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At one time Booker T. Washington spoke of the "gentleman laborer" and during the turn of the century the most highly educated black men were train porters. Today a blue collar black man is not the same catch as he was from even back in the 50's or 60's. Black women have higher literacy rates an educational attainment than black men and have to compete for the few educated black men within their class. Black men need to stay in school or at least become literate if they want to be considered a catch today.
I know single blue collar black men who probably have a half a million dollars in the bank but haven't read a book since they were in elementary school. They wonder why that attractive well educated black women shows no interest in them.
The Asian model of finding a man to support you and then falling in love later might not work with black women because black women and men are equals and have been from the colonial period.
There has been an argument going around for years that BM overseas are morally better off than BM from the states.
See my previous post regarding in my own view, I consider many black immigrant men to be extremly misogynistic. I don't think they are morally better than black American men. I honestly think black American men are "better" because they are not as misogynistic as foreign/immigrant black men.
IMO black American men are much more open minded and considerate than foreign black men. That is due, in part, to our "culture," whereas the men in this nation are very familiar with the issue of "women's rights" and "feminism" even if they do not agree in total with all of the goals/activities of the individuals and groups who are involved in these movements.
Most black men who are American born for 3 or more generations are very well aware of the fact and acknowledge that women have been oppressed in this country in the past. And the forms their opinions and attitudes about certain things. Many African men I've met think that women should be content to be housewives and not complain about anything. They very casually dismiss a woman and don't value her as a unique individual and only want her to fulfill her "traditional role." Please note that this IMO but all of the black men I've known who are directly from African nations have exhibited this sort of mindset - that women are supposed to do certain things and if they don't they are not a "good woman." This mindset is much less common in black American men. It is there, but it is not all encompassing about nearly every aspect of a woman's life like it is for many immigrant black men due to the cultures they are from. This is one of the reasons why I find it laughable that many of them think they have a superior culture to black Americans when they don't.
ETA: Also I've dated men from the Caribbean and from African nations and they are VERY forthcoming sexually, much moreso than many black American men I've met. So if we are going to base morals off of promiscuity, I would say that they are the same in that regard. I think all men are rather promiscuous and that that is natural based on biological urges. I do think that men need to control those urges, but a lot of the unwanted touching I've endured at various jobs came from primarily men from African countries. I've even had a neighbor who was from Africa ask to borrow something and I was friendly to him and let him borrow the item he wanted and when he brought it back he tried to tongue kiss me lol. This was like the 3rd time I had ever spoken to this guy. Then he started talking about marrying me. I've had many proposals from African men at work and in places I've lived in metro Atlanta.
on the bold. I hope more and more black Americans come to this conclusion.
And I tell these same people the blue - those Africans of islanders who for some reason want to laude my country and culture. If theirs was so great, they wouldn't be here and their country wouldn't be the hell hole that it is that makes them and others want to flee. Black Americans don't leave our country, en masse. We are much more committed to communal uplift and working to better a situation (similar to what is even occurring in the thread) - this is something that is a part of black American culture.
Yes only people from pathetic cultures immigrate, that why German is the most frequently reported ethnicity.
Correct if we did we'd have a code of ethics and a form of punishment within our community when we do wrong to each other. The fsft you have so much out of wedlock birthday and crime shows people who dislike it just run away to another environment. The fact the ghettos been poor for decades is a result of blacks running off to be around whites rather than building and fixing their own areas which we were told where to live by white people.
We basically still hate ourselves as a group of people and whites know this.
Exactly people have a serious misunderstanding of what entails a culture. What are African-American mating and courting rituals? What are their baptism ceremonies and funerals like? Could an African-American from the 1800s recognize aspects of their life and customs if they were transported today? There is scant continuity of tradition and customs among African-Americans and whatever there is from whites.
No,and that is the reason the divorce rates are so high now.
Women should pick a mate based on if the man can provide!
I learned a lot from the Asian nurses at my job.
They see things the opposite way.
You marry a man that can provide you with the lifestyle you want,even if you do not love him,and as time goes on and you see he is great provider you WILL grow to love him.
I made a thread on it-Marriage is a business partnership!
Love is for Disney movies,you do NOT pick a mate because you "love" them.
Love does not pay bills. You will eventually fall out of love if a man is not providing like he is supposed to.
