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makes them feel better and shift the blame to black men, it's just stereotypical nonsense passed off from white women to black women since alot of black women wish they had the priveldge white women have.
Having the ability to control a man (black males only) with only actions and thoughts, black women want in.
The fact I can get locked up over a white girl saying I did something to her even though I didn't it's a good chance I will be in court for months fighting for my rights, black women see that and want a piece of the feminist power.
Which is why it's constant a babble and whine and complain about black men from black women see janel monae who is a lesbian speaking on straight black women issues about withholding sex from black men.
Someone find me the white women who's saying something that bold to white males and show me her career going UP UP and AWAY!!!!!
The fact that you trivialize black women's issues is particularly concerning. Perhaps you are simply unaware that black women suffer from the highest rates of sexual and physical abuse than any other race of women in the U.S. Sixty percent of black girls have experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18: Study: 60 Percent of Black Females Are Sexually Abused | Sexual Abuse | National | BET
Also, mandatory arrest policies for domestic violence police calls have led to Black women in particular, being killed by the abusive partner. In case you haven't been following the news, a black teacher was just gunned down by her husband this week, while teaching. He also killed two of her students: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...d-January.html
This is not about black women wanting to align themselves with white feminists, this is about black women wanting to protect themselves and their black daughters, aunts, sisters, friends and associates. What part of this don't you understand?
Lastly, whether or not a woman is a lesbian has no real bearing on her ability to advocate on behalf of women's issues. I do not follow popular culture or music, therefore, I'm not very familiar with Janae Monet, but if she is advocating for black women to be highly selective and to forego sex, then I cosign with her 100%.
I do believe more black women have to raise the bar and stop engaging in activities that ultimately lead to their demise.
Last edited by Water4Life; 04-12-2017 at 01:11 PM..
The core to any community is its women. Women carry and bring forth life. Our mothers are our first teachers. It's because of these facts that female sexuality was controlled through elaborate mating rituals such as marriage, the world over.
For many African-Americans today, that has flown out of the window. Mating and reproduction are often chaotic. Many black women don't seek out good long term partners but short flings based often on physical attraction. Physical attraction is not a good basis to build a long term foundation because it fades over time. This mating chaos leads to black women having the highest rates of abortion, highest rates of neglected and abused children, highest rates of multiple fathers for kids, highest STD rates and the list goes on.
Nothing will go right in African-American community until this is turned around at large, nothing. You can't even begin to address the issues you bring up without it. It would be futile.
I thought it was interesting too, this comment that once again all blame is placed on the black woman.
The bold is very naive and stereotypical. A majority of all women seek a long term partner and especially black women in my experience.
Also black women don't have the highest rates of neglected and abused children. Information on neglect and abuse are about reports and not substantiated actual abuse cases. Also neglect is not as prevalent with blacks as it is with whites. Like in the criminal justice system itself, there is evidence of racial bias in the reporting of neglect and abuse for black families versus others so one has to consider this when reviewing that data.
In regards to STDs, black men have the highest rates of STD contradiction, not black women. Because black women overwhelmingly seek black spouses/mates, we stand to be affected by these contradictions of black men much more than other women populations by ethnicity.
All of the things you mentioned above are not issues that can be blamed on black women. I agree that relationships should not be primarily based on "looks" or someone's body type but honestly, men are much more likely to want to date a woman who is exceptionally attractive versus a woman period, and this extends to black women. There is always some fine woman with an unattractive man lol. You rarely see the opposite. Women of all ethnicities are not as hung up on looks as men are.
and to add to the fact that the gender war nonsense in the black community won't happen in any other community which is why other communities don't have blacks issues....
But blacks don't seem to understand this. so I don't waste time arguing with fools with this gender nonsense.
LOL, what's a "black issue."
FYI - there are feminists of all ethnicities. Only difference between those ethnic groups in America and blacks on feminism and women's rights is that the men don't make it an issue about a specific ethicity of the women like black men do.
There is always some white, Latino, Asian, etc., man complaining about "feminazis" on this very forum. They don't speak ill though based on race - just gender itself and them not supporting feminism.
In the black community it is only an issue because of black men and their desire to have black women always agreeing with them and working with them and if we take a stand on something not black male related, they want to say we are trying to be divisive or like white people - seemingly their ultimate enemies.
