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I suspect that
a) physically our bodies are in a better condition to have babies when we are young.
b) Mentally we are better equiped to have babies when we are old.
The media would have us believe that
c) society has a teen pregnancy problem.
d) the need for fertility clinics because people put off and off having babies.
So here is the solution.
Get the teens to have babies
--> No more teen pregnancy problem.
Give the babies to the grannies
--> No more need for fertility clinics
Then when todays teens become grannies, their grand kids will give them their babies to look after.
Incidentally, you can vacation as a couple when you have kids as well. My husband and I are planning a trip to Europe in a few years, when I feel a little more comfortable leaving the kids with a grandparent, or better, their aunt and uncle. We'll be in our late 30s, hardly "old." One of the advantages of having kids in your 30s is that if you planned things right, you had a decade+ more time to build your career and make money, so taking a second honeymoon isn't exactly breaking the bank, and you can still afford to vacation with your kids as well (not to mention, actually having the vacation time instead of a measly two weeks). Try thinking beyond your situation.
I hear you, but when you have kids, whether you leave them with relatives/nannies/whatever or you vacation/travel with them - there's more to it. Everything changes once you have kids. When it comes to travelling... it means more planning, more to deal with schedule-wise... will it interfere with their school? Athletics? Recitals? Etc.? And it also affects where you travel to and what you do... and will the kids be bored or will they enjoy it? Will their legs get tired? Those sorts of things. My husband and I have tried a few vacations just us since we've had our kids, and it's been OK, but just different. For the first 24-48 hours or so we are having a great time, and then it's, "I wonder how the kids are doing..." and we miss them. So whether we bring them or leave them it's not the same as our vacations were pre-kiddo's.
10 years ago for you = 31. That's not "young" IMO. That's pretty average, and old enough to be financially secure-ish and not so old that fertility will likely be a problem. sounds like the perfect age! (I was 30 and 32 when mine were born)
Teaching your child of what is right and wrong is what I would worry about. 'Hanging' out with my kids wouldn't be important to me. As long as I see them often. Relating to them is pretty important but it's not much different if you're older. The age you have your children doesn't matter to me either. As long as you're ready and completely know you want a kid or more.
Teaching your child of what is right and wrong is what I would worry about. 'Hanging' out with my kids wouldn't be important to me. As long as I see them often. Relating to them is pretty important but it's not much different if you're older. The age you have your children doesn't matter to me either. As long as you're ready and completely know you want a kid or more.
when someone says "younger parents relate to their kids better", all I think is "immature".
No matter how young a parent is, s/he is seen by the child as "the older generation". S/he is the disciplinarian. This is not the basis for a "friend" relationship.
More and more women are having babies in their 30's and 40's. I guess a married couple can enjoy life while they're young and then settle into having a family. But I feel the older we get, the more we might appreciate slowing down and relaxing - at least I do. At 39, I can't imagine being responsible for another human being for 18 more years.
I also like being young enough to be able to relate to my son during his entry into adulthood. He likes being around me, wants me to tear up the town with him when he turns 21. I'm not much of a party gal anymore, but I love that he thinks I'm "cool" enough to party with.
Your thoughts?
I don't think there is a right age. My brother was married and had two kids before he turned 25. They'll both be gone to college before he's 40. While he loves his family he says that sometimes he regrets not having a few years of just young adult freedom before he took on the role of responsible for other people.
I have a aunt who had her first child at 34 and she is still that "cool" mom to the high school kids, especially those on his basketball team.
Quote:
Originally Posted by schmidty223
'Hanging' out with my kids wouldn't be important to me. .
Good point. My mom was not my friend when I was growing up. i hated being around her for the most part and when I went off to college I operated on a checking in basis. But then as I got older we became really close in a way that we couldn't have been when she was raising me. So now when I see a preview for a movie I'll text her and say "hey we have to go see that"
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