I agree with Magritte in that this in kind of opposite of a feminist view. But wanted to note you may not be one and as a feminist myself, I want all women to feel free to desire what they want.
I will note though, that as I stated earlier in the thread, my great grandmother - who was born in 1910, advised me to never totally depend on a man financially. She said a woman should always have a skill or some way to make money and that she knew lots of women, many were her friends, who were left destitute after they got over age 50 and their husbands either died and left nothing but social security or they left their wives for younger women.
So I have never sought a man to financially take care of me. In todays day and age, a woman can take care of herself. When you are dependent on a man financially, he will think he can rule over you and will say all sorts of ridiculous, power tripping things to you and expect you to take it.
That is one of the reasons why I have never been a SAHM very long. It was important to both my husband and I that one of us stay with our kids when they were infants, but I remember with my youngest, he once told me that he "paid the cost to be the boss" and I had to roll my eyes at him and remind him that when I work, I always make more money than he does and that I never say that sort of power hungry, controlling BS to him. I went out and got a job a week after he said that and within a year made more than he did and I still have never said anything like that to him.
But this is common for most women I know who are SAHMs. Their spouses will say VERY demeaning things to them and think they are sitting around all day eating bon bons like some old sitcom and not respect the work they do at home. I would never advise my daughter to grow up and marry a man who can make money and take care of her. I advise her now and she is not even 10 years old, to make sure she keeps up her study and keep her motivation and determination, have good follow through skills and when she grows up to make sure she can take care of herself by herself.
If you find a man who you are compatible with and he makes good money that is great, but I also feel it is a burden to put on a man to take care of you. The worse kind of man to me is what I call a "worthless man" someone who is useless and has no drive or motivation and no work ethic. A "worthless woman" is the same to me and I personally look down on women who want to live off their man all the time and not do anything but spend up money and dress pretty. They are worse to me than a worthless man.
No they don't, many children w/ parents from Africa, refer to themselves as Americans with Nigerian heritage... or as Nigerian American, Ghanaian American, Kenyan American, etc. By the second generation, a number of them are married to people outside of their race/culture and their mixed race children are likely to call themselves --American. For example, though Obama is mixed race (Kenyan and white American), his Kenyan family did not view him as one of them. They viewed him as an American and treated him as such.
I knew a woman whose parents were born in Ghana. I asked her if she had plans of ever returning to live in her family's native country and she informed me that she plans to stay and raise her children in the U.S. I can't blame her because clearly, there's a great deal of economic opportunities here.
I have no real issues with immigration. I do very well for myself. However, I do have a problem with some immigrants, particularly, those from African nations and the Caribbean touting their cultures and countries as superior and great, despite the high poverty, crime and lack of development in their native countries. I understand that people should be proud of their culture, but I would never immigrate to France, Canada or Aruba and then constantly speak about how great America is. --I would expect the native populations of those nations to give me the side eye and ask, --well if it's so great, why aren't you there?
African-Americans would have nothing without whites, nothing. The cities and areas you control are sewers and often resemble 3rd world conditions. In fact African-Americans have a higher homicide rate than many if not most African countries.
That's a major problem with the cultural mindset of African-Americans you think money equals good, so you'll do anything to get it.
Yes only people from pathetic cultures immigrate, that why German is the most frequently reported ethnicity.
LOL, Germans don't want to come to America today like Africans do...
But FWIW, I know some German immigrants (they are legal residents who worked for a company I worked with and they do expect to go back to Germany) and they did not speak ill of black American culture.
Here in the US they don't. They refer to themselves as Nigerian, Ghanaian, etc.
Could be because of the history of the two countries.
Water doesn't know what she is talking about. Africans in Britain also tend to refer to themselves as Nigerian- British or Ghanaian-British. The West Africans don't mix as much as the Caribbean UK Blacks who would be bred out of existence if not for further immigration.
LOL, Germans don't want to come to America today like Africans do...
But FWIW, I know some German immigrants (they are legal residents who worked for a company I worked with and they do expect to go back to Germany) and they did not speak ill of black American culture.
They did in the past. Just like Ghanaians do today, so what of it? Your point is silly. Frankly we aren't coming here for anything African-Americans developed. You guys were just the help so come down from the soapbox.
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on the bold. I hope more and more black Americans come to this conclusion.