The fact that you trivialize black women's issues is particularly concerning. Perhaps you are simply unaware that black women suffer from the highest rates of sexual and physical abuse than any other race of women in the U.S. Sixty percent of black girls have experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18: Study: 60 Percent of Black Females Are Sexually Abused | Sexual Abuse | National | BET
Also, mandatory arrest policies for domestic violence police calls have led to Black women in particular, being killed by the abusive partner. In case you haven't been following the news, a black teacher was just gunned down by her husband this week, while teaching. He also killed two of her students: Gunman and San Bernardino teacher married for 3 months | Daily Mail Online
This is not about black women wanting to align themselves with white feminists, this is about black women wanting to protect themselves and their black daughters, aunts, sisters, friends and associates. What part of this don't you understand?
Lastly, whether or not a woman is a lesbian has no real bearing on her ability to advocate on behalf of women's issues. I do not follow popular culture or music, therefore, I'm not very familiar with Janae Monet, but if she is advocating for black women to be highly selective and to forego sex, then I cosign with her 100%.
I do believe more black women have to raise the bar and stop engaging in activities that ultimately lead to their demise.
I agree with this. That poster in particular is only trying to see things from a "black issues" perspective and isn't including any issues that either women in general face at the hands of men or the fact that black women have higher rates of abuse from OUR men than other women do.
Edward mentioned STDS. Again, black men have VERY high rates of STDs. It is like they want us to cure them of their whoring desires when it comes to STDs, they want us to cure them of their aggressiveness and violent tendencies with us or within the community and act like it is nothing that they can work together on.
The case in CA this week was very sad and I mentioned in the other thread that I have had 2 people I know killed by their black husband/boyfriend in my life. One was a cousin who I was very close to and who I grew up with.
It also is...I can only say very condescending for a man to say black women don't want a long term relationship. Both of the women I know who were killed, including my cousin were in those relationships for over 10 years and stayed in those relationships and tried to work things out because they had kids and didn't want to be a part of that single mother stereotype. The other woman who was not a family member even had posts on social media lamenting about the fact that she wanted to keep her family together and be a "strong black family."
Black men perpetuate the idea that we don't want families and these women go through great lengths to keep their relationships going and their families together. I know a lot of women who stay in their marriages with black husbands because they don't want to be another statistic and they want their husbands to be fathers to their children and do all they can to stay together. They don't want to be looked at as a stereotype or a failure.
I also don't think a woman being a lesbian negates them from having a vested interest in women's rights or the lack of respect to black women in particular.
Lesbians are women. Black lesbians are black women. They primarily live in black neighbohoods and they have black family members, many of which are males and they are also negatively stereotyped.
I am not a lesbian but I have family and friends who are. I think the issues facing black gay men and lesbians are ones that straight black men should also be concerned about.
If you are advocating for "unity" you have to admit that there are varying degrees of diversity within the black community itself and you have to account for and advocate for all of the people within the demographic and not pick and choose IMO based on what you feel is most important or which is more close to you as a black, straight male.
So none of the black men in your circle have ever said anything disparaging about "black women?"
I honestly don't believe that. I don't because my husband is similar to how you describe your circle in that he thinks that black men who marry outside of the race are c00ns and are victims of "white supremacy." However, he also has spoken VERY negatively about black women in general as mentioned earlier in the thread. Even though he doesn't do it anymore in front of our children, in our personal conversations, he does still speak ill about black women. Mostly that black women are to blame for black boys being gay or black women don't have black men's back or that black women are not docile and "feminine" enough. And that black women speaking of issues facing black women are them trying to be like white women.
So I don't buy that. The men who are what I call "race men" in that they think poorly of everyone who isn't "all black" all the time, they also frequently denigrate black women but will make a distinction between "their woman" and the rest of the black women.
And please note, I'm not saying that all black men say these things about black women, only that those who don't usually don't say anything to their friends/family members who speak these sorts of disparaging comments.
what you're describing is like an organized effort to undermine the efforts of black women. Black men may vent about black women but it's not what you see from the youtube guys that have been mentioned. And guess what, IT'S OKAY TO SPEAK ABOUT BLACK WOMEN SOMETIMES...NOBODY IS PERFECT.We have opinions and gripes about black women, and women in general. Yall speak ill about black men and men of other races too. You'll never have a population of men and women in completely harmony. You really have this image of black men constantly calling all black women derogatory names. If anything black men would rather put another black man in check for his wrong ways...face to face. The reason you don't see black men in mass going at the Tommy Soto____'s of the world is because you can simply ignore them and it's a waste of time.
