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It's becoming very clear that some in this thread think there is a right and wrong to this issue. How very ignorant. It should be illegal to have kids before you are 30?? People who plan to enjoy their EARLY retirement from active parenting think kids are hamsters?? People who have babies younger do so for some reason like needing to feel loved or being foolish or whatever. All because you know some irresponsible bimbo who got knocked up and doesn't have any maturity or good sense? You need to get out of your little strange world and meet some more people. You people need to get a clue.
No one here who has had kids younger is decrying the moms who choose to be such at an older age, do what you want....even though you are risking your health and the health of your child with later in life pregnancy, even though your knees crack when you carry your little one up the stairs and you're not limber enough to climb through the tunnels at chuckecheese, even though at the high school graduation you might be mistaken for a grandparent, even though you might be dead before your grandchildren will even remember you.
See, you can make it look as bleak as you want but still neither one is more right than the other.
ETA....I've also been wondering why it is more acceptable to travel and have fun, live it up, etc. BEFORE you have kids (and delay kids so you can do so) rather than to do those very same things AFTER your children are grown. When someone says they can't wait to be 46 with grown kids and still be young enough to travel, have fun, live it up, etc. that it is compared to waiting for your hamster to die (which was really an appalling comment).
great post! apparently I have already repped you to many times
Originally Posted by emailvasally
"I agree that it depends on the person and maturity level. Nothing wrong with doing it either way.
but, imho I love the fact I had my kids young. one at 20 (maybe a couple yrs to young) and the other at 26. I will be aprox 44 when the last one leaves. I will still have plenty of life and energy left to do fun things that I would not have had the money to do at 22 with or without kids. If I have grandkids I will still be able to have fun with them and enjoy them. Also when it comes to my kids now, like another poster said, I can play, hike, swim, and roughhouse with them. I dont sit on the sidelines. And, while i'm not their friend i'm their parent, they still enjoy my company and would prefer to be here at home with their friends then at someone elses house. i'm young enough to remember and understand what my 13 yo dd is feeling/going through.
just another thought, and it doesnt always work out this way. My MIL was 40 when she had my dh. He was 33 when we had our youngest. She didnt become a grandma until 73. her health started failing and she passed away at 80. She never got to really get to know or enjoy her grandson. And her grandson never got the privaledge of really getting to know his grandma. grandpa was 47 when he had DH and died before my dh and I got married. "
I only made it to page two maybe you need to take reading comprehension[/quote]
You must be a politician. You take one item out of what I say and distort it. that was one of many reasons why I chose to have kids early. I fully enjoy my kids(activity wise) more than any other older parent (except one) that I have met. to me that is the best part of having them young. There isnt anything that they would want to do as an activity now or most likely 10 yrs from now that I couldnt do with them. My dd is talking about sky diving. she is only 13 now but when she is 16 I will probably take her. Most (but not all) older parents cannot do that with their kids. The other big thing with me is the fact I will most likely be able to be an active grandparent. I should still be able to run around with my grandkids at the park, play tennis, etc. being in retirement and doing what I want to do is an added bonus. It is a bonus because if I were to have waited to have the kids I would not have been able to afford cruises, trips to italy, cancun, etc.
None of the younger parents started bashing older parents until you came in here with your preposterous accusations. Obviously you have been around some pretty horrible young parents. You need to take your head out from under the sheets and see the real world. their are many great young parents out there. either that or you keep thinking about teenage parents and that was not what this post was originally about.
Accomplished what? What could you possibly have accomplished by the time you are 25 that's significant enough to be ready for that responsibility? The average person is lucky to have a somewhat-decent job by that point, but the average person is pretty far below the people I know, who still are smart enough not to have kids. Of the people I keep in some contact with, mostly from high school, one just got out of law school and still isn't making anything yet, another graduates from law school this spring, another just graduated from grad. school, same with another still, then another graduates this spring from grad school, these are all people who are 26 years old! They are not ready to have kids. Who would be at this point? Really mediocre people perhaps who started a career at 18 and feel they are "old enough" now because they didn't go and attempt anything beyond total mediocrity.
Especially in today's society, where a college degree is almost TOTALLY meaningless, you can't even expect to have an established career before you are about 35. Unless you're LeBron James, Michael Phelps, or a major movie star.
at 25 my dh had a job with the govt making 50k yr, I had an accounting job making 30k per yr and a house that 25% was put down on. stop lumping everyone together.
I never said something was right or wrong. I never said what was acceptable or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi
The thing that is ticking me off is not the age thing. There are people out there that can step up to the plate and do a fine job.
1. Yea I am a politician. I am mayor of stfuville and stop misconstruing everything I say land.
2. You mean nobody was bashing each other until some (insert term here) decided to flip out because I posed a question
3. YOU YOU YOU! yes you know me so well don't you because all of my comments have been about how horrible young parents are and how I was raised by young parents. Are YOU Dr.Phil?
I think Dr. Phil would agree that some people here have some work to do before they should consider having kids. Toxic personalities at any age are not well suited for child rearing.
Accomplished what? What could you possibly have accomplished by the time you are 25 that's significant enough to be ready for that responsibility? The average person is lucky to have a somewhat-decent job by that point, but the average person is pretty far below the people I know, who still are smart enough not to have kids. Of the people I keep in some contact with, mostly from high school, one just got out of law school and still isn't making anything yet, another graduates from law school this spring, another just graduated from grad. school, same with another still, then another graduates this spring from grad school, these are all people who are 26 years old! They are not ready to have kids. Who would be at this point? Really mediocre people perhaps who started a career at 18 and feel they are "old enough" now because they didn't go and attempt anything beyond total mediocrity.
Especially in today's society, where a college degree is almost TOTALLY meaningless, you can't even expect to have an established career before you are about 35. Unless you're LeBron James, Michael Phelps, or a major movie star.
You are operating on the premise that a person has no worth if they are not predisposed to become high profile attorneys or doctors or members of the fortune 500. We live in a very diverse world where there are people to fill every niche. The garbage man is just as important as an attorney. A poor person who had struggled against adversity, made it thru community college working various jobs, etc. has accomplished as much and has as much knowledge and wisdom to offer a child than an attorney that’s had his way paid by his parents. Wealthy highly educated people don’t guarantee better parents or happier children. Sometimes ones accomplishment is raising their children. Sometimes mediocre people produce accomplished children and accomplished people produce mediocre children.
I had my first child at 27 and the second will be here in a couple of months. I just turned 31 and my husband is 29. We waited until we bought a home and I'd finished grad school.
Being young or old is all in perspective. Some people think we're young. Some think we're right on time. Still others have wondered what took us so long. There are some 40 year olds I wouldn't trust babysitting my kids, but 21 year olds I'd be more than comfortable leaving them with.
The thing that is ticking me off is not the age thing. There are people out their that can step up to the plate and do a fine job. But those are not the people saying I want to have kids at 19 so I can be 37 and then be free. Your job doesn't end when the kid turns 18 and my heart breaks for children that were shown the door at 18 and are struggling. I have seen kids drop out of school like flies because they cannot afford it and are too young to apply for finaid.
I'm so lucky to have parents that are sticking with me because times are hard and it is just wrong to say you are done on their 18th birthday. Why have kids in the first place if their such a burden?
I don't feel this way at all. To be honest once they are 18 you get to enjoy them in a totally dif way then before. Yes your job changes but it is never done.
One poster on here said there wasn't a right or a wrong. Some of us planned our children while others just welcomed theirs. I think there are some advantages to having kids young just as there are advantages to having them when you are older. But one thing we can all agree on that have children is we wouldn't change a thing about having them and thats whats really important.
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