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I was just stating that if you go back in history and take a peek at those who are successful, however one might gauge that, many had children...
My husband and I started having children while we were in our 20's and I have a bachelors and masters degree while my husband has 2 bachelors, a Phd and MD, not too shabby for folks with kids. We also own successful businesses, have nice homes and have held positions in the community. I ran a 501c3 for 3 years, taught a few classes at University of Richmond, and have my own photography business for portraits and went back into medical and forensic photography to keep my mind going so I guess it is relative to the person having the children and their personal drive.
We actually have a woman working for us who is 21 and has 2 children! When I first met her I assumed she was at least 30 because she was so driven, responsible and mature. On the other hand we have another woman who works for us who is a numbskull at 30 and I would not let her watch my kids pet hermit crab
Some folks can handle it and some can't....we happen to be some who can, do and enjoy every minute of it!
Nice post!
My story differs a bit in that my DH died 4 mo. after our daughter was born and I opted not to go on to grad school (he was working on his PhD at the time).
One can never really know what life will bring.
Do I regret bringing my daughter into this world? Absolutely not!!!
I was suddenly a "young single mother".
I've had to fight stereotypes my whole life (probably why this thread rankles me a bit?).
I'm young-ish, but not as young as I appear (thus the funny "being carded" story).
I'm a single mother, but never divorced.
I've never been on welfare. In fact, when the market was good, there were times when we were quite flush.
As far as kids of young, single mothers not amounting to much? SSSShhh don't tell my daughter. She's too busy working on her PhD.......
"
Both parents are more established in their careers, usu[SIZE=3]ally offering greater financial security. If career issues are ironed out, children are less of a threat. Parents feel like they have time for both their career and family. Mothers have more confidence to manage the changes in their life that children bring because of the organizational skills they have developed in their work. Older couples usually own property or a house, making that one less financial burden. More money also allows for support services or better quality day care."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
I'm going to take a WILD guess that you aren't a teacher that involves anything to do with science or facts.
That is not a STUDY or even a report based on an actual study, it is an ARTICLE that is written with a Time On-line and AARP On-line magazine listed as sources!!!
I have done a quick search and haven't been able to identify if the third source is any more substantial.
Page down to page 10 which has a graph that shows that divorce rates increase for the first, appx, 7 years of marriage and then decreases which decreases a child's chances of being a child of divorce if their parents wait to see if the marriage is going to work first.
I guess I'll play teacher again. This doesn't have anything at all to do with what age people have children. It applies equally to those who get married at age 22, 32, 42, 52. The best you can do (which this report does not do) is ASSUME people are better off waiting 7 years after marriage to have children, which discredits your idea that people should wait until they are 30. So, if someone gets married at 20 they are 'good to go' at age 27, according to your 'common knowledge', wait 7 years to see if marriage will last theory. If they marry at 34 they are already over your age threshold so the 7 year wouldn't apply to them although this indicates they are equally as likely to have their marriage end in divorce.
It's pretty much a given that financial stability makes for a less stressful household. The older you are, the more life experience you have in many areas. It is better to have certain things in place when you have kids. I don't see where anyone has disputed any of that. But this thread has degenerated into distortions, last word-itis and the projection of personal issues that are just that, as well as being patently absurd.
We're talking about having them younger as opposed to older, as a preference and from experience. I get that discussions tend to veer off a little, and we speak from experience because it is part of who we are. It's great when it is productive. It is when people can't see past their bubble that a discussion goes to pot. Like this one.
I don't know why some people bring in the "Fact" that your brain doesn't mature until you are 25yrs old. Therefore if you have children before you really are an idiot. I have met many 40 yr olds who behave WORSE than me. They behave in ways that I never WILL. And they have children. Its kind of gross that such disgusting people hace children.
It's pretty much a given that financial stability makes for a less stressful household. The older you are, the more life experience you have in many areas. It is better to have certain things in place when you have kids. I don't see where anyone has disputed any of that. But this thread has degenerated into distortions, last word-itis and the projection of personal issues that are just that, as well as being patently absurd.
We're talking about having them younger as opposed to older, as a preference and from experience. I get that discussions tend to veer off a little, and we speak from experience because it is part of who we are. It's great when it is productive. It is when people can't see past their bubble that a discussion goes to pot. Like this one.
I hope you don't regret starting this thread. It's been very interesting.
We would improve the world for our kids if we waited to have them. Just waiting long enough to make sure your marriage will work would save so many from being damaged by divorce.
My wife and I married in Aug of '83. She became pregnant (unplanned) in March of '84. According to your logic, we weren't sure if our marriage was going to work. So, what should we have done? Had an abortion?
My wife and I married in Aug of '83. She became pregnant (unplanned) in March of '84. According to your logic, we weren't sure if our marriage was going to work. So, what should we have done? Had an abortion?
Can you, honestly, say it wouldn't have been better if you'd waited?
When you have a choice to make, you choose the lesser of the evils. Young, immature, financially unstable, more likely to divorce parents are better than death.
I don't know why some people bring in the "Fact" that your brain doesn't mature until you are 25yrs old. Therefore if you have children before you really are an idiot. I have met many 40 yr olds who behave WORSE than me. They behave in ways that I never WILL. And they have children. Its kind of gross that such disgusting people hace children.
No one said they're idiots. Just they're not mature. What is your logic for thinking people should have children before they mature? Seems like common sense to me that waiting until you mature is a good thing. Why do you think it's bad to wait until you're mature? or better that you have kids before you mature? Or even the same? Seems to me there'd be a difference between mature and immature and one would be prefferable to the other.
As to those 40 year olds, age is necessary but not sufficient for maturity. Some people never grow up but most do, given time. Some need more time than others. The fact some never grow up doesn't negate the fact that age is necessary to attain maturity, if one is going to attain it.
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