.
That is your opinion.
Your opinion regarding an "independent culture of consequence" can be placed upon every colonized country, including the one your family is from due to those nations/tribes being dependent or disrupted by their colonizers.
As stated in my response, to deny we have a culture is willful ignorance.
The vast majority of black children are not being raised by their fathers, your anecdotal example notwithstanding. By raising, I mean living with their biological children up to the age of majority. That figure is 20% for black kids.
So according to you, my dad didn't raise me since he didn't live in my house until I was 18 (lol on this, FWIW my dad lived 2 blocks from where I lived from age 8-18).
Uh huh...
And most couples get divorced today and don't live with those children of divorce. According to you divorced parents don't raise their children.... (lol on this too, my own dad and my mom, their parents divorced by the time they were 12-13 years old. According to you, since their parents broke up the fathers didn't raise the children)
Uh huh...
I'll note, I remember you saying you were raised by a single mother and your father left your mother like slarock shared.
If/when you have children, I guess you will be a horrible father as a black man based upon you not having a father to raise you...
Again, my point was very clear on my responses to slarock in particular. Black men need to take responsibility for their own personal actions. Ignoring the disrespect and misogyny of their friends/families does nothing to build strong families.
A woman will not respect you in todays day and age just because you have a penis. And you have to do more with the body and mind attached to said appendage and behave in a respectable way to be respected.
Your father left because he wanted to leave just like slarock's did. Ironically, my mother threw my dad out due to lots of issues going on with my dad, but mostly because of his disrespect towards her and his misogynistic attitude when he was a younger man. She got sick of doing everything and left. However, she and he both raised their children. There was never a time in my life where I was not emotionally, physically, or financially supported by my father. Black fathers who do not live in the home overwhelmingly are like my own dad and they raise their children usually as co-parents with the mother. Being married and or co-habiting with the mother of a child does not make someone a better parent in most instances. Many parent better in separate homes.
Since the discussion is about black men and there have been some immigrant black men in the picture, I wanted to also point out my own personal view that black American men usually are much less misogynistic than those who are or are children of recent immigrants. This is primarily due to IMO to the fact that many of the nations that black immigrants come from have much more domineering and misogynistic men who do feel that men should always be respected over women no matter what - they are very misogynic, similar to other immigrant groups of men like Latinos and Asians. I do think this is a factor in the issues within the black community at large as well. One of my aunts married a man from Africa and she divorced him because he was of the belief that she needed to do specific chores and treat him in a specific way once they got married. They had dated for over 2 years prior to marrying and he wasn't like that during that time. After they divorced he got into and is still in a longterm relationship with a white woman and has even said that the same old same old thing of "white women know how to treat a man" thing in that he characterized white women as "better" and at the same time more "weak" than a black woman.
It is always interesting to me the males of these immigrants groups going on and on about blaming women for issues when in this country many of them, unless we use Edward's definition are not "raised" anyway by their own dads. If they do live in the same household/are married, the mother still does everything and works and raises the children while the dad sits and watches TV, plays video games, or hangs out with his friends/involved in their fraternities/societies and pays little attention to the children and doesn't do hardly anything to care for those children.
Last edited by residinghere2007; 04-13-2017 at 10:47 AM..
African-Americans have no culture or independent culture of consequence.
You should visit the Schomburg. For over 90 years all reputable scholars in the study of African American culture and history are in disagreement with you. ..but perhaps you have uncovered new research contrary to the New York public library's vast collection.
I wouldn't completely dismiss blue collar guys if I were you. Some of them make more money than folks with PhD.
Women in the US are taught that blue collar guys are beneath them and are lower status men. More women go to college than men. This is another thing liberal elites caused so yeah I'm sure plenty of black men get screwed just like plenty of white or hispanic guys in that category do.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 04-13-2017 at 10:42 AM..
African-Americans have no culture or independent culture of consequence.
The notion that Black Americans (I strongly dislike the label "African" being used to apply to Americans who have no real immediate ties to African nations) have no culture is asinine. Black American culture is largely American.
I always find it hilarious when non Black Americans attempt to rebuke Black Americans. Sorry to say this, but if your culture was so great and your native homeland was worthwhile, you would be there.. not here.
I've visited several nations in West Africa and although I enjoy learning about their histories and way of life, it is simply not my background or culture and I don't believe in pretending that it is.
Last edited by Water4Life; 04-13-2017 at 11:26 AM..
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