You're asking for something that really isn't a reality, women have always had to be kept in check in order to maintain the community, men aren't perfect. for example
White men all over the news justify the cops behavior when it comes to a white woman going at them.
Why not simply discuss the issue at hand without discussing the behaviors of other groups? I never stated that non black men were good or perfect, I simply mentioned that there is a problem with sexism and misogyny among black men (since this thread pertains to black men).
Quote:
I blame rape on lots of men being around women they don't have good bonds with, lots of stepdaddies out there and men there to give sex to the mother ends up raping the daughters, lets keep it real alot of these guys are strangers, it's men that the mothers know that they bring around their kids.
I don't even know where to begin, but hopefully others will see the common theme here. Obviously, people should protect their children, but according to you, the high rates of sexual assault of black girls and women is of course the black woman's fault. If her daughter is raped.. it is the mom's fault and not the male's fault who raped her?
I guess in your opinion, the black woman's mother (in the below video) is at fault, for allowing her child to live with her own biological father who repeatedly raped her:
and yes a lesbian speaking on straight issues is naive, Spicer got in trouble for being up Hitler, almost a century has passed and it's still illegal to speak on that subject.
This is simply your opinion, but I'm curious, do you believe a man should be speaking on behalf of women?
I agree with this. That poster in particular is only trying to see things from a "black issues" perspective and isn't including any issues that either women in general face at the hands of men or the fact that black women have higher rates of abuse from OUR men than other women do.
Edward mentioned STDS. Again, black men have VERY high rates of STDs. It is like they want us to cure them of their whoring desires when it comes to STDs, they want us to cure them of their aggressiveness and violent tendencies with us or within the community and act like it is nothing that they can work together on.
The case in CA this week was very sad and I mentioned in the other thread that I have had 2 people I know killed by their black husband/boyfriend in my life. One was a cousin who I was very close to and who I grew up with.
It also is...I can only say very condescending for a man to say black women don't want a long term relationship. Both of the women I know who were killed, including my cousin were in those relationships for over 10 years and stayed in those relationships and tried to work things out because they had kids and didn't want to be a part of that single mother stereotype. The other woman who was not a family member even had posts on social media lamenting about the fact that she wanted to keep her family together and be a "strong black family."
Black men perpetuate the idea that we don't want families and these women go through great lengths to keep their relationships going and their families together. I know a lot of women who stay in their marriages with black husbands because they don't want to be another statistic and they want their husbands to be fathers to their children and do all they can to stay together. They don't want to be looked at as a stereotype or a failure.
It is interesting that many of them hold the same false beliefs. They love to quote the STD stats, without mentioning that black men have the highest rates of STDs among all groups (men and women).
I do not, however believe that the high rates of STDs are solely the fault of black men. I think it's imperative for men and women to respect themselves and not engage in sex with anyone without condoms and without getting tested for STDs. If more people who engaged in sex took these simple actions, the STD incidence rates would plummet.
what you're describing is like an organized effort to undermine the efforts of black women. Black men may vent about black women but it's not what you see from the youtube guys that have been mentioned. And guess what, IT'S OKAY TO SPEAK ABOUT BLACK WOMEN SOMETIMES...NOBODY IS PERFECT.We have opinions and gripes about black women, and women in general. Yall speak ill about black men and men of other races too. You'll never have a population of men and women in completely harmony. You really have this image of black men constantly calling all black women derogatory names. If anything black men would rather put another black man in check for his wrong ways...face to face. The reason you don't see black men in mass going at the Tommy Soto____'s of the world is because you can simply ignore them and it's a waste of time.
I disagree w/ the bolded statement. Black women can't continue to allow the black men who hate black women to repeatedly degrade and tear down our very image all over social media. Doing so will only ensure that bw and girls are abused at even higher rates.
So basically black men bare no responsibility for their own behavior? How can we build strong communities without strong men?
Quote:
Originally Posted by slarock
Common culture was based around a patriarch which is basically stating you have a head and a tail, you have a leader and moreso someone who's a follower. The black community has never been a normal community so it's hard to give you a normal answer, we never really had our own culture since the slavery and the Moors was too long along for most to remember.
So common culture is based around European standards which brings me back to patriarchy.
I will answer more in depth but I won't blame tons of black males, most poor and under-educated and usually have to be a position to chase women to get respect, I won't blame them for doing dumb things, like I said blacks in america never had a standard like other groups have.
These issues aren't big in other communities because the men are used to moreso getting respected and treated like men.
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