BLACK: MEN: let's talk (enemy, Obama, high school, compare)
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I'm sorry you feel that way, truly. Black women should never be made to feel as if they're lesser than, by anyone.
However, I feel like you're painting black men with a broad brush, as if all of us feel this way.
As I said earlier in this thread, I and many of my friends (black men) are married to black women. The last thing anybody would accuse us of is not respecting black women or not acknowledging their struggles and supporting them.
The majority of married black men are married to black women. Also, the goal of this thread and my last thread are to address various issues in the black community and what we as a people can do to recover. Im hoping to get some insight with this thread on how black MEN can be more involved in black WOMEN'S fight for equality.
Ok, that explains a lot. But if you ever have daughters, you will more than likely have a different opinion about them lowering their standards.
I'm not saying one should "lower their standards", there are some jobs that just don't pay a lot. I current work in social services and we make a relatively low wage. It wouldn't be hard for a woman to out earn me.
And that is fine if you are happy with what you do for a living and the amount of money you make. However, I think black women are often advised to lower our standards to accommodate black men. I did not do that when selecting my husband, nor would I advise my daughters to lower theirs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pandorafan5687
I'm not saying one should "lower their standards", there are some jobs that just don't pay a lot. I current work in social services and we make a relatively low wage. It wouldn't be hard for a woman to out earn me.
I know what year it is. I also know that multi-racial families exist. That being said, this thread was started for black men to have a conversation on how we can eliminate (or at least) reduce the tension that some black men have toward black women.
I'm exhausted and feel as if I have very little left to give because it seems as if issues with black men showing black women disrespect are never ending.
At work today there was yet another microaggression by one of my coworkers who happens to be a black man. Its sickening. It truly is. Especially since I have helped this guy MANY times yet he thinks so little of me as a black woman that he has no issue with little slaps in the face to let me know that I am less than because I am a black woman. Next time he needs help he will politely be told to eff off.
I am so, so tired. This thread has done nothing but reinforce what I already know to be true.
I am so grateful for the input of the black women in this thread and a few of the black men as well. But the denial is deep and the blame game has been perfected by many. If black men can't even admit that many of them have hurt us then how can we even begin to heal?
When I read threads like this it makes me trust black men much less. The DEEP hatred that many black men have for black women is palpable in several posts on this thread.
Ridley and Elba's account of the black power movement in London is essentially revisionist history. Ridley mentioned that his wife is an Asian activist. Therefore, it's easy to see that he decided to alter historical accounts to ensure that his wife (and other non black women like her) were recognized. The problem is, these women should not be receiving recognition for actions that they didn't take. If anything, he and Elba should be paying homage to the many black women who were actually on the front lines, fighting side by side, w/ black men.
It is very telling that Idris Elba went along w/ co-producing a storyline that features an Asian woman as a pivotal leader of the black power movement in London. Ultimately, it shows that even some black men who are dating black women will remain mostly silent when it comes to black women being erased from our own stories.
As an aside, I did a little research and discovered that it was actually an asian man who played a role in the black power movement in London, yet instead of using an asian or non black man to tell this particular story, the black producers and writers ultimately decided to erase the black women --Very telling indeed.
I do agree w/ you about it being the ultimate black male fantasy to have a non black woman fighting with a black man against "white oppression." In reality however, it is always black women who are at the forefront protesting w/ black men.
We certainly owe a lot to social media, because more and more black women are waking up to the truth. The great thing is we can simply tune out and not support this project. A number of black women are on social media planning to boycott (showtime). I think it is very wise for us to do so. After all, we should never support our own erasure.
Some people may interpret this as black women being bitter, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. I have no issues with IR dating. The main issue is not IR relationships, the issue is, the erasure of black women from our own stories.
It is time for black women to pull back on fighting for the rights of black men and to focus on ourselves.
Black women need to stop worrying about the discrimination and injustices that black men (who are not related to us or friends) suffer.
Instead of being in a constant state alert regarding anti-black (male) racism, we need to take that energy and focus on making our individual lives whole and complete. Focus on health, diet, exercise, beauty, education, finances, travel, art, etc.
We MUST stop fighting their battles. Men fight their own battles. Men protect their own women. The reason that we as black women are viewed as being unfeminine is because we are constantly fighting for black men. That is very backwards. Men fight battles, women are protected. Femininity flourishes when women are PROTECTED.
I hope that more black women will decide to sit out the next anti-black male incident that is bound to occur. Let black men march and protest because I will be too busy painting my nails, curling my hair and looking pretty to be bothered.
There is a difference between simply being apathetic and having hatred for the other half of one's own race.
Personally, I think that I was in denial about the DEPTHS of hatred that many black men have towards black women. And then there was YouTube. I mean some of these black men make 100% of their LIVING off of spewing their hatred; creating content DAILY bashing black women. While the vast majority of black women on that platform create content SUPPORTING black men and the black community. Its frustrating.
Go to any given forum that is predominantly black men and the hatred is undeniable....and the good black men remain silent. It is demoralizing yet no one wants to be honest about it. No one wants to address it.
Black men are constantly asking the world to not judge them by the "bad apples" yet many turn around and gladly cosign the worse stereotypes about black women.
I don't think most decent BM are even going to those forums. As a decent black man, I don't. Also as a decent black man, I can call out wrong when I see/hear it. At the same time though, I cannot be in every black man's brain or mouth manipulating their actions.
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